Burnt by a Star
by Valerianna
Summary: Diary of Sakura: After being engaged to Naruto for two years, one day I turned around and found him cheating on me with Uchiha Sasuke. A/N: AU, modern universe. It's the only possible explanation something as messed up as this could happen. Sister fic to: Desire for a Star.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

A/N: I started this because I wanted to get into the habit of writing a journal.

The contents of this fic is partly fictional and partly autobiographical. Fictional because my own life is too boring. Autobiographical because I want the realist feel. I'm practicing the art of journal writing without sounding too Highschool-esque. Please bare with me.

This fic will be in the universe that is parallel to "Desire for a Star", because the author is too tired to make up any other universe available.

DIARY OF HARUNO SAKURA!

* * *

April 13, 2013

I am currently writing this by the bay window beside my Grandmother's precious herbs. It's snowing outside. Middle of the April and its still snowing. I wonder if it is global warming and climate change, or is it the idea of God playing a joke on us all?I don't know.

By "writing," of course I mean that I'm typing on my tiny touch screen laptop with a flip open keyboard attached. I wish times were like the olden days where we could use a large feathery quill, dip it in ink, and then scribble on my golden hemmed notebook and pen those long elegant letters similar to the elvish language in "Lord of the Rings." Unfortunately I have two problems with that. First, I have horrible hand writing. I mean, I could probably try if I wish. If I really, really try to write neat and curvy at the same time, but my ideas flow out faster than I can write. In that case, I'd spend ten minutes writing a paragraph fit for a museum, but then it would be a boring and unfinished paragraph. Second, one can obviously see the impracticality of having a quill. If the feather tickles me I might sneeze. Then I might knock over my ink, then I might smudge my beautiful leather bound notebook-

That might be messy.

Besides, Grandmother would kill me, for all her previous herbs and plants are in the greenhouse in the winter. Yes, she would. Yes, yes. She would.

Luckily, I saved up to buy this little tablet of mine. It's very quaint and cute, and it flips open whenever I need to type something-which is seems like always. I not only use it for notes, but I also use it for drawing, writing stories, checking email, downloading PowerPoints, writing essays... Let's just say I use it for practically everything. So you know what that means -the day I break this is coming soon.

I feel the need to write a journal entry today, because of all the shit that has happened to me during the last few weeks-or months, even. I may actually have to give myself an award for the "worst life ever." Seriously. None of the friends I have knows about this, but I seriously do have the _worst life ever_. The only reason I don't go suicidal is because I have a thesis to work on and it would be a waste of tuition. I also have a cool house to live in, with my Grandmother. Who is always remindingme that she's on her deathbed and asks me to do all sorts of chores around the house in preparation for her death. It used to scare me a few years ago, but now it's just a regular day when Grandma says, "Sakura, come snip some lavender for a bouquet for dear Tsunade. It's her birthday tomorrow. You need to learn how to make a bouquet yourself now, for one day I might die just like that, and what will you do when it's your professor's birthday?"

I didn't answer, because I knew she would not like my answer.

So, I grab the tiny pair of silver scissors and begin to clip. I clip everything she asks. The two strands of lavender, one ofhorseshoe lilly, a few strands of star grass, a meter long of pale pink ribbon, and pretty wrapping paper. Then she arranged it into a basket with a bottle of wine and some fruit.

"I'll deliver it to her tomorrow." I said.

She nodded.

After that, she finally left me alone for a while with my thoughts while she flipped on the national geographic channel. She usually reads medical books or recipes.

Where were we-oh right. Now to detail my life.

I live in a wonderful old house that is almost ancient. I swear the walls are made from stone. Or something that's equally heavy and ugly. Grandmother painted over them, so now they're not eyesores. The best part about this house is that it is huge. Most of the space is used as greenhouse or for herb gardens. Grandmother has been taking care of her precious herbs almost all her life, and she is an excellent doctor that specializes intraditional medicine. Although, I suspect she begin her studies with herbs because she wanted to poison Grandfather... Speaking of him, Grandfather is long dead. If he didn't diedfrom complications due to diabetes I would've asked for an autopsy to prove what my Grandmother is capable of.

I think it's my Grandmother's dearest wish in life for me to go into medicine. Yes, medicine-with countless herbs to memorize, countless body muscles or bones to read over, and if one mishaps happens, it all falls apart. No, no, no! I swore to myself that I would not go into medicine for three reasons. First is because I am a coward. Second, because I am not responsible. The last reason is that I love the arts. Painting, reading, stories. So I chose arts.

My grandmother did not give up. She contacted my university Dean, who supposedly is her cousin twice removed or something, and asked him to place me in a health science minor-specializing in traditional medicines. I had no choice. For five years in a row, my professor for each traditional medicine course is taught by Tsunade-sama. Who, of course, is a total slack,but that doesn't mean I can slack. She adopts this "do as I say, not as I do" motto in life, and often give us pop quizzes while crunching on chocolate in front of us. Evil.

In truth, by the time we get to our fifth year, she's cut down the class-size to a tenth. There's only like... four or five students in our class now. My best friend, Ino is in my class, along with Tenten. Then there's this really weird but androgynous kid names Sai, who's the only guy. The last one is this girl who just transferred and I swear that she's in her teens. I mean, isn't there a rule in university that won't allow kids younger than 16 or something to attend? I can guarantee this kid is stretching it even at 16. Since I don't want to feel inferior to her, I often avoid her. It's not a surprise that she has the best grades out of all of us, and seconded by Sai.

That sums up my academic life... don't worry little tablet, more complaints will flow out later on. Now, to the biggest fuck-up I have ever had in my life!

I was engaged to this guy... Who is rich and cute and wonderful. He was my _everything!_ He was sunny, bright, fun, goofy, awesome and completely perfect -until I caught him cheating on me.

Well, to make a long story short, I walked in on him a few month ago having sex with someone else. That someone else, was and is a man.

Yes, a man. A man, a _man_, a** man!**

I didn't really get a good look at that man, because at that moment, I went CRAZY. He should be thankful that I didn't bring my tablet with me that day, because I would've undoubtedly thrown it at him. I would've raised my bag, and swung it towards that ridiculously vibrant blond head of his. I would not regret it either. At that moment I think I just lost it.

After a tantrum-I am ashamed to admit, that yes, I did throw a tantrum. What is a girl supposed to do in a situation like that? Just take it when your _fiancee_ is shacking up with another _guy!_?

Well, technically we were not really, truly engaged. He just put a crazily expensive wedding band around my finger two years ago, and somehow that made me think I belonged to him, and he to me.

Let this be a warning for all the lovely ladies out there. Don't give all the heart.

I am a very passive aggressive person. So by throwing a tantrum, it meant I turned around and walked out of his life.

However, I am happy to say, that I have gotten my life back on track.

Despite the constant pestering my ex-fiancee has done, I have refused him straight out. Ino even criticized me. Probably because Naurto has been pestering her, asking me to talk to him. She asked, and I quote her exact words, "Sakura, you don't leave space or second chances out for people, don't you?"

It's not that I have too much dignity to do so. It's the exact opposite. I really don't want to do so because I'm scared it will happen to me again -and that _this_ time, I won't be able to put my life back together.

Another blow came after the discovery of the affair. I was fired from the company I was interning with. I was working as a translator at Uchiha Corp, but the week after my tantrum, I was called up to my boss's boss's office, and it turned out _UchihaSasuke_ was the one who was fucking my ex-fiancee.

He is the type of person that nobody -and I meant nobody, is able to read. He is the type of person that without a doubt -is the definition of danger itself. I did not know what he called me up there for, but the moment I saw him I recognized him. Which surprised even me, because come on! All I saw of him was like his head, his upper body, and a sheet wrapping around his waist. How could I have recognized him?

Now that I think about it, it was his aura that I recognized.

He was born with this aura of authority, of power, of domination that does not take refusal or defiance lightly. So in the spirit of things, I screamed at him and yelled at him and threw his pretentious paper weight on his desk at his head and yelled, "I quit! I, Haruno Sakura, here by fucking quit! Quit! Motherfucker!"

I think he couldn't have cared less...because he looked more annoyed at his broken paper weight than at me, a screaming girl who is threatening to murder him in his sleep.

I really, really don't want to rethink back to how he looked or felt at that time. Especially, when I received a letter from his older brother to my grandmother apologizing for his brother's promiscuous behavior, and informing me politely my job is still there, if I want it back. I was _so_ close to getting a real job, after interning in that _stupid_ company for 3 three years part time.

I failed... of course.

Because of my stupid hubris, I _refuse_ to go back. Nobody can make me.

Nobody actually did. Grandmother simply folded the paper up and tsked, "Well now. Isn't that just a surprise? There's all sorts of eggs in this world."

I think the subtext behind her sentence was, "I never knew Naruto was a gay egg."

Alas, it's all in the past.

The reason I'm writing this NOW, is because something that's equally awful happened today.

I was _supposed_ to receive a call back from a series of interview I did to be a dorm resident assistant. I thought, I'm basically living at school now, why not apply to be a resident assistant, so I can watch over freshmen kids, and also live there for free? I went to the interviews and did as best as I possibly could, and they told me they would get back to me by the end of the it's Saturday night and I'm here writing stuff with a heavy heart. I didn't get their results and I secretly knew that I failed. Which is completely bullshit, because I was the best candidate out of all the other applicants. There was only three potential candidates in total. If I'm not the best, I can't be the last. So, I am the best.

Since that fell through, basically my dream of living somewhere else for the summer have just withered. I am stuck here in this old house, with my grandmother ruling over my life. I'm cutting up herbs and snipping leaves and grinding them and watching my grandmother treat patients and sometimes hear their painful screams from acupuncture. Most people take acupuncture like it's ninjas throwing stars at them, but in actuality it's a hair thin needle going into your skin. You're lucky if you even feel it.

Now, at the end of the day, with snow falling outside and the cold window pressing against my arm, I re-evaluate my feels for the first time for this past four month of so, ever since the year started... and I seriously, seriously think that...

I feel more disappointed about not living alone rather than having a gay fiancee all this time.

Did I love him?

Oh Sakura, that's a road you're not going down. Because most likely, you won't come up.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: Edited version, re-upload.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

April 20, 2013

I.

My stupid literary theory class exam is coming up. I am studying my pretty little head off. Before all that, I have been filling bits and pieces of this week into my diary, so that I can organize my thoughts and then write them down to give a complete report to my imaginary readers, who of course, love my story and writing. Because come on, it's as interesting as hell. I think it is anyway.

Ino and I were browsing through Yaoi mangas last Saturday in Chapters, the bookstore. Meanwhile, Ino was signing her name on the letter we wrote to the manager of Chapters. A complaint that prays for him to separate the yaoi manga from regular manga. We wrote it professionally, of course.

"To whom it may concern:

I have a complaint. You see in the world of manga, there are generally two types of illustrators. The ones who supports heterosexual relationships, and one that does not. Unfortunately, for those readers who are not comfortable reading homosexual manga, it becomes disturbing for us if they are mixed up on one shelf. We are not against the homosexuals, we simply would like them to be shelved on different shelves so we do not pick up a book and fall in love with it and have it turn out to be gay porn. I am extremely sorry for the trouble but legal actions will be taken if we do not reach a compromise. The following are 231 signatures of fellow Chapters' customers.

Sincerely, Not-Yaoi Fan Girls"

And the rest of the signatures are all from the yaoi fangirl's club.

We, that is Ino, Tenten and I, thought it was high time for us to separate the yaoi manga from the straight manga. While I enjoy both, after finding out my fiancee was re-enacting the exact same scene from Junjo Romantica, I decided to read more into yaoi manga to understand the psyche of my ex-fiancee and his lover. It was not the best place to study from, as I really don't know if the manga artists are kidding when they illustrate the following conversation:

Top: [grasp onto Bottom's arms and pushed him up against a wall] Running away, are you? [Cue evil smile.]

Bottom: [blushes and looks away] Let go of me~~ Let go~~

Top: [More evil smile, accompanied by a low chuckle] Mhmm... you're pink, I wonder where else you're pink... I intend to find out. I can wait to bury myself inside you~~ [Then cue squeezing and touching action].

Bottom: [Groans] You're so bad~~

And that's basically how it goes on.

I asked Ino, "Dude, add a pair of boobs to this cute little boy and it's a shojo manga."

"Boy-girl (otherwise known as BG manga) manga just doesn't cut it anymore. We want kinks, we want stimulation." Ino said. "Besides, didn't I tell you about my theory of yaoi fans?"

"You did." I rolled my eyes.

Her theory was simple. Imagine a wildly romantic movie or book. Where everything is what a girl dreamed of and wanted. The girl watching or reading it, while living her fantasy, because the male protagonist is super hot and good looking. Now, if a extremely pretty female protagonist is paired up with him, then the readers would be mad. They'd be going, "Bitch get away from ma man." If an average and plain girl got paired up with him, the readers will be outraged. "Bitch, I look better than dat!"

So the only solution is to pair up the hot guy with another man. It doesn't really matter if that man is hot or not, just as long as he's _cute_. The readers then won't have a public outcry and threaten to slaughter the author.

This was her simple theory, but she managed to write an essay on it in our Queer Theory cultural studies course.

"Besides," Ino adds. "The only true love out there is man on man love."

"How so?"

"'Cuz men don't bitch, Sakura."

I stared at her, and then said, "Ino, are you ever going to get married?"

"Of course I am." Ino said. "I'm going to marry Shikamaru, then dump him mercilessly. Then I'll date Sai. Afterwards I'll dump him too and then pair both of them up with each other."

I looked away in shame, because I did not want the passerbys to think I know this girl.

Both of us sat down in Starbucks as Ino begin to fondle the new manga series she bought. Her family is rich so she can afford them. My family isn't too bad, but I'd much rather spend my money on clothing and things that makes me prettier. Although, I can honestly say that I gave up a little after the whole fiancee fiasco. I realize no matter how much make up or brand names I buy, they would make me happy, yes, but they would not help me seduce a man who is _gay_.

"Are you thinking about Naruto again?" Ino frowned.

"No." I denied pathetically.

"I have a piece of information that might make you feel better." She whispered.

I raised my eyebrows.

"Shizune, she graduated a few years ago, and now she's the family doctor of the Uchiha." Ino looked around before whispering, "I talk to her every now and then, and guess what she told me."

"What?"

"She told me that... The younger Uchiha is not gay."

"What?" I stared at Ino. "That's impossible."

"Let me finish." Ino give me a glare. "He's not gay, but he's bisexual."

I felt a lump in my throat.

"Apparently he slept with half the town."

"So he's the type of guy that has no standards." I said, while I honestly don't know what to feel.

"Correct." Ino give me a pat on the back. "Don't worry. I -Oh, Sai's text. Look."

I looked over on her phone, the text was from Sai. He had texted, 'Ino, Sakura, help me with Prof. J. Paper due by the end of Summer.'

Ino texted back, 'Prof. J, huh. Art thy love-hole-on thy bottom-still intact?'

Sai's reply was, 'I condemn thee, thy love-hole isn't intact. Thou and thy entire family's love-hole isn't intact.'

We both were laughing our head off-except, that's when I saw Naruto's head plastered on the Starbucks's glass window. He was staring at me with such longing and guilt that I had to look away.

He didn't come in, because he knows that I have a restraining order against him. I stood up solemnly and picked up my coffee while politely asking my barista if I could leave through the back door.

II.

On Monday, I went to school to show Tsunade my research and data. She scanned it over in five minutes and asked, "Derive a thesis by the end of the week. Your research is too messy for me to tell."

She didn't slam it, so yay for me.

I was so happy I almost bounced all the way to the lab, where Ino was in her lab coat and grinding deer antlers into dust. I sat behind her and watched as she carefully calculated the exact amount on the scale and dumped it into a beaker with a boiling brown liquid.

"If I didn't know you better, I'd say you're making an aphrodisiac for men... to use against other men." I said.

She turn back to glare at me through her goggles, and said, "Who said I didn't try?"

"Did it work?"

"Ask Shikamaru."

Shikamaru is one of the main DA working along side the commissioner.

Then I decided it's probably time to get an expert opinion on this.

"So Ino, I was thinking..." I begin.

She sat down beside her boiling brown liquid.

"Do you think... Naruto is into... BDSM?" I asked.

This is the type of question that would never, ever, phase Ino. In fact she once wrote a paper on BDSM. I read it, it's quite interesting, and quite twisted.

"Naruto?" Ino thought back of her impression of him, and then shook her head, "Nah."

"How could you tell?" I asked, "I mean that guy, that Sasuke guy, he looks like a Dom."

"Sasuke?" Ino thought back, "Nah."

"How could you tell?" I glared.

"Well." Ino begin, "If they entered a Dom-sub relationship, there will be signs. Despite what you think, BDSM relationships are not_ that_ common."

Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking about, how common it is.

She then said, "Think about Naruto's family. The Uzumaki. Would they allow their son to be a sub? Besides, if something as big as this was going on between those two, I could definitely tell. Normally there's lack of nutrition, then signs of bruising in unexpected places, in more extreme cases, piercing, public humiliation, or forced orgasm. So far, I have concrete proof that Naruto doesn't even see Sasuke anymore."

"The fuck?" I asked. "How can you get in touch with the two of them?"

"My dad works in the police. Interrogation unit, duh." Ino rolled her eyes. "Tracking someone is easy."

I stared.

"Ok, I admit. I was intrigued by their relationship. Especially since Sasuke is so hot." She giggled. "I was hoping to capture the two of them on camera of video, then I would write a novel about it. Forbidden relationships -when will this pure bitter sweet torture end, ah, my poor heart..."

I don't quite know how to respond to that. Luckily, Tenten came in. She asked straight away, "How's the Chapters protest going?" Referring to our letter to the manager.

"It's going." I replied. "I don't know if Chapters will take us seriously though. Especially, when we forged like one hundredsignatures."

"They fucking better." Tenten raised her voice, "I'm tired of going to the manga section, picking up a beautifully drawn book and it turned out to be a BG manga, I mean, just shoot me!"

"I agree." Ino rolled her eyes, "I am sure if given the chance, I can convert every girl on campus to yaoi-fangirls. Then I will go on with my grand mission and convert the guys to yaoi-fanboys."

"Your only accomplishment so far is Sai... and you sort of failed. He's going out with someone and we don't even know the gender." I hide my laughter by pressing a napkin on my mouth. Because we're all girls in our glass, we all tried very hard to pressure Sai into reading yaoi books and manga. He does what we tell him to do. He _seriously_ reads them, but I have a feeling he doesn't get pleasure from it. After he finishes with them, Ino quizzes him, and he answers like he was just reading a text book.

"I'm going to be real disappointed if Sai's lover is a girl." Ino declared. "Just when you thought you know a guy for two years, he pulls a fast one on you and dates a girl. Ugh!"

Sai was just entering the lab, but upon hearing Ino's declaration, he retreated quietly and ran away.

III.

I spent the next couple of days working my ass off on my thesis. I took my work to the Starbucks in downtown during the day. There's too many crowded students in the library on campus during the day, and in downtown everyone's working in an office, so Starbucks is fairly quiet with individual secluded booths.

The booth is a magical booth. It blocks out the sounds while it gives you a superb view of the streets. And also it's the perfect distance from the door and the speakers, so it's not too cold nor too loud. Unfortunately, someone was sitting there when I approached. She's a pretty red-headed girl.

I spent three seconds to adjust my expression in the lewdest way possible, then I smiled-no, grimaced-at her and winked, "Girl, you're pretty. Gimme your number?"

"Bitch!" She yelled before taking her drink with her and ran away.

I took my booth with pride and dignity.

In truth, I was very far away from a thesis. I still have to re-organize my data and derive some sort of pattern from it. It's driving me crazy because Tsunade insisted there is more to the Styphnolobium japonicum than its sweet flavor and deliciousness. It's a salad my Grandmother makes everyday during the summer from pagoda trees. I used to hated collecting them because the petals fly everywhere. If I have to discover some sort of combination that could be potentially lethal or potentially cure cancer, I hope Tsunade doesn't expect me to do it in this life time, because I will stab myself through the-

Son of a bitch.

I looked up from my tablet and saw the Uchiha Sasuke is sitting right in front of me.

He's dressed in a tux. A fine tux. A tux I could recognize that is made from silk or some variation of. His tie seemed to be sparkling, and I realized the damned tie is criss-crossed with rose gold threads. His hair seemed to have this "just rolled out of bed" look that make it all tousled and sexy, while his eyes were fixated on me and his lips curled into a slight smile -one so slight I can't even tell if he is smiling or not. All I know is that he's not mad, but he's not happy either.

If I wasn't weak in my knees, I'd tell him, 'Bitch you stole my fiancee. Get out of my sight."

But alas, I was weak in my knees, and my brain start to hurt from his eyes, which I swore could shoot out lightening and zap me into a repeated euphoria. It was even worse when he begin to speak.

"Sakura."

I suddenly found myself staring at him and begging him to keep on talking. Talk, you son of a bitch! For the love of god say my name again, and _again,_ and **again!**

However, my pride and reason always won over my emotional desires. As I sat straight and looked back at him with cold eyes, I replied, "Uchiha, leave me alone."

"Pardon me, Sakura-san." He begin, "I would like to-"

I did not let him finish. I poured my half drank, cold green-tea latte over his suit. He was so surprised he widened his eyes for a fraction and stared at me. Using this time I packed up my crap and stuffed it into my leather bag. I have never regretted not carrying a backpack this morning more than then, and I ran out the door before he could do anything else.

It should be a fundamental law that one should not have to talk to her ex-fiancee or her ex-fiancee's lover. As both disgust me to the point that I would loose my appetite for the rest of the day. Especially, when I have tiramisu lined up in the fridge for me.

Besides, I warned him not to approach me. I told him to leave me alone.

IV.

Chapters replied, they said they will consider it.

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TBC

A/N: Re-upload, edited by InsaneScriptist. In fact most of this fic will be edited by her unless stated other wise. A thousand thankyous to her.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

April 25, 2013.

I.

Seriously? Seriously?

Is there anywhere I can go where I can get away from this Uchiha guy? He's _everywhere_!

I have been wandering around campus aimlessly because Tsunade bashed my research and said I was not working hard enough. I was so mad I stormed out despite her yelling behind me, "You have seven days to give me a decent introduction!"

I had wandered into the main hall, and found out there was a conference of some kind being held, and Uchiha Sasuke was acting as the main speaker.

The conference is surrounded by plastic sheets and dark screen filters. Hardly a state of art security system. I stumbled in somehow as quietly as I could, and I saw him speaking to the audience in an assertive manner. His eyes, however, glimpsed at me, but his gaze lifted away and he kept on talking.

I have no idea what he was talking about, no doubt something along the line of business. That's not my department, so I was technically fool. It is creepy, however, that he acted so nonchalant in this environment, as if he's born for the spot light.

As soon as he finished speaking, however, I turned away. I have a feeling that he wants to talk to me, and I have absolutely no interest in hearing what he has to say.

Little did I know, that for the next week I would almost see his face around every corner, every day.

II.

Gaara is coming to our campus on Friday!

I begged Ino to get us tickets, but she really doesn't appreciate Gaara's music. "He screams more than he sings, Sakura."

"I know. I'm not a fan of rock either. I just want to look at him."

Ino became interested. "Really? He's hot and gay?"

I did not know if he was gay or not. So I went along with it by a series of nod, "Yes, yes, yes. Please Ino, pleaseeee?"

She pondered for a moment. "Well, I am friends with our school event manager, but you must promise you have to behave. Also no fangirl-esque screaming. Also, no solicitation and embarrassing our campus."

I nodded fervently. "Can I come? Can I come? Can I come? Please? Please? Please?"

"Meow for me." She said.

"Meow, meow, me~ow." I imitated.

"I'll allow it."

III.

The day of the concert I could barely visit my lab without getting excited. Unfortunately because it's a Friday, everybody skipped except for Ari, the teenage girl who's in my class.

She tossed me a glance before getting to her work station, and from the look of it, she has a lot more done than I did. I'm skill on basic herb medicine and I bet she already finished that, skipped it over and went over to organic medicines.

There was a nice lady waiting outside our lab, so I took off my goggles and asked politely, "Excuse me, are you waiting for someone?"

"Yes, I'm waiting for Erika." She answered while smiling.

"Who?" I blinked.

She pointed to the girl inside. I stared. Ari noticed us, and she immediately spent the next ten minutes cleaning up and putting her equipments away.

"Mom!" She made a little whiny sound, which surprised even me. I have never heard this girl speak anything else other than serious tone to answer questions. This is not the extent of it, as she waved at me, "Ojii-san~!"

Her voice was so sweet I almost had a heart attack. I turned around, and then saw Uchiha Sasuke.

Immediately disgusted, I went back into the lab and completely ignoring them while drawing the blinds on the screen door so I didn't have to look at them. It wasn't until five minutes later, when I was measuring the temperature of my pot when I realized, this girl in my class is related to the Uchiha.

Damn it, how can I not notice? She had the signature Uchiha good looks, high cheek bones, clearly defined features and dark hair.

Oh my god, why is it that all aspects of my life has been tangled with them? Work, school, my social life...

Oh my god, I need to get a new social life.

IV.

It's Thursday afternoon and Ino responded to my "I need a man" text with, "Sakura, a good man is hard to find."

I reply; "One that ISNT gay."

Ino's reply was, "I'll set you up this weekend. Mind a guy in the police force?"

I giggled and texted, "I want a fireman."

Ino texted back: "Me too baby, me, freaking, too."

V.

I tentatively knocked on Tsunade's door, and she yelled, "Come in!"

I went in, and discovered, Gaara was standing there.

I almost screamed out of ecstasy. He and his red hair, his blunt eyes, his pale face and his tattoo and his leather outfit.

I opened my mouth and made a choking sound while Tsunade waved her hand, "Ah, speak of the devil. This is Sakura, Chiyo's granddaughter."

That's when I stopped choking and looked weird. How does he know my grandmother?

Gaara smirked at me. Yes, that's right, smirked. SMIRKED. Fuck, smirked. And he opened his mouth and said, "Chiyo-san once healed me by doing acupuncture..."

Tsunade then waved a hand, "Yes, she'll take you there. Gaara needs to see her today."

I swear I just died and went to heaven. He's sooooo hot, he's sooooooo hot...

Then that made me so embarrassed. I mean, I would definitely not be interested in him if he was a regular guy at our school. What is it about leather that makes a man look so much better than they're supposed to? Or rather, it's the fame attached, isn't it? I was then reminded of a question online, it basically went along the lines of, "If you had the choice of spending a night with any celebrity you choose and have your way with him/her, or not spend the night but make the public think you did, what would you choose?"

Shamelessly, I would definitely say the latter. Because like, yeah, obviously.

Wait, the idea of having Gaara as a sex slave sounds equally pleasing... Ugh, ugh, ugh, dirty mind! Dirty Sakura mind! Ew, ew, ew-

"Sakura! Sakura!"

Tsunade was yelling at me. I blinked and focused on her, "Yes, ma'am?"

She give me a look, "What are you here for?"

"Oh right, my introduction." I pulled it out of a folder for her.

She looked towards Gaara and said, "This will be just a while."

He made no indication of hearing her as he looked out the window down towards our campus. Tsunade has a great window. Not the view as it wasn't the best, but, the window, because she has known to break her window at least twice a year.

She scanned over my introduction in a few minutes, then started scribbling, and immediately all I saw were little red marks all over my paper. Geez, it's only the introduction! For heavens sakes, there are like a thousand mistakes on it! I don't think Ieven have a thousand words. I stared as she circled and crossed out various lines and then added footnotes beside them which I KNOW I can't read because her writing is just abysmal.

Her eyes met mine as she finished and give general comments, "More specific, and damn it, Sakura, are you in grade school!? Can't you tell the difference between a split infinitive and proper preposition!? I thought you majored was in lit."

I cowered and nod, "Yes, yes, Tsunade-san."

"Off you guys go." She waved her hand.

And Gaara turned towards me and asked, "Shall we go? I need to see Chiyo-sama."

I was surprised he used the honourific. I don't even use it in front of my grandmother. Then again, she's my _grandmother_.

When we got into the hall way, someone was leaning against the wall waiting for us. And he's-oh my god, another Gaara. Except with softer features.

"Sasori." Gaara said to him.

"Gaara." The man replied. "Itachi asked me to speak to you."

I stared as they both exchanged a look and Gaara turned to me, "Do you mind if you give me a minute?"

I shook my head as I stepped away from them and told them, "I'll be just around the corner."

What surprised me around the corner made me wish that I hadn't stepped out of Tsunade's office. It just so happens that Minato-sama is right there, talking with Sarutobi-sama.

Sarutobi-san is like, Kami, in our eyes. He is the essence of knowledge itself. I daresay he knew Einstein, and he knew Edison, and he probably watched over Shakespeare wrote his plays. That's how ancient he is. But he seemed like he knows absolutely everything, and he is immersed in like.. all areas of knowledge. I wrote my paper on his idea of queer theory in my LGBT class, and I also saw him counting different species of turtles in Konoha Zoo. He is so humble, too, with a likable personality. It's because nobody dared to be NOT humble in front of him. And he left a bunch of legacies that is just... amazing. He trained so many Academics which I look up upon with awe. Like Tsunade-san. And... he trained my ex-fiancee's dad. Minato-san. Whom I chat with rarely during the past two years whenever we visit Naruto's parents' house.

It's weird, because Minato resembles Naruto in so many ways. They look exactly alike, but somehow he's so much more likable in my eyes. Not to mention that he is our mayor. I was actually surprised that he didn't send a threatening letter to make me shut up about Naruto's sexuality. Something, by the way, I might need to ask if I ever find the strength to speak to him without punching him in the face. I think it's a pretty massive blow to his ego already... the fact that I put an restraining order on-

"Sakura-chan." Minato saw me.

I stuttered. "M...Minato-sama, Sarutobi-sama, how is Kushina-chan, I mean, Kushina-sama?"

And he smiled warmly at me, "We're all good. How are you?"

"I'm good too." I managed to squeak out.

By then Gaara had walked up beside me. He looked at us with a musing expression, then he nodded towards the two of them as a sign of recognition. "Let's go," he said to me.

I squeaked a little and then followed.

VI.

Fucking hell, because of Naruto and his family, I lost the chance of swooning over Gaara since my head was spinning around him all the time. He put his motorcycle helmet on when we're in public. Then he took us back to my house on his bike. I thought it was a couch by itself.

I walked in and yelled, "Grandma! I'm home!"

She was in the kitchen making hot potato soup. She saw Gaara and her eyes were suddenly filled with worry, "What's the matter? Does it hurt again?" Then she waved at me, "Sakura, be a dear and give us some space."

I was already on it, because I was texting Ino, "Oh my god, guess what, guess what?"

Ino texted back. "Is Gaara in your house right now?"

I texted her again. "How the freak did you know?"

Ino replied. "I'm in a party. I overheard Kakashi and the Uchiha talking about Gaara. He has a condition, I think. Something like a back pain and he needs Chiyo-sama's treatment."

I was just about to reply that I felt bad, my phone bleeped and Ino texted again, "Don't worry though, he can still have sex."

I wanted to shake her.

I went into the kitchen and drank some potato soup. It tasted good. I wonder if I can make as many delicious dishes as grandma does when she's gone. I wish I can keep her at the same age and that she would always remain alive, even after I'm dead. Besides, I comfort myself with the fact that she knows so much about herbs and medicine, it practically makes her invincible.

That's when Tenten texted me, "I have an job opportunity for you!"

I was excited, so I texted a series of exclamation and questions marks.

Then she replied, "It's in an art gallery. It's sort of like an receptionist. Interview's on Monday!"

Yay! I love art! I love movies and paintings. Besides, literature is closely related to art. I was so happy that I did a jumping jack. Pardon my grace, I more or less hopped up and down and clapped my hands together like an idiot. After making sure no one was watching, I settled down and asked for the address and exact date.

Huh, turns out this gallery is right beside a Starbucks. Could this, BE, anymore perfect? Finally I will have money to spend! Not just allowance from my grandmother, which I haven't taken in about three years. Before that I was spending Naruto's money, which is why I have a closet full of designer crap and not an actual penny to my name.

You know, I read really cheesy romantic books too. They usually involve like a girl who is poor but beautiful, and falls in love with a rich billionaire who thinks she is the gift from the heavens above. Usually in those books the girl asserts their independence by firmly placing their food down and saying. "Bitch, I ain't spending a penny that belongs to you." It thenbecomes a running gag, well I _think_ it's a gag. Most girls probably think it's a custom that the guys force their money over her and shower her with riches and all the pretty things money can buy.

The point is, in the end the girl takes the gifts anyway. Because the guy bribes them with sex. Ahem, ahem, sound familiar? Fifty shades of XXX. XX Flight. XSX's rapture...

Then I wonder, if things like that are ever going to be in true in real life. How many girls would actually resist that much money and material pleasure? Even if they did, would it last? The point is, I didn't ask for money from Naruto. He understood,and he just opened up a credit account for me and no more words on that subject were needed. Now that we've broken up, I still have the card and I sorely miss using it. Now, using it AFTER our breakup, that would be a bitch thing to do. Beyond,actually pretending that you have a little moral righteousness when you're fucking the guy and resisting his gifts to manipulate him into doing and thinking whatever you want him to think you are? Besides if you're an author writing about cheesy romantic novels, I don't think you're in a place to be _that_ morally elevated.

Huh, did I just slam myself. I'm writing cheesy romantic fiction too. Eh. I'm allowed to be hypocritical.

I had a serious in-depth conversation with Ino about this. She just said mostly it's because the girls wanted to feel good about themselves. Not like a whore. Based from a historical perspectives, prostitution is among one of the oldest professions in the world, if not the oldest. Then it's just a matter of, "If you're judging her/him, then most likely you're a stuck up bastard/bitch with no right to." In actuality, if I did became friends with a gold-digger, I'd probably get into a serious discussion with her about who is the most eligible bachelor in town.

Probably Naruto and his whore.

Wait, that's just _not fair!_ I know for a fact that Naruto's family is loaded. I know for a fact that Uchiha are loaded. What the hell man, what the hell? It should defy the rules of nature for two families with equal riches to get together and have an alliance. Not so much laws of nature, now that I think about it. Well, it definitely defies the contemporary romantic novel notions.

Note to self, tell Ino to start a petition against rich-rich couples. Rich-poor couples only. Come on, rich people. Even out the economy for us.

Yeah, I definitely need a job.

VII.

Concert was amazing. I got drunk and had to be sent home by a cab of some sort. I had a dream about Naruto and Ino getting into an argument on who is going to escort me home. Forgot who won. Maybe it's not a dream.

Gaara should scream less.

VII.

Chapters called, and they agreed to separate yaoi manga from straight manga. Fuck yeah, bitches! Although I think it's due to Ino's family influence more than anything. Mhmm... something to think about.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: I wish my life is this interesting.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

May 7, 2012.

I.

Officially announcing I am staying sober for the rest of the year. Head hurts, fingers... can't type up shit. I wish I can have a golden feather quill and a sex toy to play with.

II.

What the fuck man, I just read my last entry and I think I was on drugs or still drunk. I look it over again and decide drunk.

Why is it that whenever I upload my last entry I set it up in a way that it prevents me from ever changing it? AHHH! Must put password safety over my digital diary. Alas, if Ino ever sees this, she'll never let me live it down.

The most amazing and embarrassing thing happened at last week during the concert while I was drunk.

Well first of all, Ino came into Starbucks on Sunday and asked me how is it going with my interview on Monday. I answered great, and then asked her to pay for my coffee. Because obviously, I'm broke. Then she tossed me this look that showed great disdain but had no choice because she loved me like she loved her pet -and flicked her finger on her credit card and said, "Mhmm.. I am never taking you to a concert again."

"Why?" I asked, busy eying her crystal bracelet. I think one of the beads can feed me and my doppelganger for a week.

"Because you embarrassed the fuck out of me." Ino told me.

I was surprised.

Then she retold me of how it went. Apparently it went like this, and Ino swore she was not exaggerating. I'm not sure if I believe her, but the facts fit. So embarrassing.

The concert was awesome. We were drinking and screaming and yelling. By the end, Ino had somehow gotten us back stage passes, and the two of us went back stage.

Gaara was unavailable at the time, because he was banging a groupie. That's what Ino said anyway. She explained that she can hear screaming and groaning from inside the room, while she fed me cakes and grapes and some breaded stuff. She was being smart. I was drunk to the point of dancing on the table and yelling, "Get the fuck out here Gaara, grandmother said you can't have sex!"

At this point I banged my head on the coffee table and spilled some coffee.

Ino gave me a look and continued on.

So Gaara came out, and looking hot as hellfire. Apparently he doesn't look like some guy who had sex, because he was calm and he asked us how we're doing. Ino answered fine, so at no point in this story had Ino acted like a fool. During the entire time she was as graceful as a princess while I was like a drunken bear. I slouched up to Gaara and asked if he could sign my boob-

"Hold up, hold up." I raised a hand and glared at her. "Seriously?"

Ino shrugged, "Boob, shirt, potato, potahto."

And Gaara was nice enough to sign it. No wonder I woke up with a shirt full of ink. I must've got water on them and he used non-permanent marker.

Damn him.

Anyways so he signed it. And then that's when I saw something extremely embarrassing. I leaned up against him and giggled, "I don't like your music at all, Gaara."

Ino was about to drag me away, but I put my arms around Gaara's neck and whined, "I really don't like your music, it's to~o loud, it's too lo~ud."

And Gaara looked mildly bemused. He didn't ask me to get the fuck out, because he asked me gently, "What kind of music do you like?"

At this point in the story I bolted right up from my coffee seat and hissed, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Ino, tell me I did NOT answer that question!"

She blew on her coffee. "You did. Sorry. I tried everything to drag you away."

Which probably meant she was laughing her head off.

But back to the story.

And I answered. "Classic Jazz."

He was surprised. But he pushed me off of him and the grabbed onto his guitar. The whole room was quiet as he asked if I had any requests. I answered, "I want to hear... I wish you love."

So he drank some honey lemon tea (Ino was unpredictably specific) and begin.

I wish you blue birds, in the spring  
To give your heart, a song to sing  
Then a kiss, more than this  
I wish you love.

In July, a lemonade  
To cool you in some leafy glade  
I wish you health, and more than wealth  
I wish you love

Ino then described in very specific detail that I was singing along, completely out of tune. Fortunately I was singing in a low whisper so it didn't affect her appreciation of Gaara actually singing jazz, which probably will never actually happen again.

My breaking heart, and I agree  
That you and I, will never be  
So with my best,  
My very best,  
I wish you love.

And at this point, Ino said I was bawling my head off and tissues are flying everywhere.

Then she cleared her throat and said, "Oops. I forgot to mention. Your ex-fiancee was there."

I almost reached over the coffee table and grabbed onto her neck, "What?! WHAT!?"

She tossed me a look then said, "Oh, I didn't tell you? Naruto was there the whole time. He's friends with Gaara. He was standing in the corner. We just didn't see him."

"He isn't the guy Gaara was having sex with, was he?" I asked suspiciously.

Ino's eyes sparkled a little, then dimmed, "Damn it. I don't know. I forgot."

"I thought you were sober and graceful at the same time."

"I was. I have selective memory loss."

"Since when!?"

"Since last Friday!" She glared, not wanting to admit that she had probably been tipsy by that point too.

I quickly piped down, and she continued.

So Gaara finished the song, and I was dragging on his sleeve and guitar while crying my head off. That's when Naruto came and tried to stabilize me. I was too busy crying, and Ino stood up and defended me by insisting that I can't go home with him. He assured her that he won't do anything, but Ino slapped him across the face, and that's when I jumped up and bit Ino.

"No freaking way." I said, disbelieving that I'd do that to her.

Ino rolled up her sleeve and showed me the bite mark. Son of a bitch. She wasn't lying.

After that, Gaara settled this by sending each of us home in a cab.

When the story finished. Ino eyed me in an accusing way. I quickly pleaded, "I'm sorry. I was drunk, I don't know what I was thinking. I'm so sorry!"

"Damn right." Ino said, "Imagine telling Gaara you don't like his music! And jazz! Are you from the fifties?"

"..."

I turned back to my tablet and decided talking with Ino is like talking to a vain white arctic fox.

I stood up and was about to go on campus, Ino yelled, "Sakura! I forgot! I was supposed to fix you up with a blind date!"

"This weekend works." I answered.

She beamed.

III.

The interview was... eventful.

I was sitting down and chatting with this very nice elderly lady, who, upon first glace, I could tell is very knowledgeable in things like art and art history. Anyways, I was extremely nervous and tried to answer all of the questions asked to the best of my ability -that is, until suddenly, I saw that lady who was standing outside of our lab the other day came into my interview room.

She seriously doesn't look that much older than me. My interviewer bowed to her, "Uchiha-san, we were just conducting..."

I didn't hear anything else after that, because my head was filled with the words, "Uchiha-san, Uchiha-san, Uchiha-san..."

No freaking way that the Uchiha has someone like that in their family! What the hell? She's so gentle and looks so kind! I mean, unless the Uchiha saved the nation in their previous life, they're damned for eternity. Therefore this good lady could NOT have been a part of Uchiha...

She turned to me and greeted me formally. Then she said, "I recognize you. You're in Erika's research group, are you not?"

I wanted to roll my eyes and choke. Her daughter must've been like... I don't know, fourteen years old? And she's in the same lab as me -a twenty-two year old.

"Um..." I said.

Then she said something even more shocking, "I'm sorry. I forgot. Are you the Sakura that my brother-in-law mentioned? You broke off your engagement because of him?"

That's when my first impression is that she's either really evil or has no tact at all. I cleared my throat and said, "I didn't do it because of him. I'm not in love with him or anything..."

She chuckled and hid her lips behind her sleeve, "I see."

Well obviously she fucking doesn't. So I said coldly, "Uchiha Sasuke was fucking my fiancee, and that's why I broke my engagement. Yes, your brother-in-law is a whore and a slut and there's a special place in hell reserved for people like him."

If I have known that she's going to repeat those words word for word to her husband, who in turn, used it to mock his brother, I would've never said it. I was not thinking, and I did not know that she'd do such a thing! Therefore, I did not care for the consequences and I turned around and left. Naturally bombing the interview.

IV.

When I got home, Gaara was finishing up his session. Apparently he was sitting in the gardens enjoying his butter and squash soup with a piece of toasted mix grain bread and a handful of baby asparagus. I blushed seven shades of red after spotting him, and he must've noticed, because he tried to smile warmly at me.

I swear his face is NOT meant for smiling. What the hell!? I almost had a heart attack from shock. He must be one of those people who looks the best when he scowls, or when he acts cool. I imagine it must be strenuous, to always scowl in his line of work. Maybe he needs acupuncture needles on his face.

I bowed to him and said, "Thank you very much for last Friday. Pardon my behavior -you didn't tell grandmother I was drunk, did you?"

"Of course not." He said while trying to stop me from bowing again. "Please, no need for formalities."

"Are you in town for long?" I asked.

"Oh, you don't know." Gaara smiled, "I live in Konoha, actually. I was finishing my tour. Most people doesn't know I live here."

"Huh." I was surprised. But then Grandmother yelled, "Sakura, is that you? Where are my Matcha tea powder!"

I quickly bowed to Gaara again, "Coming, Grandmother!"

When I brought the green tea to her patient room, however, I was surprised. There's a man lying on the table, and I _know_him. That was the surprise.

Oh my god! I _know_ him. I know him! It's Kimimaro-senpai!

"Senpai!" I gasped.

He opened his eyes and turned his head slightly to look at me. He looks a bit pale and sick, but he smiled at me and said, "Ah, Sakura, is it?"

That's when Grandmother came in and grabbed the teabag, "Off you go, Sakura. I heard from Tsunade you can't identify Glycyrrihiza uralensis in her cabinet. What an embarrassment!"

I argued, "I can tell what it is if its alive! We have some in the back garden. She had ground it and dried it and I-"

She did this dismissive wave which I know it meant I might as well not even bother to explain. I left.

My head was filled with Kimimaro-senpai. When we were in Konoha Academy, he was "the" senpai. The guy that everybody in school wanted to get close to. I don't think I've heard of anyone that famous in school since Uchiha Itachi, or Kakashi sensei, or Minato-san...

Well the point it, the generation of popular guys just keeps appearing. There's one every few years.

He knows how to play seven instruments, speaks four languages fluently, and was excellent in sports. He was like, our idol. I admit I had the craziest crush on him -then again, so did everybody else. He has this way that just... just looks right into your heart and you just melt.

He hugged me once, because we've been going to the same school for like fucking 8 years, and it was during one of his piano concerts, I think. I sat at the front row, and he came down from the stage to converse with the audience. I couldn't even speak properly because I was blubbering nonsense. He recognized me and asked which university I went to. Then we hugged, and he moved onto the next fan.

I almost swooned. He was perfect, he was absolutely perfect.

Even Ino thinks so, and with her background, she rarely gives out perfect "tens." She often uses him as a archetype which Shikamaru was measured against.

Note to self, ask Grandma why is senpai here.

V.

Hmph. Even though it's Friday, I don't feel the joy.

I had a fight today.

And nobody would ever guess who I had it with.

Ok, it's Hinata. Freaking Hinata. _Hinata_!

Why, you would ask? Why!?

Well it all started innocent.

I was finishing my morning research, which, just consist of me watching my lab, measuring and grinding some leaves, pan-baking some branches, and mixing some herbs. I swear sometimes the stuff I do is witch craft! This is so much harder than Lit. No wonder I finished Lit. a year ago and I'm still stuck with this.

Anyways I put my stuff away, and then took at one look at Erika, who, upon first glance, looked innocent and cute. I shudder when I think of her family. She met my eye, and since I totally didn't want to talk to her, I bolted.

I was walking out of the traditional medicine building when I saw Hinata standing beside a pillar with her folders. She's taking business with fine arts on the side. She too, has been a victim of family oppression. Unlike me, however, she is rich, like Ino. I still feel pity for her because of her cuteness and shyness.

She said hello, and I replied, inviting her to coffee. It was just a formality because I totally wanted to do this wholecontemplating-on-life-while-drinking-latte-an d-staring-into-the-distance thing alone, but she accepted my offer, so then I hada coffee buddy.

We sat down and I ordered my usual green-tea latte, and she ordered a sunrise coffee. Which, actually, was the most expensive bean on the menu. I did not know that at the time until they give me the bill later. Bitch.

She begin by asking about my research.

"Oh it's going good." I then spent five minutes talking about how annoying it is.

She then asked about my life.

"Oh it's fine." I then talked about going to Gaara's concert. Which was so _fun_.

Her eyes sparkled with slight envy, "I heard Naruto-kun also went."

"Oh? I didn't notice." I tried very hard not to cringe at the name, and I didn't succeed.

She, as if catching onto an opportunity, she immediately asked, "Sakura-chan, why don't you talk to Naruto-kun?"

I was surprised at the question, well because first of all. This week seemed to be all about "Let's mention to Sakura how she was cheated on by two guys" week. And second of all, it's none of her businessssss...

Whoa, typed why too many "s"s there. Don't feel like correcting that. I think I made my point clear.

An epiphany just dawned upon me in Starbucks. I know she loved him, but to act this way... Is it jealousy?

Anyways, she continued, "Naruto-kun has prayed for your forgiveness. He really wanted to talk to you and explain things, and you haven't spoken to him in at least half a year."

I continue to stare at her.

"He's miserable, Sakura-chan." Hinata said, her eyes sparkling with water, "I just... I wish you guys could sort all this out-"

"But I want him to suffer." I said shamelessly, thus proving that I too, am an awful human being. "It's the only proof of him that he's a decent guy. If he feels nothing towards me and continued to live his life, he is just-"

That's when Hinata lost it. She raised her voice which I think is yelling in her world, "Sakura-chan! You can't be this cruel! Naruto-kun cared a great deal for you, and it's killing him that you still haven't forgive him!"

"Isn't that just sad." I said coldly.

She actually shivered. Or trembled. Anyways her lips were quivering, "But he's miserable! Sakura-chan, he's wasted, and he's nothing! We all didn't tell you because we know that you don't like to mention him, but Sakura-chan, he's been very sad and he's bordering on depression-"

"Hinata." I tried to reason with her, but now that I think about it's it's probably completely me, reasoning with myself on how pathetic and pitiful I am, and how I should just hate the world and let the world think what an awful thing happened to me. "I swear, I think it would be better if you leave this be. It's none of your business."

That just set her off. She actually stood up and pointed at me with her hands shaking, "Sel...sel..."

I had to lean in and listen to her.

"Selfish!" She finally blurted out.

The word gutted me open life a knife. Probably because deep inside, I know it to be true.

She then said, "You're selfish, Sakura-chan! You enjoy the feeling of self pity, and you love to wallow in your own grief! You would think it's romantic, and suppose you write stories about it, and suppose you mention to everyone you know and they feel sorry for you-"

Well. Isn't that just a kick in the nuts?

But knowing me, I showed my ugliest side when I'm mad, and I was mad at Hinata. Yeah I'm still mad.

I was freaking angry and insane. So I said with a voice that could freeze hell over, "You loved him while we were engaged, Hinata."

Annnnd her face went white. Like a sheet.

"You loved him back then." I continued. "You think I don't know, you think nobody knew, but everybody knew, Hinata. Yes, it's so fucking obvious it's embarrassing. You had your eyes on a man who was about to be married. At least Uchiha Sasuke acted on his own slut-instinct, but you, you are a bitch."

Swearing was not a quality of mine that I was proud of.

I could see tears in her eyes as she turned around and ran out.

Perhaps it really does make me an awful person when I felt better that she was crying.

I didn't cry, though. Fuck that. I finished my latte and then roamed around the streets while thin sheets of rain floated down from the sky.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: Believe it or not, the last part happened in real life. Different circumstances but basically the same thing. Two girls cat fight over a guy. Shameful, really

I apologize for any Hinata fans in this story. She is not portrayed in a heroic light. But she isn't bad-she's just a girl who fell in love.

Ultimately she's a very sad character.

I'm uploading this chapter because I'm so happy that exams has finished for me.

Many thanks to InsaneScriptist, my beta. She's wonderfully efficient.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

May 14th, 2013

I.

Despite all that shit has happened last Friday, I was dragged to the blind date on the weekend. When I first saw who it was, I almost had an heart attack.

Whoa, a habit of heart attacks lately.

It was Neji.

That was not good, consider how I am still recovering from his cousin's harsh blows. Although I think I landed the final blow on her. I don't quite know how to feel about that. It makes me mad if I say that I feel sorry for her. It also makes me guilty to say that I don't. So I try not to think about it.

Then it doesn't seem like he knows anything, because after we exchanged some small talk he asks, "Sakura, do you know if anything has happened to Hinata-san? She was unusually unhappy this weekend."

I was like, what, is my presence as your date not interesting enough?

Then I thought, that this meant that Neji doesn't know what happened to Hinata then. Hinata didn't tell him? I was under the impression that she tells him word for word, like practically every single thing that has ever happened to her.

Hmph, this just makes me mad. Well I didn't tell anyone either, but the nerve of her! Ok, just the fact that she's not telling anybody makes me a bit mad. I don't know why.

I narrowed my eyes and stared into the eyes of the Hyuuga pillar. He is known for his intelligence and passive emotions. What if he's testing me? It doesn't really matter if she did tell him or not, because he will undoubtedly side with her, and therefore will give me a hard time.

I opened my mouth, but closed them again. I was trying to think of something clever to say, but failed. The fact of the matter is, there is nothing clever I could say against this person. He's like an Uchiha. He lies for a living. He hides, deceives, and he lays traps and waits for people to jump in.

So I decided that's it. The date's over. I stood up and getting ready to scream at Ino.

He immediately tried to stop me. "Sakura-chan!"

I turned back, because it's common curtsey.

"I was simply worried, and you're friends with her. I don't mean anything else." He said.

Just then, a guy with brown hair walked up to me and asked, "Sakura?"

I stared at him.

He took my reaction as a yes, because he smiled sweetly at me, "I'm Kiba, your date."

This caused me to spin so fast to stare at the Hyuuga behind me, who smiled at me apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how else I would get your attention. It just so happens I'm also dining here tonight."

In a Boston Pizza? DoHyuuga even care to enter the doors? Wouldn't that filthy up their golden shoes?

He clearly saw my disdain, because he frowned slightly, then reverted back to a passive expression and nodded at us both. "Enjoy your date. Kiba, Sakura."

I didn't say anything because I was still mad.

So Kiba and I saw down, we both ordered. I was already famished and when I'm angry, my hunger gets even worse. This is infuriating, because Kiba begin by, "Sakura-chan, you look chubbier than the last time I saw you."

I stared.

He then said, "Remember? Back when we were still in our final year. In Konoha Academy?"

That was almost 6 years ago, but I nodded and smiled politely.

He said, "I heard you went on to study literature? And now you're in meds?"

"Yes." I said with dignity, because to most people, it's very difficult. "What do you do?"

"Oh, I'm a fireman." He smiled.

I wanted to choke Ino, but then I doubted his badge's validity. So I narrowed my eyes and asked, "Realllly?"

"Of course." He showed me his badge. Apparently a fireman is not supposed to leave anywhere without a badge.

"Wow." I said.

He grinned at me, "I didn't know if that trick still worked. Normally girls are more lenient on me when I tell them I'm a fireman."

I stared.

Then he straightened up and said, "I really want to impress you."

Finally I smiled. He looks like someone that is really nice, really caring, a bit untactful, but overall a nice guy. Comparing him to Neji, who is as slippery as a snake, I'd take Kiba any day.

Then we got into normal everyday conversations. He asked me about my research, and I asked him about his hobbies. Turns out he loves dogs, and he trained a police force dog to detect any signs of crime or criminal activities. The dog is now inseparable from him, and he was planning on going to get him a few treats later.

Animal lover. Nice, nice.

Then at desert, he confessed something to me. "You might not remember this, but we met a couple of times, when you were still with... Naruto."

I did not remember that. So I look at him with surprise. He hurriedly and explained, "It was-It was just a few times. When we were at group hang outs. You were always talking with the girls, so we didn't get a chance to talk anyways."

I lowered my head, "I feel uncomfortable in group hangouts talking with strangers in public surroundings."

He then grinned, "Me too! But that's not what I was referring to. It's just. I know about you. I... I do."

I raised an eyebrow.

"No, really! I think you're really smart, and sometimes you don't hesitate to show it, but you're so smart that it makes me feel... bad." Kiba said.

I widened my eyes, "I... no, I'm not, I-"

"Yes." He persisted. "I know. Because I heard you were talking about something. I think it has something to do with colors of fireworks and each chemical that one would mix in to create different colors. And you were the only one who listed the correct formula for a rainbow firework. It's difficult, because nobody knew the chemical for orange fire."

"But... orange fire IS fire." I stared. "Just add water.. H2O..."

"Yes, it was common sense, but your brain got there the fastest. And then later when you talked about something else, and you compared our society and the police force with a pan... pan something."

"Panopticon." I finished. It's a prison. I wrote a thesis on it.

"Yes, I thought it was brilliant. And you even further explained rather it's a glass panopticon, because of how evolved we are... in social media and stuff."

I blushed.

"At that moment, I thought you were too good for Naruto, or anybody, in fact." He whispered.

Okay, this probably just made my week. I kept myself busy by digging into the cheesecake while blushing seven shades of red.

Overall, it was a very nice date, and we exchanged phone numbers and agreed to do this again next weekend.

II.

"Whoa, you really do have a type, don't you." Ino said to me. "Look at Kiba. He's like, another version of Naruto."

"What the heck? No! He's so much more..." I lost the word, so I squeezed out a generic description. "Nice."

She rolled her eyes, "Naruto is the epitome of nice, dude. You go for people who worships the road you walk on, huh?"

I couldn't think of a comeback, so I glared at her. She hushed me and hugged me as a peace offering sign. I immediately forgave her. Then I said, "Well, you have a type too."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You fall for those who are smarter than you." I said.

She laughed, "I think Shikamaru is smarter than most people..."

Well that is true, I'll give him that. It's not normal for a guy to have an above average intellect but is still so lazy. I mean, there are geniuses who worked hard to get to where they are now because they crave power, or money, or "the good for humanity." Then there are geniuses like Shikamaru who doesn't give a...

I then changed the topics and told her about Kimimaro-senpai. Ino apparently remembers him too.

"I tried to seduce him once." She recalled fondly.

I stared at her because I think it's a defilement of the incarnation of a god like senpai.

"I didn't have the heart. He's like an grown angel." She said, and sighed. "He's so... pale and white and perfect."

"My thoughts exactly." I replied. "Thank god you didn't do it. I wouldn't forgive you, especially when he has this illness now."

She was more interested in the illness. She raised her eyebrow and forced me to tell her about it in as much specific details as possible.

"Are there symptoms?"

"Not much. I mean, unless you count pale skin." I said. "It's normally just my grandmother poke holes in them with her needles. I don't know much else."

Ino then looked very suspicious and curious at the same time. Which made me press her for information. "Whatever the hell you're thinking, you better tell me!"

She flipped her hair and squeezed out a smile, "No, I... It's just..."

"Oh for god's sakes, just tell me, I will keep a secret!" I swore. "I swear to god, I will."

She blinked a few times, then gestured, "Come here."

We're sitting in the lab alone, and there really isn't anything to fear jumping out at us or eavesdropping on our Ino's paranoid nature, I leaned closer anyways.

"Well." She begin. "Do you know this guy called, Orochimaru?"

"Do I!? Do I?" I exclaimed.

She glared, "Well? Do you!?"

"No I don't." I said.

She rolled her eyes.

"Well. He's this... He runs a criminal organization. I don't exactly know how or why or when, but he exists. He... he got into this habit of employing young and genius boys to do his bidding." She whispered.

I was dumbstruck. "What? Like a pedophile?"

"No you idiot!" Ino glared at me harder, then listed examples. "Biddings are like, running drug rings, fight clubs, underground gambling etc. Anything that makes money. Dude..."

I went silent for a few moments to process this information. After that, I exhaled. "Wow."

"Yeah." She said. "Wow."

"So what's that got to do with Kimimaro-senpai? Is he part of... ahem. Orochimaru's posse?" I raised my suspicion.

She shook her head. But then thought about it, and nodded. "Well, I heard from dad that Kimimaro-san was employed under Orochimaru... But ..."

"But?" I pressed further.

"So were the Suna twins."

"The what?" I was dumbfounded.

"The twins! Gaara and Sasori." She used her knuckle to knock on my forehead.

"Oh shit!" I gasped. "They were? Not anymore, though, right?"

"Right. Not anymore." Ino replied, "The problem is, Orochimaru is a very cruel and sinister dude. I heard from my father's conversation with the commissioner that Orochimaru used a poison with all his minions. Or, at least on some of them. It's a dosage that need to be accumulated over time. Kimimaro-san is the unluckier of the few. He had been employed by Orochimaru for a while. Unlike Gaara, who got out just in time not to have a fatal illness. Sasori got out way before then."

"Got out?" I asked, a bit skeptical.

"I know, don't ask me. The point is, they're not working for him anymore, but I'm fucking sure that Orochimaru and his organization still exists. That's why Kakashi-san couldn't return home after regular work hours. He has so much shit on his hands that he had to clean up after Orochimaru."

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Yeah." Ino sighed. "Your grandmother have been trying to cure Kimimaro for years at least."

I sighed. "This is so messed up."

"Tell me about it." Ino leaned back on the lab bench and got out her cellphone. "Let's go home. I think I've already drained all my brain juices for today."

"Mhmm." I replied. But was then reminded, "Oh, I gotta tell you, I screwed up with my interview."

"I know." Ino put on her coat and her scarf. "Tenten told me."

"She did? I feel awful, but I can't believe that a Uchiha owned that gallery."

"Why are you surprised. Uchiha own most of the crap in this city, other than public government properties."

I didn't reply. Instead I bit my lip and followed Ino out of the lab. When we were almost at the parking lot, I was reminded, "You said Orochimaru runs a criminal organization. Is he in alliance with the Uchiha?"

"Not anymore." Ino opened the door to her car. "Uchiha Itachi was part of Akatsuki, but he wasn't owned by Orochimaru. He got out like he walked in. No strings."

"How is that possible?" I asked, my eyes widened.

"I don't know." Ino shrugged. "Then again, if anyone can battle against Orochimaru, it'd be Itachi."

"Why did he get out?" I asked, curious.

"He met his future wife." Ino give me a look before pressing on the gas pedal.

III.

After learning shocking information about our city and our society, I was not in a good mood for the rest of the day. One of the perks of being the daughter of a cop must mean that you learn more things that you'd care to know, like Ino.

I was so ignorant up until now, and I have no idea that our city is actually this messy. I thought people like Kakashi kept it in such spic and span that only petty crimes exist. Since I have never been in the circle of things, I must've never realized the potential harm this Orochimaru character could cause.

Then I researched everything Ino said online, and as it turned out what she said are mostly true. I didn't know what I expected. There was no way that she'd lie about stuff like that for fun. What came as truly shocking to me, even after everything I found out today, was that Orochimaru was actually a _student_ of_ Sarutobi-san_. He's actually in the same year as Tsunade and Jiraiya-san, and both of them are like gods to me. I can believe this criminal was known to be in the same class with gods.

Then I ran to grandmother, who was burying herself in a huge medical book. She didn't even look up when I entered. I asked right away. "Grandma, you know.. Um. Kimimaro-senpai's illness. Will he get better?"

She then raised her head to look at me. I stared right back.

She calmly replied, "I don't know."

My head raised and I stared at her. "But Grandma!"

"There are things in life which medicine and needles can't cure, you know that." She told me. "Your Kimimaro-senpai has one of them."

I turned away from her and felt awful. "Where is he?"

"He's returning for a session tomorrow. He's going to have sessions every day." She replied.

I ran back to my room like a teenager, and my mind was filled with images of his pale face clinging to life.

Maybe I should pursue traditional medicine extensively. Just to treat people around me.

IV.

I saw Gaara the next day. I skipped classes and went to the mall. There wasn't going to be actual lecture classes anyways. We were just measuring the plants and jotting down data. I texted Ino asking her to do it, and she texted Tenten pleading her to do it for the two of us. Apparently Ino is also playing hooky today.

I went to the mall near downtown, there's a huge garden on the top floor where its usually quiet on the weekdays because most people are at work. Next to a quiet coffee shop, this is my second favorite place to be.

I love places with leaves. Green relaxes me somehow. Which is probably why I love Starbucks so much. That, and the fact that there was one time when I was a teenager when my grandmother banned me from ever drinking anything Starbucks related. For a kid who just had her first vanilla bean frappchino, I was very mad and desperate. When I finally had my own financial ability to afford coffee, I've been running to Starbucks ever since.

Gaara was at the entrance of an motorcycle shop, and a groups of girls were crowding around him, asking for autographs. He had been quite patient and understanding, as he signed each and everyone, and took a photo with them. Then he bowed and bid them goodbye. I sat on a near by bench and stared at him for a long time. He turned around and saw me.

I smiled. He put on his helmet and gestured for me to come over.

"I'm going to your house for a session." He told me. Then he asked, "Would you like me to give you a lift?"

I looked around and realized it's the middle of the afternoon, and slowly kids are pouring in to the mall. Might as well.

"Alright." I said.

I couldn't tell his expression because he's wearing a helmet, but he gestured, "Follow me."

I followed him.

Even though I know jack squat about motorcycles, I realize what he's riding is a rare and very expensive kind. So I tried very hard not to mess it up. He obviously treasures it too, as he made sure my feet are not kicking the exhaust pipes, then he got on.

The ride was exhilarating. I am very ashamed to admit that I might preferred to have his helmet off, so I can have my fifteen minutes of fame. I would like to be titled "the girl who rode with Gaara" rather than "the girl who was cheated on by an Uzumaki and and Uchiha".

We walked into the house and I yelled, "Nana, I'm home! Gaara's with me!"

"Room 3!" Grandmother yelled at us.

So I took him to room three and give him a change of cloths while preparing the supplies ready in a tray. He watched me with interest. At last I couldn't hold it in anymore. I blurted out, "You worked for Orochimaru!"

He looked surprised, but it's impossible to tell if he's mad or not, because I blurted out an accusation rather than a question. His answer was mild, "Yes. I used to."

Stupid me. I couldn't think of anything else to say after that, so I stared at him.

Then he closed his eyes and leaned back. Surprisingly he didn't make any excuses. I had like a billion questions I wanted to ask him, but he just lied there and ignored me. At last I chickened out and whispered a "Sorry," and got the hell out of there.

I almost bumped into nana, because she scolded me, "Girl, watch where you're going! My old rattled bones couldn't take the hit!"

I bowed and apologized. She then said, "Your senpai is in room one."

I took that as a visitation permit, and I slipped into room one.

Kimimaro looked paler than usual as his lips were almost the same color as his skin. He was calm but his breathe carried small whistling sounds. His lungs are failing him. I had this urge of sympathy overcome my heart and I felt like hugging him. Like hugging a tattered old doll that someone had thrown out. He was probably treated like a doll by Orochimaru.

He was once so wonderful. He was glorious, he was so graceful and beautiful. He had a rare natural hair color all girls loved. It reminded us of royalty, and we certainly speculated he came from a line of royalty. He should fit to be so, because he looked like a prince. The only thing he was missing back in the Academy is that he should come in riding on a white horse. All girls would fall at his feet because of his superb personality. He was so nice to everyone, and so gentle. He would never turn down a favor, and everybody (apparently including Ino) felt awful for evening thinking of using him.

"Kimimaro-san." I whispered.

He opened his eyes to look at me, and then his lips turned to a thin smile. It almost broke my heart seeing him -even smiling with difficulty.

"Sakura." He greeted me back.

I sat beside him, and I wanted to cry.

"Sakura, is there something you'd like to ask?" He questioned me.

He can sense it! My eyes widened as I looked up at him.

He smiled again, "It's alright. At this point in my life, I really have nothing to hide."

I then blurted out and I seem to be blurting a lot lately, "Why is it that you're poisoned?"

He looked as if he expected that question, because he leaned back and re-

Oh shoot. Nanna is yelling at me for me to go to the store for some eggs. I can't believe I have been writing non-stop for three hours already. I shall include my encounter with senpai in next week's entry.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A/N: This is a crappy way to end the chapter, but to be fair it is getting a bit long.

Many thanks to InsaneScriptist, my beta


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Apologies.

**CHAPTER 6**

May 20, 2013

I.

I am back to finish my entry from last time.

Anyways, we (Kimimaro-senpai and I) were in the medical room one, and I questioned him about how he obtained his condition. He wasn't annoyed at me for asking, and his next words shocked me. I thought that I reached my shock quota for the week. Obviously not.

"I should've died a long time ago, Sakura. I already am a dead man walking."

This did not make me feel any better, and he went on to explain, "I worked for a man that does things that are not exactly legal-"

By this point I knew he was talking to me like I was a grade schooler, so I interrupted, "I know, Orochimaru."

He was surprised. But he was sensitive enough that he sensed I did not like the way he was talking to me, so he smiled warmly at me and said, "Well, Sakura. I worked for Orochimaru for a long time. Since I was young. Perhaps when I was about fourteen or fifteen."

By my rough estimation he's around mid twenties now. I asked him, "How did you quit?"

"Haha." He actually chuckled and replied, "It's not easy to quit Akatsuki."

Akatsuki. I blinked. Somehow that word, having a name for such an organization, just freaked me out. I assumed getting out be as easy as handing over your resignation letter. Or maybe buying everybody donuts and have a heart felt party of goodbye, but based from his tone, I'm guessing I'm wrong. Seriously wrong.

"Then.."

"To quit, a member has to complete a mission. A mission that is practically impossible. A near impossible, suicidal mission designed to benefit the organization if he or she succeed. If he or she fails during the process, death is inevitable."

"But Itachi got out. Uchiha Itachi!" I argued.

He gave me a look. "Who do you think designed this rule?"

Holy shit. I really didn't know crap about anything about Akatsuki at all! Now, I'm curious as to what Itachi did to get out of Akatsuki. Or is he really out at all? Mhmm... But to focus on the topic at hand. I gave him a look to encourage him to continue on.

"Well." He continued, "I... I worked for Orochimaru-sama when I was really young. Strangely enough, Akatsuki does not force employment. They recruit, and I volunteered. Or rather, I went in voluntarily. They offered clean living space and nutrition. I don't know who used whom, whether Orochimaru-sama used me to do his work for him, or I used him to get out of my poverty. I took missions now and then, while keeping up with my appearances for my concerts. I would've worked there forever, if it's not for..."

"For?" I asked, and by this time his face scrunched up in a calm pain. I tried to rush over to him, but he stopped me with his hand.

"I fell in love." He said.

That, I did not expect.

Well, I sort of expected it, since there's precedence, and also they write books on stuff like this.

"What?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"I fell in love." He repeated. "I was too tired to continue on living on the dark side, and I asked to be taken out of the field..."

"But..."

"But Orochimaru used her against me, and I continued to work for him for a couple of years, until the ultimatum came, and I was forced to complete a difficult task."

"What task!?" I asked with urgency. I hated myself for not bringing my tablet and start typing all this down like crazy, but I don't think he would appreciate it.

He give me an amused look and said, "Sakura, I don't think I could bare to pollute your mind with criminal actions."

"Oh, right." I said, and I filled the blank of his task as some sort of assassination or a very difficult Tom Cruise-type mission. In truth it's probably not as glamorous.

He continued, "The mission is completed... some what, and I went back to Orochimaru, asking for an antidote. Oh I forgot to mention, he-"

"Drugs his boys, I know." I finished for him urgently. It's surprising how little details he's gave me in retrospect but I was too mesmerized to notice.

He gave me another amused look, and continued. "Yes. Well, I caught him in a bad time. He was angry because of Uchiha Sasuke-"

My head just like, blew up. "What?" I screeched.

He smiled and shook his head. "That is a story you need to ask Sasuke himself."

"Right." I settled down, by taking a few deep breaths and then encouraged him to continue, "Go on."

"He was angry. He gave me something that would worsen my condition rather than curing it."

"Why didn't you go back and demand for the cure!" I yelled, very angry.

His pale face seemed paler. "I couldn't bring myself to."

"What?" I gasped.

He explained, "Orochimaru-sama was not raised out of flowers and rainbows, Sakura. I..." He trailed off.

Of course I was enraged. "You pity him? You pity that guy? Is that why you worked for him? Because of pity?"

He gave me a look that warned me that I am very close to an invisible line that I should not cross. I instantly shut up. Because of his gentle nature, he acted like my outburst didn't happen and continued, "That was my final contact with Orochimaru. Your grandmother has helped me immensely, and I am very grateful. This was something I could've managed on my own. My health has been declining, but it's alright."

"The girl then." I was secretly glad he wasn't gay. Because I would be devastated for the straight female population, while some gay guy somewhere would be cheering for his. "Are you together with the girl?"

"No." He smiled at me. "She married someone else."

"What!?" I squawked while jumping out of my chair. "WHAT!?"

"Calm down." He ordered.

I immediately sat back down.

"I watched her wanting for freedom, for escape, and for safety. I watched her suffer and watched her being happy. We were together once, but now she's married to someone else, and I was happy it worked out for her."

Perhaps it was very shallow of me to say, "Then it was all for nothing -all the pain you've went through to quit that organization."

"I wouldn't say that." He replied, at ease with the entire situation. This told me was the type of guy who would find joy in the most devastating situations. "I have a list-a list of things which that would require me to fulfill that would make others happy. I'm going down one by one. She was on the top, but I checked her off."

So that's why he's still holding piano concerts, even though he's so sick, or so I realized. My mind wandered then. I wonder how much make up would they need to make him at least look healthy.

We sat in silence for a while, then I asked. "So that's it then? That's all of the interaction you had with her?"

"Well." He was also the type of person that would never lie without a good reason, and the reason would probably meant either life or death. He begin, "Well, just a few months ago, someone threatened me with her death."

"And you went to save her?"

He didn't answer. But his look said, 'Of course.'

Sudden awe filled my chest. This man was amazing and completely selfless. "Did it make your, you... worse?"

"Perhaps." He answered. "But she was safe, and that's good. I wasn't the only one who tried to rescue her, though. That helped." By this time, he leaned back against the wall, signifying that this conversation is over.

I wasn't about to give up. I then pressed further, "Who was she? This girl?"

He give me a look, and chuckled. "I'm tired, Sakura-san. Would it be too much trouble if you make me some tea?"

I quickly retreated to the kitchen. By the time I got back, he was already fast asleep. I held the steaming tea pot within my hands, and at that moment I felt as if I was holding onto his heart.

II.

Then by the time last weekend came, I went on another date with Kiba. This time it was more serious, because my mind was filled with these Akatsuki thing, and I asked him about it, since he's part of the law enforcement. Technically right? Firefight, police, whatever.

"I'm surprised they mentioned it to you." He said, "Or... wait, who mentioned it to you?"

"Ino."

He rolled his eyes. "Of course."

"What do you know about it? Is it true then? With all its rules and poison and the impossible mission shit?" I asked with urgency.

"Sort of." He grumbled. "That is one messed up organization."

After a few days of knowing its existence, I still have trouble processing the fact they were so inhumane. Poisoning their own members to ensure loyalty? What sort of sick shit was that?

"What exactly do they do?" I asked him.

"All sorts of shit." He began. "If it makes money, they do it. That's about the only restriction they have. They have no morals or codes of ethics to live by. They form alliances with either countries if that's what it takes to get their firearms or weapons sold."

"Did you know the Uchiha were involved?"

"Did I!?" He laughed a barking irony filled laugh, "I think the Uchiha started it!"

"What?" I was even more surprised. I knew the Uchiha were bad news, but to start such an organization?

"That Uchiha Itachi is a character." Kiba said, "I don't think I've ever seen a man like him before. A man like him, he was in such a high position that when fate came around for him to fall, he fell hard."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's all personal. I've only heard rumours and those probably won't do any justice to the truth, whatever that is." He admitted. "But just know, it's best if you stay away from them. I know, I know, in this town all the famous families are connected, but it's just a friendly reminder."

"Of course." I smiled warmly at him, "Thank you."

"No worries." He said.

The rest of the date went smoothly. We went to the movies and watched Iron Man 3. I have been dying to see it but I'm so glad I finally did. With someone I don't feel repulsed by!

By the time Monday rolled around, I went to campus with two huge panda eyes.

Ino looked at me and then remarked, "Can you get some foundation on those eyes of yours? For heaven's sake!"

I sighed. "I just can't get it out of my head."

"The Akatsuki thing?"

"Yeah, and Kimimaro-senpai. He's trying so hard to stay alive just so he could please other people." I sighed.

"There are a lot of people like him in this world." She told me.

"No there isn't!" I yelled. "For fuck's sake! Ino, nobody could be this selfless and forgiving!"

"Naruto is this selfless and forgiving." She said to me calmly.

I cannot believe she mentioned his name. I stared at her, unable to utter another word.

That's when she said, "He made a mistake, yes. It was only a mistake, and you've made them too. You shouldn't use that as an excuse to break off the engagement, for you know that you didn't want to marry him in the first place."

I stood there like an idiot as she said those words to me. I suddenly asked, "Ino, have you been talking to Hinata?"

She sighed, "No, Sakura. We've all been thinking it. It's been a long time, a very long time. And everyone know Naruto-"

"Fuck you, Ino." I said, picking up my bags and my purse. "Fuck you."

"Sakura, I just want you to move on-"

"Fuck you!"

III.

I didn't go home. I went instead to the Hamptons, where all the rich people lived. I didn't drive that day, I took the bus and felt like a teenager all over again. I went by pure memory, and knocked on the door of which I once lived in.

The blond haired boyish face appeared in front of me as the door opened. When he saw me, he looked around, and then rubbed his eyes and asked, "Am I dreaming?"

I answered, "No, you're not. I'm here."

Then he had the nerve to ask with complete innocence, "Wh.. what are you doing here?"

I stepped in when he was still in shock that I was here. The moment I stepped in, I noticed something was different. Namely because a purple haired and white eyed girl was sitting right in the living room and staring at me with fear in her eyes.

I twirled around angrily, and stared right into a pair of equally fearful blue eyes.

Okay, I thought, I'm having a heart attack. I definitely am having a heart attack, because my heart is thumping in my chest like crazy, and all the blood is rushing on to the top of my head. I felt the whole world was spinning like crazy, and everything in front of me was going blurry. I thought I was incapable of such strong emotion, to truly want to murder someone. Now I know, I'm feeling that emotion now, even thinking back to it.

"Sakura-chan-" He spoke. Apparently he spoke because I was holding on to a nearby coat rack and no one had said anything for two straight minutes. He was afraid to touch me but he extended his hand out.

I held up a hand motion for him to stop talking. He stopped.

Finally, when the world stopped spinning, I leaned my forehead against the cooling metal, then I tried straightening up.

It's difficult, as I was still having trouble comprehending the situation. At last I asked him with as a firm voice as I could muster, and whispered, "You're not gay?"

I cannot believe that those were the only words I could whisper out. There it was, out in the open. Before, when I caught him with Sasuke, I stared at them for a full minute, and when one of them had the sense to recover from the shock of being caught and tried to pull on their pants, I turned around and left. After that I think Naruto dialed no less than a thousand times, left a thousand text messages, hundreds of voice mails, pleading, begging, asking -but I didn't look at any. I cut him off completely off from my life and refused to have any sort of interaction at all. It got to the point where I had to force a restraining order on him, and I would much rather pollute my ears with the loudest screaming music rather than listening him to attempt to explain. He didn't dare to touch me, because I would go insane.

Nobody around us mentioned him in front of me either, as it was obvious that I forbid it. My friends were careful to dace around the topic, and I was grateful. Even if recently it seemed like everybody has been mentioning him in front of me. I wanted to see why, I wanted to ask what was all the fuss about. Because obviously, he must've been in very bad condition. He must be drunk all the time, or developed gambling or drinking habits. He must have been living in hell. I thought, eh, it's been half a year already. I should check up on him and see if he's still, you know, alive. Perhaps to try and talk him out of drinking or gambling.

I came, and I saw a well groomed Naruto with a healthy body, and a Hinata whose face turned from flushed to white.

And I waited for an answer to my question.

He seemed to be afraid of answering anything, even. He opened his mouth, but closed them again. He opened it once more, but no sound came out.

"Naruto, tell me." I said, with my voice quivering. I straightening up. "Are you a gay?"

He opened his mouth, but again I hear no sounds coming from him. Instead I heard a whimpering from behind me, and Hinata's voice, "Sakura-chan, Naruto is-"

"SHUT UP!" I whirled back and screamed at her. She immediately retreated to the farthest corner of the room with tears in her eyes.

Finally, I heard words from Naruto, but it was an attempt to stop me from being mean. He told me, "Don't do that to-"

"Listen up." I grasped onto his shoulders, despite the fact he is at least a foot taller than I am. "I'm going to ask you one more time. Are you gay? Are you a homosexual? Do you practice ass to dick fucking? Is your lover Uchiha Sasuke?" The look on his face...

Finally, he answered with a single syllable.

"No."

That was it. That was it. I let him go and turned for the door. He attempted to grab onto me, and I literally roared at him. It was more of a mix between a scream and a roar. Either way it pierced his ears and scared the hell out of Hinata. Finally he let go of me, and I was about to open the door when I heard a voice just outside, "What the fuck, Naruto, are you screaming like a girl?"

I whipped open the door, and discovered Uchiha Sasuke, standing right in the entryway.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A/N: This really is becoming less and less realistic, more and more dramatic. Man. How much crap can a girl take.


	7. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

May 27, 2013

I.

I was sitting in the same room with Kimimaro this Tuesday, after his session. I found since he comes here everyday, I got into the habit of chatting with him for each session. He is extremely kind, so of course he won't refuse my company, however uncomfortable my abrasive self may be to him. I began to talk to him about other things other than Akatsuki. Partly, because I find that to be a pretty depressing topic to focus on, and partly because of all the shit has happened to me this last week -I was whining to him about it since I don't have anyone else to whine to. Everybody else is apparently siding with Naruto.

"I wasn't wrong, was I?" I asked him. I had just spent three days telling him my entire history. Background is important. Today I finally got to what happened last week. He was so patient and kind that he didn't interrupt me once.

"Well." He pondered it for a bit, then said, "Can you tell me why didn't you listen to him the first time he cheated on you?"

"Because it wouldn't have made a difference." I said. My eyes were close to watering. "Whatever he says, and whatever the possibility. He may have gotten drunk, or he was forced to, or if the world was in danger and he could only save it by fucking Uchiha Sasuke -I didn't and I don't care. It's all on him."

"I see," he said. "You have a strong sense of morality."

"Only when it comes to this." I said. "I don't when it comes to things like um, indulgence or education."

He chuckled, and his smile immediately made me feel better. It's not about feeling better, however, as he said, "I understand your feeling. I also understand why he does the things he does-without any firm reason why he's doing it, of course. I suppose it's human nature to not be able to wait around that long."

"That's what I was angry about." I said. "And the existence of Uchiha Sasuke just fueled that anger. It looked as if they're still buddies, even. I mean, if he, Naruto, and Hinata are all friends, what does that fucking make me?"

"Well." Kimimaro said, "I am not going to judge anybody here, because I don't want you to blow up to bits. But I think... you should learn to let go."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Everything that has happened made you mad, right?"

"Right."

"Then you should do something to relieve tension. You know pent up aggression can explode in very ugly ways. You should release it as soon as possible, then move on from your currently disturbed life. You should be happy, looking around to find someone you can be friends with and possibly have a future with, by then you can show them you're truly happy. I doubt that you'd care at that point, because your own happiness outweigh any petty competition."

I looked at him with admiration. "Wow. You're so good at this."

He managed to squeeze out a smile.

I sighed.

He then looked at me knowingly and asked, "Do you want to know what's going on? Or do you want to stay mad forever."

"I want to stay mad forever." I said.

"That's not good." He said. "It meant that you still have feelings for him. I know-" He held up a hand to stop me from protesting. "If you bother to be mad at something or someone, it meant the feeling was so strong, it still lingers. It's because there were good times, that's why you're mad. Because you believe he belonged to you once, he loved you once, and you were happy once, is that correct?"

I nodded like a grade school girl after being bullied.

He continued. "Well. If you want to be happy, you have to release the anger. You have to think about the future, and if you want revenge, then do yourself a favor by finding someone to love. From what You've told me, you've been holding onto this anger for six months or so. It's time to release it."

"How?" I asked.

"You're creative and clever. You'll find a way." He smiled with certanity.

I slumped back and grumbled, "Well it's just not the same. You... You're perfect. You loved this girl for so long, and it's unlikely you'll ever love someone else again. You've waited for her for so long, and you even went on a suicide mission for her. You've risked your life multiple times for her, but she... I just... I just measured you up against Naruto, and I found, compared to you, he's nothing."

He chuckled and said, "I'm glad you think so."

I stared.

"Perhaps." He managed to say. "Have you ever consider the possibility that she isn't with me because I did those things for her?"

"What?" I asked, completely confused.

"It is precisely because I'm willing to risk my life for her. It's because I've muddled myself in some pretty deep and dark waters. I suspect she doesn't want to be with me because she knew I wouldn't last a life time long with her. Sometimes there are some things that follows you through a life time."

I blinked. "No way. What a bitch."

He frowned.

I pointed, "See? See? You love her so much that even though she's married, you still frown upon my insult to her name."

He released the frown and placed a hand on mine. "Sakura." He said gently, as if calling to wake up a sleeping child.

I nodded.

"Be happy." He kissed my forehead.

II.

Operation Happy isn't going too well. I found that I had no way to release the anger without seeing Naruto. So a visit to his house must be made. I really don't want to, consider how I walked out from it twice.

This time, however, he only called like a dozen time the first few days, and the rest of the days following I had nothing. I even checked if my phone was broken, but it's not. Apparently he doesn't think it's worth his time to continue pestering me then.

Oh god, look at how pitiful I've become. I want to be pestered by the man I hate.

On top of that, I haven't talked to Ino since then. I think it's the longest I haven't talked to her. I was so determined not to talk to her first I failed to realize that it could meant my friendship with her was over. I would think it's almost humiliating, to have my eight year friendship ruined with the argument of my ex-fiancee.

And I haven't contacted Kiba in a while...

Well, nevertheless. I stomped into Hamptons yesterday to find closure. At the time I had no idea how to find closure, because it seemed pretty damn near impossible. In truth, I hoped to scream at him, or yell at him -and later as it turned out, I did those things, and more.

I first called him, asking politely if I could come over and talk. He didn't dare to refuse me.

I knocked on his door.

After like two minutes, he opened it. I waited patiently and managed to smile at him, "Naruto."

"Sa..Sakura-chan." He stuttered.

"I would like it if you explain to me what happened." I said.

"With... with what?" He asked with fear in his voice.

"With everything." I said.

"Everything?" He looked confused.

"Everything." I walked in, after making sure there isn't anyone else in the house, as I didn't want anybody intruding, I sat on the couch.

"From where?" He was dumbfounded.

"From why you fucked Uchiha Sasuke." I said.

"We were really, really, really, wasted." He said, "I... I didn't think it would come to that. I thought... I thought he was you. We didn't even do any... before you came in."

"Penetration?" I asked to make sure that that didn't actually happen. I didn't know what I expected, because I obviously have thought of every single answer he could've came up with in existence.

He grimaced and nodded.

My head spiraled around a bit, and a very strong sense of... something... washed over me. Pardon my language, because I don't actually know how to describe this feeling. I think it's just a sense of pressure that has been squeezing my body so tightly that I felt it is blowing me up from the inside. I don't know if it's a bad feeling, or a good feeling, but it's definitely not relieved.

If it was relief I might be jumping up and down in happiness and crying rainbows and flowers by now. If it's a good feeling I might be yelling and screaming from the top of my lungs and run back home and tell the good news to senpai. But it's not a good feeling, I know because I can practically see the effect of my reaction on Naruto's face. He's still fearful of what I might do, which cause me to wonder bitterly if he still cares for me as a person at all, or if he just cares about whether or not I slap him.

Then I asked the most dreaded question.

"When did you... and Hinata... when did this thing start?" I asked.

His eyes widened a bit before he looked away and said, "Um. Not long ago...Really."

"So you're saying, you moved on." I repeated after him, feeling foolish.

"Sort of." His answer came slow and unsteady.

Ok, I need to breathe in and out. In and out, in and out. I was only worth five months of heart-break after being engaged for two years?!

This whole shit is just so fucking complicated. I have to keep my cool for now.

"And Uchiha Sasuke?" I questioned Naruto. "Is he best friends with both of you guys?"

"Not best." Naruto mumbled.

I want to grab onto him and shake some sense into him. Or, at least, shake him over to my side.

What did I want? What is this feeling? Do I want him to come over now? Do I want him back? Do I want ...

I am very, very ashamed to say that the next words out of my mouth are NOT my proudest utterances.

"Break up with her." I told him.

He turned his head so fast to stare back at me, his eyes widened.

In the five second interval that he answered, my head spun very fast and it went everywhere. First, it occurred to me that whatever this shit I was trying to pull, it would not work well on any other guy. Naruto is different. Naruto is different in a way that he was raised up by his parents; they held excessive amount of traditional values. They passed them onto Naruto, of course. He has the heart of gold. I'm not kidding. He has the kindest and brightest heart I have ever seen. Well, maybe when compared next to senpai. The difference was that senpai was in a polluted environment of Akatsuki, and Naruto stayed pure and gold all throughout his life. Until Sasuke got mixed up in this equation, I guess.

And I knew. I knew for a certain that if I asked very nicely, if I asked with the threat of tears and death and everything in between, he would do whatever I wanted. He would love me unconditionally, because he once made a commitment to me, and that's the type of person he is.

Would it all be the same, though?

Obviously Naruto's brain did not get this far, because he looked at me square in the eye and asked with completely sincerity, "Is this what you want? Sakura-chan?"

I was stunned by his reaction, even though I guessed it already.

My mind was taken to when we first met. It was a couple years ago, when I was a couple years into post-secondary, and I was invited into a conference by a renowned lecturer.

It was Jiraiya-sensei. He was an accomplished author. He wrote a very philosophical and deep book on the nature of humans, wars, pains, and the state of being. It was a masterpiece and very ambitious. The whole things is worth to devote one's lifetime to study into. Unfortunately it didn't sell very well, because I suspect that it might be too intellectual for the public. Then he switched into writing erotic fiction, occasionally add some philosophical thoughts in between. It was incredibly similar to anarchy, and he connected the two together. Sex and anarchism, therefore it became a series based on menage a trois, a quatre... a cinq.. etc. Even though he squeezed in some question on the nature of monogamy or polyamourous relationships, most of his readers did not care for those. He was invited to the lecture almost three years ago solely on the favor of Tsunade-sensei.

Jiraiya-sensei is a family friend of the Uzumakis, so they all came. That's when I saw Naruto. Or rather, he saw me.

I was discussing Jiraiya's first book with a friend, and he heard me. I admit I was showing off just a little, and I was greatly slamming polygamy because I was programmed in by my very genes and environs to not tolerate cheaters. I did not believe that multiple people could be involved in the same circle of sexual relationships without fallouts. I did not believe that it was intended for humans to procreate with whomever they want. I believed the sole reason why we achieved this level of emotional depth and intellect is because we value abstract relationships. I was blabbing off, going on and on about how I think Jiraiya-sensei is a brilliant writer, but his gender took the best side of him in his creation of these erotic books. I even claimed I read them, which I did and have, but I solely disagreed on his views, not his intent on being a professional erotic writer.

Naruto was standing behind me for a while, and he listened for a good half an hour until Ino joined our discussion, and she was a family friend of Naruto's family. She shifted her head and saw him, then laughed, "Naruto, are you frozen?"

He ignored her, and then spoke directly to me. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto."

I stared at him, didn't know whether to shake his hand or something. So I said, "I'm Sakura."

Then he asked for my number, while my girlfriends were whispering in my ear on how powerful his family is.

He then said, "I completely agree with what you said. Even though I interacted with Jiraiya-sensei, I never agreed with his carefree views on sex. I was looking for a way to argue back at him, but I could never find the words. What you just said is perfect -humans are meant to find their other half in this world."

"But I don't believe in soul mates." I blurted out.

"What?" He looked surprised.

I explained. "Soul mates means that you could only be with one person but there are seven billion of us in this world, it's highly likely that we will never meet. Some people who complete each other will meet, of course. What I may say next may be too scientific, or too logical and cold, so sorry, but I think that we all have a number of compatibility with each other. If we lay it out on a scale of one to a hundred percent. I may find a seventy percent of mine and live with him the rest of my life. Or I may find a forty percent, marry him and divorce him a couple years later. The higher the number, the harder it is it to find. That's why we should work on our relationships with one another, and maybe slowly, our number and compatibility will build up over time."

Then he shook his head, disagreeing. "That, I disagree with. I think there are such things as soul mates, and there won't be numbers involved. You just know, right away, that she's it, and I will cherish and protect her with the rest of my life."

Later I would admit that he had me at that line. The look on his face, the determination, and the goofy but tentative looks he gave me...

I knew too, that he loved me.

Now, looking into that same pair of blue eyes, and his expression more serious than ever. He's asking me if it's what I want. Not ironically, because he doesn't hold sarcastic bone in his body. He meant it. He meant what he said and he will destroy his happiness on the account of me asking him too.

At last, I answered.

"No, Naruto. It's not what I want." I informed him.

He kept staring at me, and I couldn't take his overwhelming innocence and loyalty anymore. I looked away and stood up.

It looks like there's nothing left for me here. I should head back. But a fat lot of good releasing my anger during my visit did me, since I'm now so full of anger and frustration I want to kill something.

No, wait.

That's when I remembered something. It flashed in my mind. There's something he treasured above anything else. I know because it hangs right on the ceiling of his bedroom, and it's the last thing he see when he goes to bed and the first thing he sees when waking up. It's a painting I made for him back in my art course days. A painting of a ramen bowl style house. With doors, windows, and garden made from ingredients of ramen. Also I painted me and him in it, sitting on the front porch holding large chopsticks as swords. They're a pair, and they complete each other.

He loved it. He said it has everything he loved in it. Ramen, me, him, swords, fighting, completion, and my bizarre sense of humor and creativity. It was then he declared he shall built a house exactly like this one day, and soon after, he asked me to marry him.

I went to the kitchen, and grabbed a knife. Naruto looked alarmed, which I rolled my eyes. If I'm going to hurt him I might as well just surrender myself to the police. Instead I went into his bedroom and jumped onto the bed. (Unsafe, I know. Kids, don't do this at home-do it somewhere else. Wait. Why would kids read this? I'm not blogging this after all.)

Then I jumped up, and slashing the painting from one side to another, completely splitting the frames, which probably cost way more than the painting's worth.

Naruto stood at the door of his bedroom, completely stupefied.

I realize now that I'm very evil. I threw the knife onto the ground, and felt more embarrassed than ever. But I justified it by reminding myself that what he did to me made me very angry, and I want to break something else that he loves and treasures just for the hell of it. I looked around, and saw his froggy alarm that we both hated. I picked it up, and wanting to smash it down.

I couldn't bring myself to.

Funny how I slashed his (or really my) painting, but I can't bring myself to slash an alarm.

I bit my lips, and immediately the tears start rolling down. After placing the alarm back, I wiped my eyes and said to him.

"We're done."

His face was pale, and his lips quivered a little. But he didn't move. Or couldn't. I don't know.

I sighed, and walked towards the door.

At some point in our relationship, perhaps along a long and extended continuum, he loved me. Completely, utterly, and without condition.

He did. He really did, he really did.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: Somewhat sad. Remember though, one thing had to end for another to begin.


	8. Chapter 8

**CHAPTER 8**

May 30, 2013

I.

It's a fan-fucking-tastic world that we're living in.

II.

I did something horrible and embarrassing. Wildly embarrassing. Even too embarrassing to be written down in a journal. Since I know my imaginary readers will judge me, and I already judged myself many times over already. I know I'm not perfect and I'm not innocent. I know I am inherently evil and freaking nuts sometimes, I know I know I know. But this... this just went fucking beyond crazy. I went beyond the line of crazy that I don't even see the line anymore.

After being very mad, from .. ahem, the last entry of my diary explains that. Sorry about all that vivid description of my pain. I say it ironically of course, because it was not vivid. It was messed up. I actually think I may have create art through pain and suffering. Why judge? All the great writers and painters do it. They maintain intense emotions all the time to create art. The fuck.

Anyways, my sadness was beyond just sadness. I had all the emotions wrapped up within my body that I couldn't find a good way to release them. I wanted to go somewhere, and do something, and that will make him pay. Yes, I should. That's when I got a phone call from Uchiha Sasuke.

I actually picked up. Normally I don't pick up random numbers. But this time I was too furious to care.

He was too, because he was almost yelling into the phone. "Haruno Sakura, you got some balls-"

Hearing his voice, I suddenly calmed down. And a crazy idea popped into my head. I just said in a very calmly manner, "we need to talk."

Then he said. "Uchiha-corp. Top floor, now. You have five minutes."

Now I must remind the readers this idea is purely... nuts. I had it when I was too furious to think straight, and apparently I still couldn't think straight for the next two days.

The line went dead as I waited for the bus to downtown. of course it took longer than five minutes to get there. I also stopped by an ice-cream shop on the way because I felt I should treat myself when I'm this miserable. No to drugs, yes to cholesterol. Yay!

So I entered the huge sky scraper building. The receptionist knew I was coming, because she ran out from behind the desk in her four inch stilettos and mini pencil skirt and instructed me to take a special elevator that took me directly to the top. I think she was sweating half the time.

I did, and the door opened up to what could only be called a palace rather than a office.

I could go into very elaborate details about the ancient retro style of the place. With marble busts and 18th century paintings. Walls painted an expensive creamy color and floor as if covered by quartz. It just goes to show how I should judge the Uchihas. The Uzumakis have money, but they lived humbly. The Uchihas have money, and they lived like kings.

A PA showed me the door to Sasuke's office, and I entered without bothering with knocking.

He looked up, then back down to his work without a sound. I didn't care. I saw on the chair in front of him and played with my phone.

It was probably better. Because I needed sometime to get used to his looks.

Finally after about half an hour, he raised his head and said, "Haruno-san."

"Uchiha-san."

"I have a few minutes. What would you like to talk about?"

I then focused on his face. Damn it to hell, it's impossible to read. Of course. Since I think even when the time I caught him in bed naked, he was passive.

"Are you gay?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "Any particular reason why you're asking?"

"If you think I'm asking this with consideration to Naruto... no. I'm curious. Naruto and I.. it's in the past. He moved on already." I said.

"But you didn't." He narrowed his eyes at me.

I gave a fake chuckle, "Why would you think that?"

"My eardrums."

I assumed he was referring to my piercing scream. So I rolled my eyes and said, "if it's all the same to you, I'd rather know your sexual orientation."

"I don't disclose that information unless you give me a good reason." His reply.

I sighed, then leaned closer to his desk and said, "you see, Uchiha-san. Word around town is that you welcome anyone into your bed without standards."

He tilted his head a little. "Be as it may..."

"And I wanted to know, if you have any sexual transmitted diseases."

He looked mildly confused, which I suppose is a huge breakthrough of emotions for him.

"I want to fuck you, Uchiha-san." I poked through the sheet and made my point clear.

He looked shocked, then angry, then amused.

"What are you planning?" He asked.

"Well." I explained with great patience. "I thought I knew my ex-fiancee like the back of my hand, and as it turns out, I don't. Fortunately, coming out of my arrangement with him I still have one thing in tact, which is, my virginity. I may be foolish thinking this, but I do firmly hold onto the idea that me, fucking you, would make him a little mad. Or sad. Or whichever."

He turned his eyes away and laughed.

I waited until he finish.

He turned back to me and said seriously, "what if I told you, he doesn't give a fuck whomever you fuck, or you were fucked by."

"Then it's my loss." I smiled.

He then put away all traces of laughter and said in his most cruel voice, "What if I refuse?"

"Well then." I said, "this arrangement I propose doesn't harm you in anyway. In fact it benefits you, since I have no STDs, and I am an average looking girl. If not slightly above at the risk of sounding conceited. There is no reason for you to refuse, unless you had the following reasons. First, you care too much about your friendship, or affair, with Naruto. Second, you don't feel like fucking a girl. All valid reasons. Pick one and I'll be on my way."

Sasuke leaned back in his leather chair and then made a tsk-sound. "It looks like you're having second thoughts."

"I'm not." I answered with bravery. "I still would like to have sex with you. But I cannot force you into bed with me. If you are repulsed by my gender, or me in particular, there is nothing I could do. Since you're only on top of my list, however, it's not a great loss to me. I think I will eventually find someone who will want to fuck me. My last resort is to hire an male escort. Which, I think, is right under your brother's jurisdiction. He did promise to help me in my future.. endeavors."

Itachi was talking about finding me a job. Not a dick.

He finally frowned, "have you no shame?"

I laughed and said in a teasing way. "Why? As opposed to who? You?"

He walked right into that, and he knew it too. I was laughing very like a maniac inside, but kept a cool facade, "If you refuse, let's pretend this conversation never happened, and I'm sorry I wasted-" I looked at the clock on the wall, "-seven minutes of your ever precious time."

"Mhmm." He made a single syllable sound. "Do you propose to do it now? I still have work to do."

I smiled in satisfaction, "anytime you're free."

III.

Fucking great. Now that I have a dinner reservation with Uchiha Sasuke on Friday and I have no idea how I'm going to go through with that. It's a complete lie to say I am not regretting what I've done. In my defence I did it on a whim. On my anger. And now I lost my best friend to even talk about it. I can't talk to anyone else about it! It's too personal... and besides, I doubt they have great ideas for me either. There's only two answers. Yes, or no. Since no is not an option for me, the only path is to go and wait for him to "deflower" me.

Why is "no" an option, you ask?

If my dear [imaginative] readers didn't know already, I am a very stubborn girl. I cut off from Naruto completely when he stepped a toe out of line. I cut off from Hinata completely since the talking incident, and I cut off from Ino completely since her nagging. I, am NOT the one who would go back begging. I will always have the last word, I will always assert my own opinion without forcing them on others. I will always be the one who waits for a step ladder to be laid at my feet and I step down from my high pride with grace and dignity intact. I do not go back on my actions, and I certainly do not chicken out.

I have long know that it's just s single and thin piece of hymen. Really there's no need for me to keep it. Somehow I did. And during the two year relationship I had with Naruto, he was conservative and felt the need to wait after marriage. I didn't care, so, sure. Whatever. That's why up until now at the age of twenty-two, almost twenty-three, I am still a virgin.

Well, not after Friday, I won't.

Ok, ok, ok, ok, Friday is still like, four days away. I need to like, calm down.

Yes. Calm. Remain calm.

IV.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, the fuck is wrong with this school. I can't register into summer courses. I stomped into enrollment services and demand an explanation (actually I asked very politely) and they told me because of the system error and professors riot (I think it was a strike?), my fall term grades are not up on the system yet. So they're judging my academic standard by only one course I tool last summer, which is a very hard course in med that I loathed. It was a requirement for my minor and I thought I would get it out of the way, but I did not have enough knowledge or the experience. I scraped by that class barely passing, and suffice to say it was not my proudest moment in life when I checked my grades. But this campus can't judge me on a single low mark. My recent GPA is judged by the latest courses that I took during the past year. And of course, since the system does not have my fall and winter courses yet, the only course mark I have this whole year is the barely passing one.

So now I have to wait until the system load itself back up and my fall and winter course marks comes out and raise my average up. I know like, for fucking sure that I did excellent in them. But the problem of that, by then, it'd be too freaking late, and I probably won't be able to register into it.

My heart is like, bleeding. This just ruined my whole day.

Oh and all the Sasuke thing.

I sat in my room, grumpily, and wished all my problem would just go away. There's endless waiting waiting, and fucking more waiting. I want to graduate and move out and live my life as soon as possible. Delaying summer courses just meant another summer wasted by waiting. I want desperately to be independent. It's not that I don't like living with nana...

Ok, it's that I don't like living with Grandma.

She was really harsh. Seriously. She was like, old school. Back when I was young and needed discipline, she did not hesitate to bring sticks and stones down on me if I failed something. I was so meek and shy that I had no choice but to take all her criticism. It did some good on me, I suppose, but I contribute my insecurity and complete lack of self esteem to her. I admit it's so much better than having hubris, but it also landed me into the shit I'm in now. If I had more confidence, I would not want to cut off anyone immediately without the choice of a second chance.

Now that I'm in university, she has been lenient. I practically escaped to Naruto's when we first going out. I slept there so much eventually I moved everything I need there and rarely come home. My grandmother didn't say anything, just like how when I broke up with him I moved all my stuff back. She didn't say anything either. Her last request of mine is to finish my minor in Traditional Meds. And by now, I think I have enough credit to even major in it. Maybe I should apply for its major.. Mhmm, note to self. Check with faculty advisor see requirement.

Ok my mind is in complete jumbo at the moment. What do I do about Sasuke? Should I cancel? Does it mean I have strong confidence if I cancel? I should cancel, right?

Now I'm just waiting on my rocking chair for Kimimaro-senpai to finish his session, so I can go talk to him.

V.

Hmph, senpai is absent today. Grandmother didn't mention why. I saw Gaara coming out, and helping himself to some leftovers in the fridge. Out of the kindness in my heart (while also I'm star struck), I offered to make him something to eat while he nibbled on a few biscuits.

"Thank you." He said.

"Don't mention it." As I turned on the fire.

And the awkward silence phase.

I made him a ham and egg and cheese and toast sandwich, with a side of yesterday's stew. There, healthy and nutritious. Then I was reminded he's a singer, so I quickly took out some lemon and made honey lemon tea.

I swear if his eyes could twinkle. He looked at me with twinkling eyes. It's ironic because it should be the opposite.

Then during the middle of his lunch, he put down his fork and asked me, "Sakura-san. Why did you ask me the other day... The thing with Akatsuki?"

I shuffled my feet in embarrassment (damn it diary! How many embarrassment can I take in this entry!) and said, "I recently just heard about the organization and I was curious."

"Curious?" He looked puzzled.

"Yes, because, well. I'm naturally curious about these things. Like queer theory, cultural behaviour, psychology... etc. I just want to know why people behave the way they do, and the underground organization fascinated me. It fascinates most people, actually, that's why there's crime drama, right? Have you seen Hannibal?"

He shook his head.

Awww he was so cute. With mild innocence, curiosity and ignorance, his looked at me as if a baby panda (which he look similar to, mind you) looking at his caretaker.

"Well, it's a series about a brilliant psychiatrist who practice cannibalism. It's widely popular. I watched a bit into it and I have begun a research paper into cannibalism and the reason of it. Mostly because its the last resort or cultural practices. Don't worry."

He then looked away without emotion. "I'm not scared. I've seen worse."

I gasped inwardly, of course he has! He was in Akatsuki.

Then I lowered my eyes, "I'm sorry."

"No, please." He said, "there's nothing to be sorry about. It was quite a long time go, when I was just getting famous."

My eyes switched back to him and stared at him with an intent please-tell-me-more expression. He blinked a few times and said, "Well, I used my fame to complete missions..."

"Wait." I said, "How did you join?"

"Orochimaru approached me when I was young." Gaara explained as if talking about the weather, "He took us away from our father and took us in. Sasori and I."

"Oh...!" I urged him to continue.

"Yes. Well, we swore that one day we will get back at our father. He was... not kind to us. And we didn't need to. Itachi-san did. he greeted us with our father's head on a plate, and asked us for a favor. It was only one time, though, and it was a... difficult mission. Afterwards, we were not required to swear loyalty to Akatsuki, but Sasori and I kept working, and it was Orochimaru who gave us orders." His voice was bland.

I quickly asked, "How did Sasori-san get out?"

"He was the luckier one our of us." Gaara lowered his eyes. "He saved Itachi's daughter by accident once, and Itachi owed him a favor. Uchiha does not normally owe favors, and it was within Itachi's right to declare if a person could leave Akatsuki or not."

I responded by saying, "I want to write a book about all this. Holy shit."

He gave me a puzzled look. I coughed. "I'm saying all this is so interesting!"

He managed a smile.

"How did you get out then?" I asked.

"I completed a very difficult mission." He replied.

"You did!?" I asked in surprise.

"Yes." He said. "It was five years ago, back in 2008."

"2008..." I repeated, then eyes widened, "wasn't that the Beijing Olympics?"

He smiled a little and didn't give me any other information. Note to self. Check major man-made disasters in 2008. On that thought, check the natural ones too. Apparently according to Ocean's 11 series, it's possible to create a man-made earthquake. Huh.

"But you made it out alive, and nana said you're doing good-with your progress." I said, my eyes shifted around his body. "You're doing well!"

"Yes, and I'm glad." Gaara managed a small curve of his lips.

I let him finish his food while I marinate some beef for future use. He watched me after he finished, and spoke aloud. "We met once, years ago."

"Really?" I was surprised.

"Yes, I wasn't that famous back then. I came here for my initial check up, and your were having an argument with your grandmother. You didn't want to take any courses in traditional medicine." He replied.

I remember that fight. It was one of the larger fights I had with nana.

"Right." I replied, "but we didn't talk."

"A few exchanges. You were not nice to me." He replied without contempt.

My eyes widened.

"It's because of your fight. I understand. I didn't take offence." He quickly added.

I was a little uncomfortable with this conversation, so I quickly switched it to something else. "Gaara-san, what are your plans for this weekend?"

He thought about it for a moment, and then said, "I think I have a photo shoot. I'm not sure, I have to check with my assistant. My family is coming to visit."

"Really!" I smiled, "where are they staying?"

"Willow's."

"Oh it a wonderful hotel." I said, "they have bed posts made from bamboo."

"You visited?"

"No, I saw flyers around the campus hiring cleaning ladies."

He looked away and changed the subject, "thank you for the meal."

"You're welcome." I replied and put his dishes inside the dish washer. Grandmother never use it, but I use it all the time to get out of cleaning duty.

Then he offered, "would you like to hear me sing?"

My eyes sparkled. "Yes!"

"What would you like?"

I thought about it, then suggested, "what about a happier song? A song about lifting you up from your troubles-oh, oh, sing 'come fly with me'!"

He looked at me with an amused look.

"You don't know it?" I asked with disappointment.

"I do." He replied, "it's a very well known song."

"Wonderful." I sat down at the table and leaned my head against my arms while staring at him. He gave a little sigh and looked around, "do you have an instrument around here? A piano or a guitar?"

I shook my head. I was never that into instruments. I desperately wanted to learn how to play one, but traditional meds took over my life from the moment I was born. I was trained to recognize hundreds of different plants in the back yard when I was a child.

He then took out several small glass cups from the cupboard, and filled them with water at different depth. He tested them out by knocking on the surface a few time, then he begin.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: "Weather wise, it's such a lovely day..."

Huh. I have such weird musical tastes from my contemporaries.


	9. Chapter 9

June 5, 2013.

I.

I haven't spoken to Ino in a long time...

Well, there is no way she would concede in talking to me. Just like there's no way I will concede in talking to her first either. It's sort of like... a matter of principal. I don't understand half of it either. But if this keeps going, it's likely we won't be friends again. Which sucks, because for fucks sakes, she benefits me so much.

I first had a fallout with Ino when we were all in our teens, and she said something behind my back, and I found out.

Yeah, those relationships in movies? Like the sisterhood of travelling pants? Nuh-uh. There is a reason why they're called fiction. In real life, even the best of friends had fallouts. There was no such thing as "close as anyone could be". I blame society.

Society has made us selfish. Because of there's so many of us, we had to compete, to win and to fight for whatever it is that we believe in-that will guarantee our survival. We don't have time to grant charity cases, we don't have the energy or the resources to keep on focusing on our best, best friend. We learn to protect ourselves and wrap ourselves in a cocoon. Friends are a source of enjoyment and interaction-nothing else. Everybody knew this too. Everybody except Naruto.

I learnt this the hard way. I used to have this urge to offer up everything I have that was the best of to my best friend. Until finally we had fights, and its usually due to something petty.

It's very hypocritical to say that when I offer up something to my friends, I don't expect anything back.

There are many things in this life that could be constitute as things. I offer my best teddy bear to my best friend, for example, and I expect something back, like her friendship. I expect her to be happy with me. Of course this only stands on the condition that we both like to hang out with each other to begin with. I used to find new friends, and then be friend them instantly. We became best friends, but after a few month we drifted apart.

Nana told me that I should expect anything, and I should offer anything either. She said I have a sort of fire within me that is too passionate for anyone to handle. Most people my age could not afford or have the will to offer me the same degree I offer them. Because there is no point-there is no reason for them to. They put their focus on their boyfriends, their work, their studies... Friends are just a way to let off steam and prove to the world that they're not a loner.

Some shrink, my nana was.

She also told me that I am too committed. There are nothing that I could offer that my friends can't get without money. Now that I think about it, it's mostly true. As much as I want to write down my fabulous deep to the bone friendship with Ino here, I couldn't. Because it doesn't exist.

I was instantly reminded of Kimimaro-senpai.

"Sakura, she didn't want to be with me because of the way I am."

He cared too much, too deeply, and too madly.

It doesn't mean that if we're in some deep shit, we wouldn't help each other-of course we would. But that's just it. At the end of the day, we have our priorities. Hers is Shikamaru, and mine is ... getting fucked and hate the world. We can't rely on each other forever. Ever since we both have grown up, it's not the childish obsession that when I had nothing to loose at the age of five, Ino was my world.

Now it's safe to say, at our age, show us a pair of friends who would claim to do anything for each other, I'd show you a pair of liars.

Then what is real now? What is the true relationship that one would do anything for the other?

Only in fiction. Only in books.

I always suspected this is the reason I turned to fiction. Not only because it's not true, also because its so much more beautiful than reality. It has the sole, superficial side of what is the true love and what is not. Of course a bunch of shit happens in fiction. Adventures that people living in cities can't begin ever hope to go through. That also puts relationships to tests. Without them, with our boring and bland life, we speculate, and move on.

There is this love that is so pure, so passionate, so absolute, you would commit crime for the other. You would betray all your morals and values for the other. You do that because whenever you see your other, tenderness overflows your mind-now that, only existed in fiction. Books like Lolita, Wuthering Heights, or Perfume, they depict a love like that. Although weather they border on obsession or love is anyone's debate. Love would not be love without some degree of obsession.

Suppose only romantic love could reach that level of intensity, then what am I chasing now? Am I chasing for pleasure? Something so superficial and shallow and cold...

Oh, Kiba's here.

II.

Well, that went well. I think.

We were in the middle of Mario's, and I ordered shrimp firecracker penne while he ordered steak. Heh.

I explained to him that I am just very focused on school and finding a job, also the fact that I am so not ready to get out from my previous relationship. I am in a complete wreck and I am seeking comfort in the person I hate. And that comfort is for him to destroy me so the person I also hate would be hurt.

OK I didn't tell him the last part. But I just told him that I really don't deserve him. I can't let this continue without telling him this. He is too good, too wonderful. I am just too.. bitchy.

I admit as a Lit major I have no idea how to describe myself. I used to think "clever" would do the trick. But obviously anyone in my position would not judge themselves to be clever. I am a complete idiot, but I'm an idiot with morals. I cannot allow myself to continue with Kiba knowing I would be off sleeping with someone else.

He sighed, and then said, "Yeah, I heard."

"You did?" I panicked.

"Yes, what happened at Naruto's." He said.

"Oh." I stopped panicking.

"Sakura, really it's nothing." Kiba told me. "This thing going on.. I mean, it's pretty shitty of him to actually do it with the Uchiha when he's engaged to you, but sex is just sex. You do realize men have no time for all these emotional crap. What it meant to you probably is just a seed to a watermelon to them."

"So you're saying a hole is a hole to stick it in whether its in any hole?" I asked.

"Yes. Didn't you study literature? Oscar Wilde?"

I replied coldly, "he is experimenting for the sake of art. The sole proof of him wrote important literature meant he gets an appeal. I don't see Naruto creating beautiful things."

"Then you know it's a way to let off steam." Kiba replied, "besides, if it wasn't for Naruto, we would be living in a pretty shitty city, with Akatsuki all over us."

"I am aware of that." I said. In actuality I don't. But I don't want to seem ignorant.

He then nods, "yes, I just want you to be aware. I didn't think this thing between us was going to last anyways. Friends?"

I managed a smile. But was then reminded. "Darn it. There's something I've always wanted to ask you to do."

"What is it?" He looked puzzled.

I chuckled evilly. "Now that we're friends, right? You're a fireman. I want to see your stomach."

He stared at me, then burst into a fit of laughter.

But thank god he knows me better now than to just hit on me. Since I don't equate sex with sex and nothing else attached. He wiped his hands from eating ribs and lifts up his shirt, right in the middle of Mario's.

Lunch just went from OK to fabulous.

III.

Fucking great. Now I'm curious as to what the hell Naruto did. He never tells me shit about his job. I'm not even sure I know what he does. He has some connection with Kakashi, the police force. Some connection with his father, the mayor. Some connection with his mother, the head of the DA. Some connection with the Uchihas, now some connection with the Hyuuga family. Oh right, he's also friends with Gaara, the Suna family. So he has his hands in the entertainment business too?

The fuck did I just let go? He's a golden goose that just lays fucking eggs. Golden eggs. The fuck.

Another awkward lab session. Neither of us talked with one another other than did our measures and got the hell out. I took a look at Erika, whose eyes resembled her uncle so much it's freaking me out. She caught me looking at her, and I quickly ran out before she could approach me.

Poor kid, she must not have a lot of friends her age. Well, figures, since she's a child genius.

As I was walking out of the campus, I caught Sarutobi-sama in our campus herb greenhouse. He was sitting among the soils and sprinkling some fertilizers to some of the plants. Oh why is he doing that? This kind of work is beneath him! I quickly ran over, "Sarutobi-sama!"

His old and wrinkly face looked up at me, and then his eyes softened. "Ah, it's Sakura."

"Yes, yes. Give me that, I'll do the rest!" I quickly said.

He waved his hand, "No, no, let me do it."

I was about to argue, but he said, "let my old bones exercise a little. I can't sit at my office all day, you know."

I then blinked, and said, "OK... how are the tortoises?"

He chuckled. "Ari died last month."

"I'm so sorry." I quickly said.

He then nodded while sprinkling fertilizers while watering the herbs, "yes, yes. She was a good tortoise. She was always so calm and peaceful, and she got us through some hard times... I thought she would outlive Jonathan, but I was wrong. She's simply been through too much to continue on... She was only seventy-three years old."

I didn't know what to say, so I remained silent.

He then sighed. "Your grandmother gave me Ari."

I didn't know that! So I gasped, "oh, professor, why don't you come to our house and tell her the news? I'm sure she would want to hear it."

He shook his head. "I promised her I would never set foot in that place."

My mind just exploded. Hold up, hold up, hold up.

"Why!?" I asked.

He give me a slight smile, then said, "Sakura, you're so young. You have a full life ahead of you-go live it. Don't be here couped up with an old geezer like me!"

I looked at him with the largest eyes I could master, "Sarutobi-sama..."

He patted me on my hair and motioned for me to move on. I had no choice but to walk towards the exit.

I really don't want to, because my "date" with Uchiha Sasuke is in four hours.

IV.

I was rolling around in bed after shower debating on what to wear, but was then reminded that it's Uchiha Sasuke. Who the fuck cares. I hate him, and I hate all of them. So I put on a t-shirt and then a pair of jeans. Afterwards, I wore my peacoat, which gives a small sense of formality, which in actual truth, it doesn't. Once it comes off, me in my t-shirt and jeans will probably infuriate him. And I snicker at that.

Well, what we're going to do we don't require clothes.

So at six, he pulled up to our sidewalk, and I exited. Nanna saw me, because she glared at me, "where do you think you're going on a Friday night?"

I sighed, and explained in detail, "Nanna, I'm going on a date. You can't expect me to never date again?"

She was about to open her mouth again, but I immediately blocked her off by asking, "Nanna, what was going on between you and Sarutobi-san?"

Her expression changed a fraction as she literally pushed and rushed me out the door, "enjoy your date, girl. Call if anything happens."

Hmph. Interesting. Must remind myself to dig this up again.

No surprise, this guy drives a sports car. But it's blood-red, and it's such a unique color that I couldn't take my eyes off of it. He was wearing shades, and let's just admit, shades makes everybody forty percent cooler. He lowered it a little, revealing his eyes as he give me a contempt look, "you're wearing jeans?"

I stood still.

He then said, "nevermind, it doesn't matter."

"Mhmm." I made a grunt and boarded. Since I know nothing about cars, I didn't really care about it. I am, however, interested in his suit. "Nice suit." I complimented, "Valentino?"

"Fioravanti." He corrected.

Whoa. Money bag right here. Is he showing off? Going on a date on Fioravanti? I meant, I think I deserve a Polo, at best. He obviously read my mind, because he said, "I just finished an important conference."

Oh screw him.

"Maybe you should go home and change." I said.

He gave me a questioning look as he made a drastic turn to the main road. I quickly held on and said, "well, because of your suit, it shouldn't be on the floor. Like, it shouldn't even be hanged in the hotel closet. We should get it to the dry cleans and then place it back to-"

He gave me another look and then said, "if you cared so much, why did you come in jeans?"

"I did not know that you were going to wear that!" I argued.

He rolled his eyes.

I then bit my lips. I should not care, I should not care, I should not care. But what the fuck, I am very assertive about this. Clothing, brands, and makeup are not just superficialities. They are our weapons, our covers, our protection in society. We should always be mindful of what we wear and what we cake on our face, because it has became the basic instinct of how one should survive here.

Obviously the Uchihas knew mastered the strategy to thrive in this world in all aspects.

"I, um, how was your family?" I asked.

He replied. "They're fine."

"Erika is in my research class. She's wonderfully smart." I said.

He then looked at me, "What does that say about you?"

Before I explode, he quickly asked, "Where do you want to go for dinner?"

"We're actually having dinner?" I was surprised.

"I'm hungry."

I then decided immediately, "Eden."

"..." He gave me another look, "Do you think you're allowed in?"

I pursed my lip, and didn't say anything. He didn't either as he pulled into Eden's front door five minutes later. A valet took his keys and parked the car for him, while he led me inside. A waitress came and asked, "How many, sir?"

"Two." he replied.

She then smiled professionally, "would you mind if I take your coats?"

He took it off, and I watched in heartache as he tossed it to her. I then reluctantly took mine off, and immediately when it's off, they both stared at me, because I'm wearing a t-shirt that has a picture of a cartoon sponge on it.

The waitress snapped out of it the fastest. She quickly said, "this way-"

"Make it secluded." Sasuke quickly averted his eyes from my shirt, even though I have a feeling he doesn't quite know whether to sneer or to be angry.

"Here's our menu, I'm Tenten, and I'll be your server this evening." A black haired girl emerged, and smiled at both of us. Unfortunately when she saw my shirt she went to fits of giggles that she tried very hard to control, and then she quickly apologized and said, "Miss, you have a very unique taste."

I then challenged and pointed to my shirt. "Ten bucks that you can't name five characters from the same show as this guy."

She immediately said, "Mr. Crabs, Squidward, Patrick, Sandy, and Plankton!"

I stared, and she stared back.

Finally I said, "Tenten, what the hell are you doing working here?"

She first laughed, but then immediately restrained herself and whispered, "Sakura, shhh, I'm working. I'll tell you all later."

Sasuke cleared his throat, and Tenten quickly behaved. "I'm sorry, Uchiha-san, sir."

I rolled my eyes and then told Sasuke, "please include what I lost in her tip. I didn't bring my wallet."

He ignored me and ordered, "I'll have the beef ribeye, and she'll have the Brome Lake duck."

I had no objections. Tenten went away with our orders and I breathed out, "Wow, she's so independent! It's like she's superwoman."

He frowned, "are you not nervous?"

"Of course I am." I said.

"And?"

"And what?"

"And you're not thinking of backing out?"

I examined him as closely as I could. After reading absolutely nothing from his eyes, I said, "Sasuke, I am a clever girl. I'd like to think. But that does not make me knowledgeable and experienced. In fact I cannot deny that I am ignorant. I do have a curiousity and fascination, but only in theory. I rarely like to act upon what I research into. This is perhaps the one thing, that I am so sure of. I need to get rid of it, I need to move on. I need to find someone I have absolutely no emotional attachment with, and fuck him."

He said drily, "I'm honoured."

"I'm surprised you agreed." I continued, "because I thought you'd be too busy, or you value your ... whatever you call it, with Naruto. Turns out, there's no real friendship between guys either.

"Friendship isn't friendship unless its tested. Even if it did, it cannot ever ascend above profit." He commented, then tilted his head to ponder. "I don't think you are above Naruto to me. But I had a rough week and I would rather not pay someone. I'm tired of the ones I already have, and I'm too impatient to look for another that must have her health examined."

"Do you not buy virgins?" I asked in surprise.

He was annoyed at my frankness. "That wouldn't be moral, would it?"

"You?" I blurted.

"Yes, me." Sasuke was even more impatient, "tell me, what other impression do you have of me other than that time you caught me releasing steam?"

"Is that what you call it?" I sneered.

He raised his hand, "there's no reasoning with you. You're too stubborn to worth my time to even explain."

"Wonderful." I replied wearily.

He tossed a glance at me, then sighed, "Sakura, you're still so young. You have so much of the world you've yet to see of. You may have some insight in critical thinking or reasoning, but your moral righteousness does not justify your existence in society. You cannot judge or base anyone on what you learnt in school."

"You sound like nanna." I said.

He replied. "I'm glad someone sane lives in that house."

"Tell me, then." I urged. "What is it that I should to ... uh... reverse my ignorance?"

"You should care less." That's his response. "You should judge everything with an open mind, instead of a grain of salt, and closing off the first wave of pain hits." He sighed. "I don't know why I'm saying this. You're like a teenage girl, seeking comfort and revenge in petty ways."

I want to pour my wine down his tux.

He must've sensed it, because he calmly moved my wine glass away from my reach.

"And you then." I rebutted. "You have no flaws?"

"Of course I do." He ran a hand through his hair and unbuttoned the first two button of his shirt. "Mine is that I couldn't care less."

I stared at him as if he's crazy, and he stared me back.

This makes sense then. It's the reason why I want this revenge on Naruto, and it's the reason that he agreed to it. Because there is no way that he would care. There is no way that he could. It's not in his nature, and I'm betting anything that his nature involves profit and selfish benefits.

"Wonderful." I said drily.

Our entree came, and both of us dug in. He must've been really hungry, because he went at his food with some what a little grace, but taking each bite larger than usual.

"You didn't eat today?"

"Too busy." He said between chews. "Drank coffee all day."

Sudden pity flowed into my heart. He give me a glance and then smirked. And immediately I retracted my feelings.

"Let me guess." He finished most of his entree and slowed down. "You were the one that cooked. You were the one who did housework. You were the one who picked out his cloths, shopped for him, planned the dates."

"It's a girl's duty." I argued.

"Of course." He give me an edge. "See? You care too much."

"He never argued against it."

"Because he was too fucking in love."

"And you woke him up? You pulled him out of that spell?" I asked sarcastically.

He shrugged. "Really, I didn't do anything. That spell you're talking about, wore off the moment that Hyuuga girl started emphasize with him. So in truth, you lost him yourself."

I want to stab him.

He must've sensed that too, because he carefully reached over and took my knife away from my plate and said affectionately, "try some of this rib. It's delicious."

I was too mad to speak, so I laid my fork down and drank.

"I'm curious." He asked, "What is it that attracted you to him?"

"He's wonderful." I replied.

"But not perfect?"

I gave him a look, "perfect enough."

He suddenly sighed. "You did grow up, then."

I was immediately confused."What do you mean?"

He put his fork down after adding some untouched ribs to my plate. He was debating whether to tell me something or not. I urged him to.

"When you were young." He recalled. "I remembered that you were so infatuated with me. You were... I dare say no more than eight or nine? When our family needed help from your grandmother. We went for weekly sessions. I was a teenager back then, and you wouldn't let me go the moment you saw me.

The audacity!

I glared at him. "BS!"

He shrugged. "I could tell. I was exactly the type in the novels you read. The dark or mysterious...all that. Which was the reason I was mildly surprised when Naruto announced his engagement. I thought for a moment that you did grow up from all that, and you begin to develop a deeper relationship with him. It could've ended well."

"But in your opinion, I blew it?" I asked with sarcasm.

"Either of you could've tried something. Naruto did his best. He even a restraining order and two trips to the hospital from liver failure."

My heart strung up.

Sasuke then continued, "but you didn't do anything. In fact you built a solid wall around yourself, therefore severing any possibility of your happiness. Which makes me just wander, do you enjoy emotional sadism?"

"Yes." I replied, staring at him straight up.

He looked into my eyes-and at that moment, I was lost in them.

"Don't fall in love with me." He said.

My ears could hear him, but I couldn't comprehend him, because I was so lost in him that I lost the sense of self. So whatever it was, I whispered, "OK".

Then he kissed me.

It was the only kiss he gave me that night.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

A/N: Sorry to end it right here. It's getting a bit long. I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while... From now on, count on weekly updates.


	10. Chapter 10

June 10th, 2013

I.

It had to be you.

II.

Well first of all, ouch.

I don't really recall the details of what the heck happened that night, but it's safe to say that I'm not a virgin anymore. I just know that it feels so good... So fucking good.

I think I was half drunk, and I don't recall how we got to a hotel. But we did, and he was on top of me before I have the chance to protest. He knows I just showered, and he was breathing into my hair, and I wanted to cry.

Not from fear, he didn't do any kinky stuff. Just straight up vanilla sex. OK right now I'm not going to pretend that I'm innocent and not know the knowledge of different kinds of sex, which Hinata probably doesn't. The thing is, I knew sex, but actually never had it.

What saddened me was that it was completely carnal. I didn't know if it's something sad or something to celebrate on. There was lots of passion, but not much variety of emotion. I felt he was like fire, scorching me up in to charcoal. It felt good, having a man to lean against, having someone to be there. He gave me attention, and observed me to see if there's anything I like or didn't like.

He was so handsome.

His beauty could pierce my heart open. Especially to someone as sensitive as I am. He is just so perfect, with his carefully sculpted face and narrow, deep eyes. His hair sleek and silky, and it was something I love to tangle my hands in. He let me, but I could tell he did not like it.

Every time he thrusts in, I couldn't help but make a small moan, and he feeds off from it. I suspect it boosts his already massive ego.

At last, when my climax came, I finally felt what it's like to fly up to the sky, to have someone toss you up to the most pleasurable corner of the heavens. I couldn't help myself, but I scratched his back with my nails, and that seemed to only please him more as he thrusts further. I could've fainted-I probably blacked out for a few moments there-because he came, and I don't remember how.

Great Sakura. Sex. You experienced sex without emotional attachment, how does it feel?

Well first of all, it hurts.

Second of all, it's humiliating.

Before morning came, I forced myself to wake up earlier than him, and snuck out. The morning after awkward conversation is just something I couldn't handle. Then I sneaked into a drug store and bought morning after pills and a bottle of water.

I gulped them down in the back of a taxi. I couldn't go home-nanna will ask. So I called Sai.

He was quite understanding for me waking him up at six in the morning. Probably because we bully him so much at lab that he's too meek or couldn't careless to fight back. He saw the state I was in but did not ask questions.

He's also rich. I don't know how or why. He lived in a penthouse suit somewhere downtown, and he offered me fresh robes and towels and a shower. I took advantage of them gratefully, and came out facing a note written by him, explaining he had to go on some errands, and I was welcome to stay as long as I like, in the guest room.

And by that time I was so dead tired that I slept for like, a million hours.

No really, just twelve.

III.

It occurred to me, how much we are willing to sacrifice for love, but then ultimately we are only in doing it to protect ourselves.

It really is selfish, then, to want this love when I wasn't willing to give it myself.

I wonder if I should rethink my whole existence.

IV.

I had a wonderful dream, actually.

At first I was so tired that I slept like a baby, and afterwards I begin to get flashes of images and dream vision. I dreamt that I'm in the tropicals and right beside a beach. It was sunny and very cool. I was wearing a light purple sundress, and wearing a large sun hat with a pair of shades. I look quite cool, and I was walking along the beach searching for beautiful colored stones. I found a lot, actually. So much that I begin to gather them all on my dress.

Then I reached the edge of the beach, (yes in my dream there is an edge) and I stopped because I saw Sasuke.

Him and his Fioravanti suit. He was standing there, emotionless.

I saw him I was so surprised I dropped all my colored stones and ran to him. He extended his arms out, and I ran to his embrace. Except-there really isn't any, because the moment I touched him, everything fell into darkness.

How fucking wonderful.

And then I was woken up by some banging on the door. At first it was in my subconscious, and I covered my head with a pillow to get rid of it, but it's getting more and more presistant, accompanied by some yelling. I couldn't take it anymore, so I jumped off the guestroom bed.

At first I stood still and looked around-whoa, I'm not at home. Then the memory from last night came rushing, and I quickly tried to get to the door. Too bad I was a little limp, and then I tried very hard to make it to the door without pulling a muscle.

"Whoa is it?" I yelled in annoyance.

"Open the fucking door!" I heard.

I quickly opened it, and a very angry blond haired-girl came in. Behind her, stood Naruto.

I thought I was seeing things, and I rubbed my eyes, no, still there.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him.

The girl was questioning me like machine gun blasting through rounds, "What are you doing here? What's your relationship with Sai? Where is the bastard? Did you sleep here?"

I stared at them, and decided it's time to go.

"Where are you going!? I'm not done with you!" She yelled at me.

I shut the door to the guest room, and changed in to my cloths from yesterday. Sai cleaned and dried them. Ah how thoughtful. After getting my jacket and bag, I was half way out the door when Naruto asked, "Sakura-san, what did you do?"

I turn to look at him, and he was looking at me with worried eyes. My first instinct was to tell him to fuck off, but then I was reminded to have closure and to let go. So I said quietly, "I don't think you're in any position to question me. I did what I wanted to."

The girl immediately jumped in front of me and asked, "Did you sleep with Sai?"

"What? Ew! No!" I yelled.

She seemed immediately relaxed. But then was suspicious again, "What are you doing here?"

"What are YOU doing here?" I asked back.

"He's my boyfriend." She answered.

I stared, then said, "Sai is my classmate. I needed a place to crash this morning. He was nice enough to offer me the guest room and dry cleaned my cloths from before. I don't think that's going to happen if I was fucking him."

She stopped yelling. "Oh."

"Yes." I said.

She then turned around to Naruto, "Man, Naruto, what the hell! You scared me fucking half to death!"

Naruto lowered his head, "Somebody told me that Sakura was going to-I don't know... this is all so messed up.

"Who told you?" I narrowed my eyes suspiciously, and what did he or she say?

He averted his eyes, "Sasuke called me this morning, saying you might be missing. So I checked with everyone..."

I rolled my eyes. "Naruto, we're done."

He sighed.

The blond haired girl said, "this is just another mess I don't want to get into. Girl, you gotta leave. Naruto, goodbye. Say hello to my brother for me. See you next week."

"Right." Naruto said before turning towards the door. I followed him out as the door slammed behind us.

"Who was that?" I asked in annoyance.

"Temari. She's Gaara's sister." Naruto answered.

"Oh." I blinked.

He turned to me, "Are you ok?"

I ignored him and limped towards the elevator.

"Sakura!"

I sighed, turning to him. "Naruto, it's a messed up world we're living in, isn't it?"

He looked confused.

"Remember?" I chuckled at the memory, "remember the night when you were in bed with Uchiha?"

He watched as I laughed harder. "What if I say that I was in his bed yesterday? Except this time, there was penetration."

This successfully angered him, or, did something to him. Because he was stunned and he turned pale.

"He isn't right for you, Sakura." He whispered.

I went into the elevator, and he followed me in. I sighed because I suddenly found all this is pointless. I thought I would be very happy to see him mad, but I'm not, I'm not, I'm fucking not. I don't wish for him to be sad, because it would not make me happy. What would make me happy is if I go back in time and fix everything that went wrong. What would make me happy is if I went back in time and forgive him when I had the chance.

Thinking this, I started sobbing.

He was all over me and pulling out tissues from his jacket, comforting me with gentle words and death threats to Uchiha.

Hinata is better for him. She's more right. She fits him, and I don't. I don't because I don't even see him for who is actually is. I was too selfish to deserve him. He really is like a sun, all forgiving and precious. His rays lights up everybody, and he deserves someone who would follow him for who he is and adore him without pretense. I was too into ruling over him and commanding him to do whatever I wanted. He didn't complain, he never did, but I know I was not reasonable. Deep in my heart, when I was still with him I thought that I was too good for him. But it's not true. Now that he's not mine anymore, I realized it was actually me who doesn't deserve him.

When the elevator reached the bottom floor, I wiped my tears away and smiled at him.

"Naruto, I wish for nothing more than to go back in time and work this all out. We both know it's too late and you've moved on."

He looked a little intimidated, but I hugged him and then kissed his forehead, "please be happy."

V.

"And that's why, I think I've finally moved on. Whenever I look at him, I don't have this urge to stab him. But I feel a little melancholy." I told Kimimaro-senpai.

He look worse than before, even paler and thinner, which I did not think it was possible.

"That's good." He smiled while drinking the tea I made for him.

"Do you think fate arranged us to be this way? A person who offers everything is fated to be bound with a person who is too ignorant to cherish it?" I asked.

He pondered this, then replied, "of course not, Sakura-chan."

"Then it's so hard to find someone, it's like a miracle."

He shook his head, "Sakura, I'm sure you've heard this before, but you're too absolute. You search for things that aren't couldn't normally be accomplished by others."

"And Sasuke said I'm too immature too." I said. "I thought about it, maybe I was. Because when I was with Naruto I did think I was above him."

"Oh that's normal." Kimimaro smiled, "That's just Uchiha trying to get into your head. Most people get the feeling when they're with Naruto. Maybe not that Hyuuga girl now."

"Yeah, they're fucking perfect together." I grumbled.

"Hahaha." Kimimaro laughed, then turned serious. "All joking aside, Sakura, I don't think it's a good idea for you to interact with Uchiha Sasuke."

I raised an eyebrow.

"Naruto is at least right on this one." He said, "Uchiha Sasuke deals with business that are dangerous and shady. It's not right for a girl like you, and you should stay as far away from it as possible. Not to mention, he has so many enemies that could make up an army and destroy him."

"Uh..."

"And he won't love you back." Kimimaro said, with his eyes staring straight at me. "You're a girl full of contemplating on love or what it means to be in love. He isn't. He will use whatever he deem necessary to succeed. You have no use to him right now, perhaps in the future you will, and you must know the difference of when he approaches you, does he want sex, or your demise."

I sighed, because I don't know how to answer it without sounding stupid. He is like the same level as Kakashi is in my eyes. He's so wise and intelligent and observant that I'm sure I would never defy with whatever point he was making.

"Be good." He said. "You're already very clever. Be extra careful with Sasuke."

I nodded, and he leaned back and closed his eyes. I assumed the conversation between us is over, so I snuck out as quietly as possible.

VI.

Grandmother told me that she received a invitation from the Uchihas, asking us to attend the semi-annual charity drive.

They say it's a drive, and they say it's for charity, it's actually a very grand and high class party that influential people compliments other influential people on their success in the first two business quarter. At the end of the day, maybe they get together and write a check for the charity of the Uchiha family's choosing. Other than that I really don't see the reason why they would get together. I rarely attended, and Grandmother was always rarely attends too, but this summer, she wants me to attend.

I really don't know what to say. She say it's sort of like a rite of passage for me, to push me into the world of adults and experience what it's like to survive out there. But the point is, I don't know how to survive out there-and I don't want to! I want to stay couped up in a poor man's house and just live my life without the glamour... Wait, but I do want pretty clothes. So it's all very conflicted in my mind.

The party itself is in like a week, on a Saturday evening. The hosts are the Uchiha family, of course, and they're having it at their house. Knowing them, the mayor and etc will definitely be there. So if the mayor's there, then Naruto is gonna be there.

Maybe I should use this as an excuse to prove to everyone that I've moved on. Since I've already made my closure with the man himself, why wouldn't I go?

Right, there poses the question of the younger Uchiha himself. The guy who is merciless, ruthless, cold, manipulative, and all in all, not a very nice guy.

However, I have a feeling that the entire world would be at my side and asking me to stay the hell away from him. It's not like I'm clinging on to him, for fuck's sakes. He is the least thing on my mind-I have too much other crap to do.

Speaking of which, the job hunting is not going well. I really don't want to resort to like, begging Uchiha Itachi to give me a position in his company, but at the same time a desk job that would fit my schedule is very hard to find. I mean, I still have to attend school. Being a grad student is full time work already. What possible position could I possibly take that is still a desk job, but would fit around my day classes?

The answer, is none.

Speaking of which, I asked nanna if she remembered that when I was young I clung to Uchiha Sasuke and didn't let him go. She actually confirmed to the story. How come I have no recollection of this!?

It's getting increasingly hard not to call him.

VII.

Whoa! Had drinks with Tenten today.

It was a Friday night, and I was very bored. I looked online and saw that most of my Facebook friends are ones that doesn't care to talk to, so I scrolled down until I see Tenten. I asked her, "you working today?"

She immediately replied, "no, at home in a bath, stewing in my own filth."

I immediately loved her.

"Drinks and wings?" I asked, hoping she isn't the type of girl who would find wing eating offensive.

She send a smiley face and, "see you at OJ's in two hours?"

"Alright!"

I quickly hopped into the shower and got ready. It feels so nice having someone to hang out with that I'm not to familiar with. I mean, we are in the same research group together, but that's basically it. I usually stuck with Ino, and now I'm thinking I should expand my horizons.

This time, I really did wear just jeans and a T-shirt. Except this time, the T-shirt is of our city's sports team. I grabbed my jacket and a random leather bag and stuffed my wallet inside and walked out.

OJ's is two bus rides away from my house, and with commute it takes like forty minutes to get there, so I finished prep work by putting lotion and blow dried my hair, nothing else.

Thank god when I saw Tenten, she's in a tank top and a hoodie. I smiled at her appreciatively and we both walked in.

"We have to run tomorrow." Tenten observed. "Look at all these wings."

"Yeah." I said, "I want to try parmesan and blue cheese..."

"What about hot wings? I heard they have the most amazing hot sauce ever..."

"Ok let's order that too. Thank god it's wing's day. So an order of parmesan and an order of hot?"

"Yes! And two beers?"

"Ohhhhh OJ's have a new tab. Let's see... Belgian chocolate beer...Oh my gosh, raspberry pop. Is this bar leaning towards the other side?"

"Let's order an order of each!"

This is exciting. A girl who would actually eat this stuff with me. Ino would take one look at wings and walk away.

So we spent like ten minutes ordering and discussing the menu, and then we started talking. The first thing, of course, is her asking me. "What the heck were you doing with Uchiha Sasuke the other night?"

I coughed and then said, "I ... well. It's not what you think. It's not a date."

She laughed, "I can tell. If it was, I don't think you'd be wearing a Sponge Bob tee."

I grimaced, "I made a mistake with him. Now I regretted it."

"Yeah, I understand." She sighs.

"What? What do you mean? You went out with him?" I asked in surprise, because... well, it's surprising.

"No!" Tenten glared. I quickly retreated slightly. She continued, "I meant that, I heard rumours, and saw things. You know, working in an restaurant, gossip spreads fast."

"Oh tell me, please please tell me." I begged her.

She eyed me skeptically, "you're not setting me up are you? If you're like, Uchiha's girlfriend and you're trying to get him into trouble-"

"No." I said, pulling out my phone. "Look, I haven't called or texted him ever since that day you saw us. We were not involved in any way at all. Like, forever."

"I see." She laughed, then said, "Well, I know this girl in our restaurant. You know in every environment there is this one girl you just want to smash her face against a wall?"

I nodded, because I totally understand.

"Well, this girl claims she slept with like, most powerful men in our city. And I was like, uh, she probably didn't sleep with the mayor. But what's disgusting and infuriating is that I saw her slipping her number to Uchiha, and then he took her home that day. She even ditched work."

"Your manager-!" I gasped.

"If it's to please the great Uchiha, no one would dare to defy him. What pissed me off is that I had to work like, double the workload I was assigned to. I am at the end of my ropes already. I fucking have no idea how he could even take her to his bed. I mean, he's rich enough to have some sort of choice, right? Obviously no, he had to take whatever was at hand."

Oh fuck, I was at hand. But I didn't say that, so I nodded and agreed, "the bastard!"

"And besides, she came back the next day with vivid details of how her sexual experience was." Tenten then giggled. "She said his cock was this big." She made a gesture.

I almost choked.

"Are you ok?" She quickly give me a napkin.

"Yes, I'm just... shocked." I blinked.

"Yeah. I know." Tenten rolled her eyes. "That bitch can sure exaggerate."

"Well." I sighed, "It doesn't really matter. Since he is that much of a bastard, I don't think there are anyone who is willing to love him anyways. If they have an ounce of respect for herself she would stay away from him... after she knows how much of dick he is."

Tenten eyed me.

I quickly said, "That night made me realize how horrible he is."

"Really? Pray tell." She was intrigued.

"Well." I said. "He's dangerous, and he's very mean, and he's skeptical too. He has like, this totally massive ego. And guess what he wore to Eden? Fioravanti!"

"Ah, the little bitch!" Tenten exclaimed. "Does the Uchiha all just throw money around like it was nothing? I hope he gets some stains on it."

"Me too." I said.

"But, did you see his brother!?" Tenten's gossip face is on as her face leaned in and whispered.

I shook my head, "a long time ago, but I can't remember much."

"You should've seen his brother." She sighed in completely ecstasy. "I'm having trouble believing if he's real."

"Ah, potato, potahto. All Uchihas have this... gene that just ensure they win the genetic lottery of awesome appearances." I waved my hand. "You know Erika?"

"Who?"

"Ari! The girl in our class. The fourteen year old."

"Oh yeah."

"She's Uchiha Itachi's daughter."

Tenten was so shocked she dropped her wing from her finger onto the table. "What?!" She gasped at me.

"Mhmm." I chewed on the chicken, mhmm juicy.

"You're shitting me." Tenten gawked.

"Nope. I saw her mother and uncle picking her up one day."

"No shit." Tenten still gawked. "I thought she was just some... beautiful robotic doll that Sarutobi-san made and put her in our group just to spy on us."

I roared with laughter at that one.

"Seriously!" She was trying very hard to convince me. "She is fucking creepy, man. The way she moves, it's like grace had puked all over her. And her cloth and her bags! Oh my god. And she's so pretty!"

"I know. And she barely talks to us."

"I just thought because of the doll reason..."

Then we spent the next hour and half gossiping about everything in existence.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: Tenten is nice :)


	11. Chapter 11

to me

June 16, 2013.

I.

Hmph. The Uchiha Charity case was ... interesting.

I really should just... burst out with whatever I have to say right now, because holy fuck. But I'm teaching myself the art of suspense, and I shall learn to start at the beginning.

Since nanna isn't coming, I had this extra invitation, so I decided to ask Tenten to come. She was so excited, because she has never been to one of these fancy parties. Me neither, but I'm less excited because of all the people that are going to be there. I made a list of the people that I should talk to, and the people that I shouldn't talk to because it's fucking messed up. Uchiha Sasuke is on top.

And we spend the entire day time in my room and around our house preparing ourselves so we would at least be a bit presentable. We did each other's hair. I curled hers and then twisted it into a half up-do with some strands hanging. She straightened mine and did a chignon and pinned a sakura hair ornament with small dangles on the side. I was pleasantly surprised, and she stared at me with disdain that says, "bitch please, don't underestimate me."

Her dress is a short sleeve with a swan collar, but cut off at her chest. I really like it and I gasped at her when she wore it. It's so classy and traditional! I wore one black dress with spaghetti straps and some ruffles on the side. It's as simple as a formal dress can get. I really don't want to go over the top with this one, especially since I know I will be pigging out, that's what the ruffles are for-hiding my stomach.

Nanna gave us an envelope that contained the donations, and we took a cab.

Damn it, nobody told us that the Uchiha manor is so fucking far away. But it is. I mean, it's like almost on the other side of the town. Scratch that, it is.

And when the taxi approached, both of us gawked at it.

It's... it's a fucking castle, that's what it is. It's a fucking large castle with big stone bricks and marble busts of mythological figures. There's light-everywhere. On the lawns, on the drive ways, around the fountains, and even on top of the statues.

And needless to say, we're like, the only ones in sight that arrived in a taxi.

But we didn't care all that much, because we jumped off and walked towards the front... OK I really want to say door, but it's more like a gate. It's so large, adored with golden edges and different carvings on the surface and encased with different color glass-is it glass or is it quartz? I don't know.

The doorman bowed to us and opened the door for us. We quickly edged in, and our heels are greeted by polished marble floor that one could eat off of.

There must be like... a hundred people here. I think I'm going to be blinded by all the jewelries and sparkly dresses. I wouldn't recognize myself in a crowd in a situation like this.

Immediately we are greeted with the hosts. Man, the Uchiha family just lined up there at the front, and the guests are constantly going up and talking to them.

"Come on, it's only polite." Tenten tugged on my hand.

I grunted and we approached them.

Uchihas... Uchihas... How should I describe them?

They are very... eccentric. There you go.

I've already seen Erika and her mother, and Uchiha Itachi-he's like.. what the legends are made out of. The fuck. The only word I can describe him was "beautiful."

Be more specific you say? Well, huh. "Very beautiful."

I totally understood what Tenten meant when she said that she doubted if he is actually a human being. Because ... is it possible for someone that pretty to be alive?

He has a small faint scar on the edge of his nose to his cheek. It's actually so faint that it's barely noticeable. But that is the only flaw-and it's man made. So he was born beautiful.

I bowed to them because Tenten pinched me and reminded me that I was staring. I shook his hand, and his wife quickly hugged me, "I'm Chiro, I'm so sorry, Sakura-chan. I was so rude at you at the gallery."

"Huh?" I asked dumbly.

"With the interview." She said.

"Oh." I understood.

"Do you have a job?" She asked.

"No."

"Well then, I heard you got fired because of Sasuke. I am really sorry, Itachi, please help her find a job of her choosing."

"She's welcome at Uchiha Corp. anytime." Itachi said politely.

I was trying my hardest not to look at Itachi because I know that I will stare again. I wonder if it's possible to study his face-academically

"Well then, you can start Monday!" Chiro decided.

"OK." I said, because my mind was so not on the job. Until two seconds later I snapped back, "Wait, with what?"

"What would you like to do?"

"Just, any desk job is fine."

"Sasuke!" Chiro raised her voice a little and gestured for her brother-in-law to come.

I was still in shock when he came and asked, "Yes?"

Oh my god. My mind just went into shock plus shock. Double shock over drive. Sasuke's passive features seemed perfect, and he glanced at me and greeted me with a nod, which just blew my mind. I don't know why. My head is not functioning normally.

"Can you arrange Sakura a desk job on Monday?"

"Of course." He said.

Then they stared at me, and I looked around, "Uh, what?"

"Would it be ok? If you start on Monday?" Chiro asked.

At this point Erika was snickering, and Tenten quickly grabbed onto my arm and bowed to Chiro, "Uchiha-san, Sakura would like to say thank you for this opportunity and she would love to start on Monday. Oh, look at this, we're taking all of your time. I'm so sorry, let's go Sa, ku, ra." She emphasized on the last few syllables and dragged me away.

My mind was still in a dazed state when Tenten dragged me to a corner.

"I'm so sorry!" I snapped out of it before she started criticizing me. She rolled her eyes and said, "Common mistake. Uchiha's, they're all like that."

"The fuck." I blinked. "I don't know what just happened there, but I think they fried my brain."

Tenten laughed before pointing, "Look, free food."

"Hell yeah." I quickly said, already half running towards the trays of appetizers that waiters and waitresses are making rounds with.

I was about to reach for one, that's when I saw the Uchihas are now talking with Minato and Kushina. I then looked around, and found Naruto with Hinata on the other side, talking with each other. Hinata must've said something fucking funny because Naruto tilted his head and laughed.

I sighed, and then took a tart before returning to Tenten.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head.

She looked around the big hall, then understood. "Just don't look, baby, don't look."

I nodded dully, but my sunken heart was immediately lifted by the tart. "Oh my god, you've got to try this. Is this what clouds are made out of?"

Disdain, "It's butter, dear."

"I could've lived through life without that information."

"You could've. But-Oh look, Ino."

I looked at where she's pointing-yes. It is Ino. With her mother and father and her fiancee, in all their rich and power glory. I sighed, the world of girls are equally complicated.

"Tenten, we don't belong here." I said. "Look at this, look at all this shit. this isn't us."

"I know." Tenten also sighed. "Let's just go when we finish our entree. Maybe dessert-oh my god oh my god oh my god!"

She squeezed my arm, and I turned to look-as it turned out, it's Gaara.

Huh, maybe I hung around with him too much and he lost his appeal. I mean, a star is a star is a star. Besides he was just at my kitchen asking if there's any left over, and he sounded so cute my fame fever was washed away and replaced by kawaii-fever.

"Let's go ask for his autograph." Tenten sounded jittery.

"Sure." I shrugged. But the moment I took a step forward, she grabbed me on my arm and dragged me back.

What the heck, how much torture can my arm take!

"I'm sorry." She said, but she looked as if she's frozen. I followed her eyes, and saw a Hyuuga. It's not the girl this time.. or rather, it's the guy.

"Neji?" I asked in confusion, "do you have something against him?"

"He has something against me." She whispered.

"How is that possible? He's a chunk of ice!" I hissed.

"Oh for heavens sake." She said, "I... I just... Sigh. You know. I work in Eden."

"Go on..." I eyed her.

"Well, he came in one day, and I spilt hot soup all over him."

I stared.

"And then I took away his jacket promising I would dry clean it and return it to him. But I haven't."

"Why the heck not?" I asked.

"Because it's completely ruined!" She wailed quietly. "I went every where, but dude, the soup was butter squash. I tried my hardest, and I then talked to him, and he said since I can't return the jacket, I must pay it back with my body."

"I'm sure he's joking." I rolled my eyes.

Tenten laughed without humour, "Sakura, a guy like him, like them, would stop at nothing to get what they want. And besides, I know this. Once they played you, they won't remember you anymore."

"And?" I raised my eyebrow, because I was feeling guilty.

"I slept with him." She turned her head away.

I was so surprised that my grip tightened and my hand crushed the tart.

"Seriously?" I gasped.

"Why would I joke about this." Tenten frowned.

I quickly apologized. "I'm sorry, but it's all in the past, right? You slept with him once, and it's over."

"Yes but..." She hesitated.

"There's more!?" I gasped.

"Lower your voice!" She hissed. "I... well, this is something I'm not proud of. It's a well known fact that he is engaged."

"What!?" I don't know how much shock I could take today.

"You don't know?" She asked, "He's engaged to the... what's her name, the ... the girl who was in that psycho movie."

"Land of the Dead. Oh my god, he's engaged to Naomi Price?"

Tenten nodded, sounding bitter. "I was charmed by him. He was just so...So."

"I get it." I patted her arm. "It's not your fault. It was consensual."

"But I slept with a committed man..."

"Well think of it like this." I said to her, "You know how like Hollywood and famous starlets use each other to get gossip and raise their status, right?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Well, since Price is a star, it's probably because she needed to use him to get to where she is now. Maybe his money, or his family..."

Tenten sighed. "Either ways..."

"Don't be sad." I comforted. "Things like this happen. Besides, if he let that happen, then it means he's not really morally ethical, just like that Uchiha."

Tenten hugged me and whispered, "you're such a nice friend."

I hugged her back.

This was the second shock of the night. There are more to come, I'm saddened to say, and I think I was lucky not to end up with a heart attack.

Anyways, the head of the house made a speech, we all listened and then sat down. Then the servers begin to go around serving appetizers, then entrees. Tenten and I sat beside a bunch of other people whom we don't know the name of, and we're pretty sure that they're not from Konoha. We tried to only talk with each other. Since judging by the way they dress, they're a bunch of spoilt rich kids.

"I've always wondered how they ended up together." I whispered to Tenten.

"Who?"

"Uchiha Itachi and..."

"Oh." Tenten cut me off, "It's a very complicated story that spun like forty-five rumours."

"What? You know?"

"A general idea. Something to do with the Akatsuki. She uh.. I don't know. To be honest, I don't know how this started. She pursued him or he pursued her. Either ways both theories were very unlikely. I think she has been through a lot of pain."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

She shrugged. "She nearly died once. It was all over the news."

My heart suddenly squeezed up. It's because I believe she's actually a nice lady. She just got me a job, but it seemed like she suffered before she got to where she was, and I wonder if this is a rule. Suffer before happiness with marriages to Uchihas.

"Wine?" Tenten asked, I nodded numbly and she poured another glass for me.

"Tenten?"

"Yeah?"

I once again tossed a look at Ino and Naruto's table. I felt as if I should've belonged there. But I would rather be here, with her. I think deep in my heart, I lost something that couldn't be recovered, and it saddened me greatly that we were all once so close, but ultimately there's a wall between us that can't be crushed.

"I..." I sighed. Then shook my head, "I'm great. I'm just here for the food."

"Yes, think like that." She smiled lightly.

During the middle of our dinner, Neji approached us. What the ... And he greeted me with a nod, and then turned to Tenten, "May I talk to you?"

I was so nervous I held onto Tenten's arm like a baby panda to a saviour after a forest fire. She smiled at me and whispered, "it's more trouble for me if I don't go. I will be be back shortly, I promise."

But she didn't, and I was all alone for the next hour.

Around ten minutes after she leaves, I finished my wine, and discovered I might as well drink hers. It's so familiar what was in Neji's eyes. It's desire. Desire for sex, for control, for power over her. It's just blew my mind that he would be interested in her. I'm not that familiar with him but back when Hinata and I were still friends, he seemed like the cool brother we would never hang out with, but watch from afar. I admit I did admire him at some point. Who wouldn't? He is like another version of Sasuke, except I think he still has a little morality in him.

After dinner, I was stuffed. They sent in desert too, so I ordered for both me and Tenten. On the off chance she did come back, she would enjoy a very delicate and pretty piece of Tiramisu. I ordered a raspberry cheesecake in my plate, knowing after this dinner I will probably be 2 pounds heavier than before.

That's when suddenly the hall went quiet, and everybody all looked towards one direction. I looked too, and realized they were all looking at Hinata and Naruto, and they stood up together.

What?

Naruto first begin. "Friends, families, I would like to thank Chiro-san and Itachi-san to host this wonderful event..."

We all clapped.

Then it's, "...and I realize world hunger is a main priority of our city..."

We all clapped after two minutes of his heartfelt speech on the charity itself.

Then, "We have been thinking about this for quite some time, and we realized now is the best time to announce as any, as we would like to inform you all that you are cordially invited to our wedding this Christmas, with invitations in your mail boxes..."

I couldn't believe this. They've known each other like, two month! My eyes widened and my face is draining blood as I hear words but couldn't comprehend then right away.

"... Hinata got me through some dark times in my life, and I would like to thank her for all she has done, and I realized she is my number one priority..."

OK this is just insane. She got HIM through his DARK times in HIS life?

Did Naruto lie to me? Did they hook up a long time ago? Like...

I didn't need to speculate, as his next words confirmed, "... on a technically, this day is our half year anniversary from the moment..."

He then said something about kiss, or touch, or he just knew. My head was rolling in circles when I remembered when we were engaged, he just shouted to the whole street, and then yelled into the phone at his parents and friends to inform the news while I cooked in the kitchen. To this day I remember his wild happiness on his face when he yelled into his phone, "She said yes! Sasuke, she said yes!"

I couldn't take anymore of this, because by now the speech was over, they kiss, and everybody was clapping. I don't know if it's paranoia or pride, I could feel some people turning their head to stare at me. I stood up very slowly and wanted to back out of this hall without seeming too conspicuous, but the moment I stood up and tried to take a step towards the exit, I tripped over the chair itself and made a very loud cluttering sound.

Oh, I was so mortified!

This time definitely all eyes on me, and I shivered before I stood up and straightened myself.

Apparently Naruto doesn't even know I was here, with like at least a hundred people here. He blinked and gasped, "Sakura?"

I pulled out the donation from my purse and left it on the table. As I was backing out, Chiro suddenly stood up and said, "Sakura-chan, please-"

Her husband silenced her by placing a hand on her arm. I then shifted my eyes and stared into the eyes of Uchiha Sasuke, who was passively watching me.

Deciding this day could NOT get any worse, I strode past the tables and into the front, where the Uchihas sat. Sasuke stood up as I approached, ready to stop me when I do something stupid. I first bowed to Chiro and thanked her for the meal. She nodded numbly.

And then I turned to Sasuke, and reached up, pulling his collar down towards my face so I could mash my lips against his.

Thank god he didn't stop me, because that would've been more embarrassing.

Then I let go after a few seconds, while we didn't do much other than suck on each other's lips and a little tongue. I was too mortified to even enjoy it, and I knew I had to get out now, before I start crying. I tried to push him away, but he held onto me and pushed my head against his chest while I heard him saying to his brother's family, "Please excuse me, I need to send her home."

He then led me out.

Throughout, I was like a zombie, staring straight ahead, emotionless.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: Sigh..


	12. Chapter 12

June 19, 2013

I.

Well, I suppose I should continue with where I left off last time.

It would be nice to say that he sent me home after that fiasco of a night. But we didn't go home... well, at least, my home.

Before I could recall what happened, I was on the floor in his luxury apartment, and he was on top of me.

He touched me and whispered against my lips,"does it still hurt? Tell me, baby, tell me."

His voice was so gentle I wanted to cry, but no crying at that moment. I want him to fuck me, so I shook my head and nibbled on his shoulders, which tasted good, by the way. Entirely masculine.

He thrusts into me without much foreplay. I was already very wet from his touches. He showed me how to please him, where I should touch, or where I should kiss to make him feel good as well. I was a very good student.

I suppose neither of us felt guilty. He believed I was using him to get over Naruto, and I believed he needed a fuck. It was just... the nature of things. We did it, and I was almost at the point of passing out until he flipped me over and did it again.

We didn't reach a second time previously because of how much it hurts and I was very sore. But this time, he showed me the meaning of true pleasure. I stared into his eyes, and he dragged me down the hell with the deepest, darkest desire I could experience from him. It was decadent, sinful, and I should've ran out the doors after the the second time, but I was completely mesmerized.

After the second time, there was a third, and a forth, and a fifth. I think towards the end I was half passed out as he bit his lips and thrusts inside me. I was too tired that I didn't have the time to cry. Even if I did, it would be begging him not to stop instead of about Naruto.

I sunk in a heavy, coma-like sleep immediately after.

II.

I could've fallen in love with him so easily and I wouldn't know what hit me.

III.

I woke up naturally, after a long and heavy sleep. By then it was all in the afternoon of the next day, and there was no one around me.

I was so thirsty I got up from the bed and wobbled into the kitchen to drink from the tap. Afterwards, I realized I was naked.

But there was no one in the house. I called out, and no one responded. Huh, not even a note.

I strolled back to the bedroom to my cloths, but then I was reminded of how dirty I was. Yes, shower, I need a shower.

I poked my head into the bathroom. Oooo, fancy. It has a large tub that has massage pad, also a large glass shower area-

Hold up.

I went to the drawers. There seemed to be unused utensils and condoms in the drawer. I then I ran out, pulled open the closets. It's bare except for a few outfits that still has it's tag on.

I went into the kitchen, there's nothing in the fridge, and there's barely pots and pans on the stove. The entire place is so clean and empty that a realization dawned on me. This is not his home. He doesn't live here. He brings women he'd like to fuck over here, and then he leaves.

I sighed, knowing I had no right and was in no position to be angry. It's what men like him does. There is no doubt about that.

The shower took a total of five minutes, I got out as quickly as I went in, and wrapped my hair and body in fluffy and new white towels. My under ware is destroyed, so I threw it into the trash and hooked my bra back on. The dress itself is one piece and it covered up my body. My jacket-a long trench, was on the ground in the living room. I picked it up, dusting it off and put it on. When I finished with my pumps and found where my bag was. I reached in and got out my phone. Holy shit, fifteen missed calls?

The phone lit up buzzed again before I could check caller ID. I flipped it on and put it near my ears, "hello?"

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto's voice came.

I sighed.

"I'm so sorry." Naruto said into the phone.

What could he possibly be sorry for?

"I told you we're done." I reached for the door knob and walked out of his apartment.

"But I didn't know you were going to be there, I thought-"

"It doesn't matter." I sighed. "I moved on, too."

"No, no, no, no, no, you can't move on to Sasuke, anyone but him-Sakura-chan!"

"Naruto." I said coldly into the phone, "I don't think you have the right to criticize who I love when you... moved on like, a month after you cheated?"

"It wasn't like that-"

"I really am not interested in whatever you have to say. Yes, Naruto, I'm in love with... Uchiha Sasuke. I want him and fucked him and I'm willing to have his babies one day, alright? Please, from now on, let's just... not talk to each other ever again. You have thirty seconds to say what you have to say next before I hang up and list you in my blocked callers."

There was a few seconds of silence from the other end as Naruto sighed, "It wasn't like that... you were not supposed to be there."

"Goodbye." I hung up, and dialed for a taxi.

Wait, since this is downtown, as I walked out from the lobby, I found that I'm actually quite familiar with this area. I should be able to take the bus home, yep, yep.

As I got on the bus, I checked my contacts and missed calls. It's weird, but why didn't I hear from Tenten?

Thinking of this, I dialed her number and waited for it go to through.

"Hello?" A male voice picked up. I blinked and said, "Neji?"

"She's busy right now." He said.

I stubbornly refused, "I want to talk to her."

There was some shuffling sounds as her voice was put on to the phone. "Sakura? I'm fine. I'm just... a little ... I don't know."

"Ok, Tenten, if you're in trouble, say yes. If you're not, say no."

"No. I really am fine."

"Oh." I suddenly feel foolish. "I'm sorry for disturbing you."

"We're actually not in town at the moment." She whispered. "I'll be back in another few days, I promise you'd be the first I'd contact, ok?"

"Ok." I replied.

She hung up, and I was left staring into my phone.

He really loves her then.

IV.

Something really weird just happened to me. Huh.

I just got off the bus and was walking from the stop back to my house along the side walk, but I saw a guy standing outside our fence gates standing straight while looking inside, and he had a bunch of white lilies in his hands.

He looked very pale and solemn, with narrow and long eyes and slender fingers. His was very tall with sleek long black hair and slender figure. I had this creepy feeling when I look at him, feeling as if he's peeling off all my shells and staring straight into me. I shuddered a little when he turned his head slightly to look at me.

I walked up and asked politely, "may I help you?"

He smiled and said, "Sakura-chan?"

"Yes." I replied.

He smiled wider, "I've heard of you, you're even prettier in person."

Huh, perhaps he didn't see me when I was in highschool, according to my scale, I was skinner back then.

He then said, "I'm here to drop these off. I was debating on whether to go inside... I'm sincerely if I bothered you and your family. Would you be so kind as to take these inside?" He handed me the lilies.

They were lovely lilies, and I blinked, "Sure, for whom-"

He was already getting in to a black Lincoln, and when I finished asking the sentence, the car raced off.

That was sure weird. I don't even know who these are for. Shrugging, I pushed the gates open and stepped inside. I saw nanna sitting on the table, with a pot of fresh hot green tea.

"Nanna." I replied, putting the flowers on the table.

"Where did these come from?" Grandmother asked, eyeing the flower.

"Dunno, a man outside handed them to me and asked me to bring them inside." I said.

She narrowed her eyes, and then pursed her lips, "read the card."

I scavenged for a card, and saw a small one buried in the middle, with elegant gold ink writing on top, "My sincerest apologies, Orochimaru."

Holy SHIT!

Grandmother then said, "throw them in the trash."

I immediately did what I was told to do without much fuss. I know I should not judge from just rumours, but this guy is sickening me to my bones before and after I met him. I had a gut feeling that he isn't someone I would want to spend time with, and I was right.

"Why did he send them?" I asked, confused. "What did he do to you?"

For the longest time since I could remember, my grandmother sighed and wore a wearied look on her face, "your senpai, his kidneys and liver stopped functioning yesterday, and I tried everything I could, the poisoning has spread to all his organs, and he didn't make it."

My head suddenly starts to spin, I had to hold onto something to make sure I did not fall.

She sighed again, and drank the rest of her tea, while took her cane and went back to her green house. I was left alone here in the kitchen, and I burst into tears.

V.

I was cleaning out the medical room one. Senpai's body has already been shipped to the morgue. He was an orphan and had no family relations we know of. The Uchihas offered to plan and pay for all his funeral expenses, which I thought it was weird. But it was kind of Uchiha Sasuke's fault that he died. According to what he told me. Well, the more fault would be placed upon Orochimaru, but I don't know the story itself, so I don't quiet know how to explain his death.

And it infuriates me, how he had died just like that. He had dreams, hopes, aspirations and he was so kind and pure. he just want the good for the world, and he offered himself so selflessly. I don't even know the circumstances of his death, and I really wanted to find out.

But who should I talk to?

I was contemplating this on Monday in lab, and Tenten didn't show up. I texted her once, and got no reply. I didn't have time to worry about her, because I decided to call Gaara and find out more about this Akatsuki business.

Gaara sounded very drowsy and tired when he picked up the phone.

"Can we talk?" I asked.

He had a pretty good idea what I wanted to talk about, so he texted me his address and asked me to come through the back. Then his assistant texted me very specific instructions on how to get to his place without being tailed or find out by the paparazzi. I rolled my eyes.

So two hours later, we were sitting over take out while I asked him straight up, "you need to tell me everything about Akatsuki."

He sighed, "Sakura, you should not pry into these things. They're not for you to know."

"But I want to-I need to. I want to justify for his death, he seemed like he offered too much into this world, into us, and he got nothing in return."

"I'm glad he at least got a friend like you." Gaara said drily.

"What does that supposed to mean?" I glared, "do you not like him?"

Gaara immediately denied. "No, it's not that. Well. He's not my favorite nor my least favorite person. I just think you should drop it. Besides, we should not speak ill of the dead."

"You know something!" I pointed.

"I did not deny that."

"Then tell me what it is!"

"They're rumours." Gaara rubbed his head tiredly. "I don't have time for this, I need to get ready for a concert."

I was almost close to tears when I stood up and placed my hand on his arm and choked out a, "Gaara."

He took a glance at me, then averted his eyes and sighed. "Fine."

I sat down and waited for him to speak.

"Sakura, I'm not the best person to speak to about this." He said. "But I will tell you what I know, with as little subjective opinion on it as possible. But first, tell me what you know about him."

I organized my thoughts, "well, he told me Orochimaru recruited him when he was lost in this world and didn't know what to do. Then he worked for Akatsuki for a long time. Around a few years ago he wanted to quit, and he completed this mission, but Orochimaru was mad at Uchiha Sasuke about something, and he poisoned senpai, causing him to be more ill. He fell in love with someone didn't he?"

Gaara carefully examined me as he asked, "do you know who this 'someone' is?"

"No, he wouldn't tell me. He told me she's married." I said.

He sighed, "that's one way to put it."

"Why? Who is it?" I asked.

Gaara replied honestly, "I don't know. I can't say a name right now, because it's not respectful to him, and I'm not really sure anyways."

"Just tell me what you know." I said.

He thought about it, and said, "Ok, keep in mind they're mostly rumours."

"Ok." I answered.

"Well, rumours has it that Kimimaro was an orphan. When he was young, and he still did not have any idea what the world was like, he met... someone. It was before Orochimaru. He... he met someone that would use him at his disposal."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"When he was barely a teen," Gaara averted my eyes as he said this, "he lived in Rolan District."

My heart sank. Everybody knew of the Rolan District. It's the one part of town that is completely... filthy. Despite how it looked and how beautiful it may decorated to be, but it's the biggest whorehouse in town. It's so messy and messed up that-oh, oh. Oh my god.

Gaara saw my realization, and then he continued, "when he was... working, I guess, Orochimaru brought him out of that life. I suppose he would call it rescue, but it's really not anybody's call. I don't know if he jumped out of the pan and into the fire, but at least he doesn't have to endure that physical abuse. But the work we do in Akatsuki... we ..." He then sighed, and concluded with, "it's not good work."

I nodded slowly for him to go on.

"And you're right. When he just turned into an adult, he did fell in love." Gaara went into the kitchen and grabbed a beer. "This is about the extent I know. Even though everybody in Akatsuki heard rumours about him, they were never confirmed, and I'm not the best person you would go to for these things. I just know he was an excellent asset and he was superb at what he does. He was absolutely loyal to Orochimaru, and I cannot they that feeling was mutual."

"Did he betray him?" I asked with urgency.

Gaara tilted his head and thought about it, "I... well, sort of. That's the kind of man Orochimaru is. He grasps onto someone's weakness and he never let it go until he use it to destroy the complete being. I daresay Kimimaro had plenty of chance to turn against Orochimaru, but he was the type of person who refuse to exploit other's weaknesses, especially when those involve past trauma and pain. The only thing Kimimaro could do against him was to beg, or to endure his threats and whatever mission he sent him on."

I gritted my teeth. "He was too good for this world."

"Then it's better for him to have moved on." Gaara said, "this world cannot accept someone like him. Sakura, I told you I'm not the best person to talk to about him."

"Then who is?" I asked, "give me a name!"

VI.

"Uchiha Sasuke!" I screamed the moment I got off the elevators of Uchiha Corp.

His assistant tried to block me, but that blond bitch had twigs for torsos, so I shoved her aside as if she was a piece of flimsy human pancake.

The door to his office was not locked, thank Kami. So I barged in.

He and his designer suit was sitting on a huge leather chair. He was talking into a phone when I entered, and he lifted his eyelids-yes, let me emphasize, he literally only lifted his eyelids to see who it was who barged in, then he lowered them again and kept on talking.

I was so angry I didn't know what to do. I marched around his office and tried to make as much noise as possible, and I didn't have the balls to cut off his phone lines, and I admit at the heat of the moment I did not have the brains to even think about cutting off his phone lines.

At last he hung up, then he rubbed his forehead wearily, "What do you want?"

I pointed at him and stuttered, "y...y...y...you..."

"I, I, I, I, I. I what?" He asked impatiently.

"You bastard!" I finally blurted out.

"Is this about the other night?" He asked.

"What?" I had the sense to calm down and think, but then was reminded, oh, right, I slept with this dude the other night-twice, in fact. The first time in a hotel room, the second time in his fuck pad.

"How much do you want?" He got out his cheque book.

I should feel offended, but I really don't have time to. I waved my hand around like a maniac, "I don't care, I'm not here for that night, I just want to ask you a few things."

His gold plated pen stopped in the middle of writing, and he looked at me with a frown on his face. "Yes?"

I didn't have time to appreciate his beautiful face, and I was scared of knowing if I look into it I will be shocked again. So I sat in front of him in the twirling chair, while facing the side wall. "I want to ask you about Kimimaro-senpai."

He leaned back and made a sound. "Ah. I see. Hey, weren't you supposed to be working today?"

"Don't change the subject!" I twirled around to stare at him in the face, "You will tell me everything you know about him!"

"And if I don't?" He asked.

"Then I will kill you." I replied, not joking one bit as I looked into his eyes and said those words.

"Well." He rolled his eyes, "Since I don't want to be killed, I might as well tell you. You need to ask me questions, because I won't bother start at the beginning. You have ten minutes."

I grabbed onto my purse and squeezed tightly before asking, "Uchiha Sasuke. What happened that made you piss off Orochimaru a few years ago?"

"Huh." Sasuke thought back, then said, "I did not know you know so much about my past already."

"Answer the question!" I bit out.

He gave me a look, then said, "He wanted to kill Itachi through some ... despicable methods. I stopped him."

"And that's why he was mad, and in turn poisoned Kimimaro-senpai?"

He shrugged. "Probably, but knowing Orochimaru, he probably did it so the blame wouldn't fall on him. He probably gave Kimimaro a choice, whether to swear eternal loyalty to him by drinking whatever shit he has to offer, or else he will expose them for who they are in front of the one they loved. This was precisely what happened to that senpai of yours. He was too weak, and he doesn't fit within this society."

"Why does everybody keep saying that!" I yelled, "he was the best human being I have ever met! What happened to him that doesn't allow him to survive in this society?"

Sasuke checked his watch, "I don't have a lot more time, so I might as well tell you and keep your brain busy for a few days and leave me alone."

"I promise I will leave you alone." I swore.

He then tapped on his notebook with his pen and showed slight signs of uneasiness as he said, "did he mention he fell in love?"

"Yes. He said she was married." I replied.

Sasuke frowned, "On a technicality, that would be the correct answer. But he lied to you about one thing. He did fall in love, and that person did get married. Unfortunately, that person was not a ... she."

"What?! What the hell do-"

Oh.

Oh my God.

I think my head just exploded. I immediately stared at him as if was the person, "no way, he loved you!?"

Because like, in my opinion, Sasuke doesn't deserve senpai. Like, not even a little bit.

He looked at me as if I was mentally retarded, and said, "Sakura, I just said that that person was married, didn't I?"

I then thought hard, going through every single - "Oh my God, your brother!?"

He gave a little nod, and gave me the next ten seconds to digest this information.

The first question I asked was, "Does your brother know!?"

"Of course he does. Although I don't know how, he knows everything. He just didn't act upon it. Something insignificant like this is like a groupie is to Gaara." Sasuke said.

I don't quite know how to respond to this, because I was having a hard time digesting this anyways. I opened my mouth, nothing came out. After another five seconds, I tried again, "Did... Did Kimimaro-senpai... tell him?"

"No." Sasuke replied as if he was replying to how dinner was, "he was very secretive about it. For the longest time we all thought he was in love with my sister-in-law, but I walked in Orochimaru and him on day. Orochimaru knew, and he was torturing, or threatening, him to go on an assassination mission. If he doesn't, his secret will be released to the whole world. Kimimaro was already quite weak, and he was begging Orochimaru not to tell anyone."

"You knew, back then!?" I gasped.

"I didn't, not really. He was whispering, "don't tell him, don't tell him please", and I thought he was referring to not tell Itachi about how he loved his wife." Sasuke replied.

I slumped in my chair, completely overwhelmed.

"Why... why does he feel ashamed?" I asked, "Why?"

Sasuke shrugged. "He is too sensitive. I don't really know or cared to find out his psyche, but he was excellent at what he does, and that was all that mattered. It didn't matter to me in person, but it mattered the whole world to him. When one involves one's true feelings, it became an embarrassment. Especially in this city, how these kind of thing were treated as scandals."

"So is that why you were never discreet about your sexual orientation?" I asked sarcastically.

"Sakura, you said I am a bastard, and I am." (he actually admitted it, the bastard!) He continued, "there are very few people in this world that I consider above my status and position. For example, Sarutobi-san, or Minato-san, or my brother, are some examples. So if one day I was emotionally and sexually attracted to anyone of them, I would be ashamed. Since the likelihood of that happening is.." he actually chuckled at his own joke and left it at that. He finished his thought, though, with a, "I have never fallen in love, and I doubt it would ever happen. So I lack that aspect in life, I admit. In Kimimaro's case, he was deeply ashamed of his own feelings, and he would rather take it to the grave."

"How did you find out?" I asked, angry.

"Orochimaru told me." Sasuke shrugged. "He once trusted me immensely. He did not respect Kimimaro at all. He used it as a joke, or an example. He was talking something along the lines of control and weakness. Kimimaro was his example. Perhaps he was most easily manipulated."

I slammed my fist on his table, I almost startled myself, but Sasuke sat still and passively staring at me.

"This is unacceptable!" I yelled.

"What is?" He asked.

"This... this society!" I was so passionate about this, "he should not feel ashamed, that should not have been his weakness, he is a gentle and kind soul, and falling in love with someone that won't ever love him back is already cruel enough, he...he deserves at least-to be accepted, not to be used!"

Sasuke actually chuckled, "Sakura, it's at these moments in life I find myself actually entertained by you."

I was so angry I couldn't speak, so I kept on glaring at him.

He then said, "what you just said, they work in theory. But in this world, how could you guarantee they are not laughed at? Education is one thing, reality is another. It's fun and acceptable to see these kind of stuff on films, or theater. I practiced it once or twice, but I act purely from desire. Some people argue it defies the law of nature. I can't say agree, but I won't bother defending it either. I have much better things to do."

I was even more angry at what he just said.

"Ultimately," He said, "it all came down to who he was as a person. If only he was a bit stronger, and adapted to the society, instead of you here, hoping the world would change and mold based on him and his orientation. Who are we kidding here? We're all trying our best to beat our competition already. Sakura, please go away. I'm very busy."

I stood numbly, and took a few steps away from his table.

When I look back at him and wanting to say something witty and snarky, I realized he wasn't working. Instead he was leaning on his hands and staring through the documents in front of him, in deep thought.

I sighed, and stepped towards the elevator.

VII.

Sometimes nothing made sense at all.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: I was so happy with all the rush of reviews from the last chapter that I decided to post another chapters-just three days later! Must be a record.

In truth I wrote this all on a roll, so I've written up to chapter 17 or something a long time ago, and I was planning on releasing them slowly because it seems unlikely that I will write a lot in a short mount of time again, but I will try my best to get all my fics rolling. I will never stop writing, that is for sure.

This chapter was originally intended to happen this way. There is nothing spontaneous about it-because I've always wanted to write a character like him. I hope everyone will accept this and don't whine about why I placed this character and changed his orientation or if this has made some of you uncomfortable.

I am deeply sorry for all delays in my fic, and I may as well write them in here now.


	13. Chapter 13

June 25, 2013

I.

I am so alone in this world, I don't know who to talk to.

Obviously Gaara and Sai are out. They're not comfortable talking about Kimimaro, I know. Tenten is still not back in Konoha yet, and I realized I had no other friends.

Luckily I now have a job to busy myself with. They say it's a job, but actually it's nothing like my translator job. It's complete and utterly bogus. I sit at my desk at the bottom floor and do nothing. When someone need me to print something they send it to me, because I'm closest to the printer. And those people are like, the floor manager. So this job basically ensures I get on the pay roll without doing actual work.

I suspect because the job itself came from one of the higher authorities, like, a guy whose last name is engraved on the side of this building.

Despite me working at Uchiha Corp, I actually never see Sasuke. It's been like almost a week, and the most interaction I had with him is watching him walk out of the building at five.

Because of what happened with Kimimaro-senpai, I lack the will to do anything. I wake up with a body full of energy but no will and no soul. I want to kick myself to get myself back in the mode for work or studying, but everything seemed so gray and depressing lately.

It started when I had doubts on humanity in general. I was mad at everything and everyone because of who they are what what they failed to do. I realized that i can't actually hate them because they're homophobic. I shouldn't even coin the term homophobic on them. What happened to senpai should not be labeled, just like one should not label and separate the yaoi and straight mangas. A discourse is a discourse is a discourse. Nothing else matters than how beautiful and deep it should be.

I went to Chapter's after work one day and asked them to reorganize the manga section and mix them up, and they stared at me as if I was crazy.

Kimimaro senpai's funeral is tomorrow. I'm having trouble deciding if I should go.

II.

Well, I did go, and it did not go well.

I wore a simple black dress and black jacket along with a pair of black leather boots. I carried a black purse and attended the funeral in Konoha cemetery.

It was a very large funeral. Because Kimimaro-senpai gained significant recognition as a piano artist, everybody who admired his music in this town came. I stood pretty far from the actual casket, because I couldn't bring myself to look at that pale and lifeless face.

He could've been happy, he could've lived a great life. But somehow from his childhood up until his death, he didn't get what he deserved and was abused every minute of it. That's not all, however, as he was humiliated and forced into submitting to our twisted custom and cultural beliefs that he honestly believed something was wrong with him. I couldn't bare to look at him, and worst of all, I couldn't bare to look at the people attending his funeral, knowing that some of them are very mean towards people similar to senpai.

Is this the nature of humans, are we forced to act like this?

This society is so messed up that we don't even know what is normal anymore. The "norm" of ancient Greek was that it was OK for men to have sexual relationships. The "norm" of the twenty-first century is to distinguish the homosexuals from the heterosexuals, and making the mistake that those two are the only act in existence. You're either committing a homosexual act or a heterosexual act, and you get judged and accused because of it. This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong!

Despite that I was screaming inside, I could only let tears fall on the outside without saying anything. I can't say anything, because it's what senpai tried so hard to protect his secret, and I don't know if it would be a betrayal or defence in his honour if I started bitching at these people here at the funeral for how fucking stupid and ignorant they were.

I saw Uchiha Itachi and his family. Oh, just fucking great.

Surprisingly, Chiro-san left Itachi there to shake hands with those people while she made her way towards me. I blinked as she approached and hugged me.

"Sakura-chan?"

I nodded numbly at her.

She sighed, and then took my arm, "walk with me, dearest."

I was numbly led by her away from the casket and deeper into the cemetery. There are a few body guards following us while carefully keeping a distance. I suspect that Chiro had to deal with this all the time.

"I'm very sorry. I just found out how close you were with him. He left something for you." Chiro reached into her jacket and brought a envelop.

It does have senpai's hand writing on it, saying "Sakura".

"I realized Sasuke told you everything?" She asked.

I nodded numbly again.

She sighed as our feet skimped along the green grass. "He... he saved my life once."

I looked at her in surprise.

"Oh, he didn't tell you?" She frowned a little before saying, "it was a few years ago, Orochimaru ordered a hit on me. Nobody else knew about it at first, but he abducted me and faked my death."

"What?" I was even more surprised.

"The whole thing was complicated." She waved a hand. "Orochimaru... that son of a bitch. He had Kimimaro-san tied me up, metaphorically and literally, when he actually focused all his manpower on my husband and daughter."

I had no words. This was so much more messed up than I realized.

"He wanted to destroy us all." She sighed. "He wanted to kill us all, but... ultimately he didn't succeed."

I don't think my head could take anymore of this. It's messing up my brain.

"I... I'm sorry." I could only say.

She nodded before stop walking and stare at the sunset. "I could tell, back then, what he felt."

I turn to look at her.

"I also knew," She continued, "how mortifying it was, for him."

I closed my eyes.

"I was... I was so sad, so sad, for him." She sighed. "I wished for nothing more than him finding his own happiness, someone else... but I also knew, he was the type of guy who would choose one person, regardless of gender, and that was it, he couldn't love anyone else."

I wanted to cry.

"He was so kind. He couldn't bare to hurt me, and he begged for my forgiveness, even though he didn't do anything. He even helped me to fool Orochimaru, but he was so pure, in his own way, that it almost broke my heart to watch him live through the rest of his life in such pain."

"Stop." I said. I opened up the letter, and saw this:

Sakura,

Please don't judge me. I'm very sorry.

Please be happy.

Kimimaro.

That was the end of it, and there was nothing more. His writing was considerably worse than before, and I could see the shaking of his brush with the ink wobbling against the paper. I showed the letter to Chiro, who looked very depressed.

"Let's go back." I said, and begin to walk back.

Maybe Kami was trying to teach us a lesson.

Look at us, and how cruelly we treat our equals.

III.

Tenten finally came back, and she was engaged.

She did call me first, and when I first saw her, it was at the airport. The moment she got out of the gates she spotted me and hugged me.

"Sakura, oh, Sakura I heard. I'm so sorry!" She said.

I shook my head and smiled, "It's in the past. What's up?"

"I'm engaged!" She screamed.

Oh my God, I took one look at her ring and it almost dazzled me. It's very large, and very old. But it's beautiful, and the style is just classic. It has one big diamond and a bunch of little ones circling around it. It was just simply beautiful.

"With... with who?" I managed to stutter out.

"Him!" Tenten flipped around, and Neji stood behind her.

I actually retreated a few steps from Neji's glare, because he thought it's worth a glare when I didn't guess who the groom was.

"Will you be my maid of honour!?" She asked, half yelling.

"Oh my god, Oh, my god, YES!" I screamed.

Now, now, ladies [imaginary] who are reading this, please pardon my excitement when I say yes I am rather attracted to the idea of a marriage or a wedding and bring able to be a bridesmaid, especially maid of honour. I really want to plan a wedding, or help planning one. I think since I have no experience, planning one right off the bat is intimidating. I was once engaged, but I did absolutely minimal work in planning that. I supposed it's always ... I had a subconscious way of knowing that it was never going to go through. We were never meant to be, probably.

"We have so much to do!" She said, "I already had a bunch of ideas about the cake, and I think I have the perfect boutique for the dress, and I..."

She went on talking, I took a look at Neji, who looked a little overwhelmed at her. It's such a strange expression that I had never seen in him that I laughed aloud, and then it immediately turned to a glare. I shut up.

"Darling." She said, and I flipped my head around to look at her. "Yes?"

"I thought about it, and I decided to have the wedding the same day as Hinata's." She said.

My eyes widened, "What? Why?"

She smiled sweetly, "We're going to book the best place in town, and you will come, and you will be busy and you will be so happy that you will forget all about their shit."

I didn't know what to say, except, "Tenten, it's in three month."

"I know." Tenten said. "That's why we have to start planning, like, now."

I then turned to Neji, "You have no problem with this?"

He said sourly, "It's one of her conditions, or else she walks away."

"Oh!" I turned to her, who beamed. I extended my arm out to her and we hugged for a full minute.

IV.

Neji had this interesting idea on our generation that I felt I should be inclined to share, because I felt that it was increasingly becoming the universal truth.

He said, the generation of glory and heroes, if they were alive and well, their children will be nothing but scums. If they died, but left a child, that child will sure to prevail against all evil.

Nobody focused on the last part, but the first part was completely true.

The generation of our heroes, such as Sarutobi, or Chiyo. They rose from having no backgrounds, and their children never amounted to anything. Rather it's their pupil, who survived through orphanage, bad childhoods, achieved great things. Some are terrible, some are awesome, but despite that, they were all great. Orochimaru ran this organization that terrifies everybody, and Jiraiya is traveling around the world creating peace and producing philosophical ideas in forms of erotic novels. Tsunade-sama, is a world renowned researcher who is paralleled only by my grandmother. Look at Uchiha Itachi, he rose from the ashes of his ancestors, and he made a vast empire for his family.

Then we look at the example of those who are still well. Look at me, look at Hinata, look at Ino. We are basically... nothing. we are the scums of the earth. We really are nothing without our backgrounds. We are identified with our family, or what they did, and we've lived for so long up until now, but we still have not yet made a name for ourselves. Really, without our families, we are nothing. Without nanna, I'd just be the girl who disappointed my family. Without the Hyuugas, well, Neji might amount to something, but Hinata? I doubt she could kill a fly. Which is just sad, since Hyuugas might as well just chop heads for a living.

I'm joking, of course. They're a family that somewhat runs the economy with their control of most stocks. By chopping heads, I mean metaphorically, they do have control over the livelihood of many people.

It's the first time in my life that I have the urge to do something great. Something amazing for once. I am surrounded by all these people who has been through civil wars, riots, turmoils, ups and downs. They survived and created the city we have today, a city of ten million people.

What could I do then? What should I do that would actually amount to something? I think it might be a bit too late to go into medicine. Especially when it's not even one of my passions. I go into it because my mother was in it, my grandmother is in it. When the time came to choose my major, I thought what the heck, rather than more pressure, I might as well take some courses just to make them happy.

Now I am half way between having a major I despise, and finished a major that I liked. I had no true passion in life, and I have never felt so lost, knowing that there was nothing I could do in this world.

Ino's dream was simple. She would finish her degree, marry someone, and then that'll be it. She will live the life of a rich house wife, and host charities and fundraisers. Hinata's dream was to marry Naruto. We all knew that. There was no contest. Neji's dream is to take over the Hyuuga family, but Hinata's father did a damn good job to make sure that doesn't happen by marrying Hinata to Naruto. If he dies, the business naturally goes to Naruto. Although I suspect that Naruto will probably hand it over to Neji, so Neji's dream is about as good as completed. Tenten's dream is one day to own her own clinic, and she wanted to go to vet school and heal animals using traditional medicine.

I wonder what my dream is, and if it's alive.

I am a little ashamed to admit that I had no plans. I thought that it would go along the lines of me graduating and getting a nine to five job. I didn't even think that I would be engages so young, and I while I was engaged, I spent what Naruto gave me, nothing more. Now that we're over for a while, I thought I would support myself and live my life away. I didn't even have the aspiration to hook up to a meal ticket. One that would support me, like Ino does.

Should I pursue this then? This medicine thing that I am doing. I was told I was barely scratching the surface. Is a life time of this really the road I'm heading down to?

I don't know anymore.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: I originally planned for this chapter to be way longer. And I did, I finished writing the rest too. But when I clicked save, my tablet crashed down on me, therefore loosing the rest of the chapter.

I was so furious that I thought, what the hell, I'll end it here. The story continues on next chapter. Which will updated within a few days.

Blame technology, everybody.


	14. Chapter 14

July 1, 2013

I.

I was not in a good mood when my walk from the bus stop to the office I encountered more than ten stands selling magazines with senpai on their cover. Various photos of him playing piano, doing charity work, performing...

I just felt sick to my stomach. But I'm glad his image was kept pure, even though the definition of "pure" by the masses made me sick.

Did I mention that my job itself-was a joke?

It's the biggest joke around here.

I don't actually do any real work, and every morning after I finish collecting data, I come here and swipe my key card in, and the meter on my tab starts running. For however long I stay here, they pay me by the hour and it's automatically transfered to my bank account at the end of every two weeks. Even on weekends, if I come here early in the morning and leave by midnight, they pay me the full... however many hours I was here.

I thought about just leaving my key card in the office and have them pay me every hour for the rest of my life. But I thought even for Uchiha's generosity, that's stretching it.

My colleagues at my office, they rarely speak to me. I suppose it's partially my fault, because when I first started here I was in a really bad place in life and I blamed everyone in the world for it. My face was in constant scowl and I roar at people who disturbs me for no reason. Therefore I earned the reputation (and probably some nice nicknames) for nobody comes to talk to me, because I'm anti-social and I hate charity.

But I came here and sat in a position within the company by doing absolutely nothing. There was nothing needed to be done by me, and when I'm in one of my worse mood days, even printing is off the hook. It's just as well, I don't disturb them, they don't come to me. I've used my office-which is just a cubical in the corner-as my study space, and I already dumped most of my textbooks over there.

It was on that Friday morning, when my floor manager called me into her office.

"Sakura, I need you to deliver something." She said.

"Sure." I was in an OK mood at that moment.

"This needs to get to the top floor immediately." She continued.

I took a look at that, and noticed that the cover says, "Second Quarter Business Review".

"Huh. Why?"

She cowered a little and said, "Well. Our department didn't have a good... quarter, and I'm sure Uchiha-san wouldn't be pleased to see the results. No one wants to send this up."

"Because...?"

"He personally requires this to be on his desk in an hour, and if one of us goes up, he might fire him or her." She said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I blinked, then out of the goodness of my heart, I decided to take the review up.

When I entered the elevator, I sneaked a peak at the review. Granted there are many things I don't understand on there, but based from the graph with the red line going down on a slope I figured this wouldn't be good. But my plan was, get to the top floor, distract Ryuku, Sasuke's assistant, then drop this on his desk with a sticky note that says, "your boss requires this on his desk ASAP."

I went to the top floor, and Ryuku is busy working at his desk. I approached him and cleared my throat.

He turned his eye to me for less than a second, then turned it back onto his screen. "What would you like, Haruno-san?"

I bit my lip, then pointed at him and yelled, "Look! An obvious distraction!"

He didn't even flinch. Instead he said, "If you're here to drop off the business review, don't dump it on me. How many departments are in this company? Do you think it's my first day?"

I snorted at him in contempt, and made my way towards the bigger office that Sasuke occupies. Thinking I might as well make a big entrance, drop it off, and ran like hell. Despite how much disdain I hold for my job, I still would like to keep it. It's the only one where if I take a nap, I would still get paid.

So I twisted the knob and pushed the door open with as much force as possible.

Unfortunately for me though, there was another person right on the other side of this door, and it hit him square in the face. He went down like a hero while clutching his nose. I was gasping and apologizing all at once when I realized, "Shikamaru!"

Yes, Shikamaru, the genius, was on the ground clutching on his nose. He didn't see me, but upon hearing my voice he groaned, "Haruno Sakura, you will be the death of me one day."

This was true, since it's not the first time I injured his face.

Back when I was still a teenager, I was enrolled in Konoha Academy with all the other snobby rich kids. Ino was my best friend then, and we never went anywhere separately.

She ran into the classroom one day and yelled, "Sakura! There's a game on the soccer field! Kimimaro senpai is playing!"

Of course all girls jumped at the name, and we joined an army of girls at the field already.

Normally, in a romantic novel or a young adult fiction text, something stereotypical would happen to the girl that made the hottest guy on the field notice her. Traditionally it would be if the ball hit a girl on the head, and the senpai would come over, examine her injury, then carry her princess style to the sports med class room. Unfortunately, my life does not follow golden rules of romantic fiction, and I find that my life constantly tried to stay within the path of romance, but something always goes wrong and the whole thing fall apart.

I admit in my daydream Kimimaro-senpai would kick the ball, and it would hit me in the face, and he would carry me princess style to the nurse's. But life just kids around with you, and the ball that was kicked by Kimimaro-senpai did flew to my direction, and it did threaten to hit me really hard in the gut. I, however, being the creepily and ungraceful girl that I am, had my reflex kick in and I slammed the ball with my feet and it went directly back onto the field. But my shoe went with it, probably because I didn't tie it properly.

The ball hit Shikamaru on the head, and he was fine at first, but about 0.3 seconds later, my shoe slammed on his genius head again, and this time, he finally fell down onto the ground.

We all stared, because this has honestly never happened before. I quickly rushed onto the field along with the rest of the fan girls, because one gotta admit, Shikamaru had a decent fangirl base too. I suspect, though, because they want to copy his homework.

Shikamaru was not conscious.

I panicked, because I did not want to go to jail.

"What do I do!? What do I do!?" I yelled while attempting to carry him princess style. My fragile arms was not up to the task, and someone in the crowd yelled, "DO CPR!"

This was good idea; it's better than going to jail. So I put him down flat onto the ground, and placed my hand on his chest.

Before I could continue though, Ino dragged on my arm and hauled me to the side like she had the strength of King Kong, and then she took my place and knelt beside him. She slapped Shikamaru's chest, and he bolted up and yelled, "Damn! Woman!

All of us were speechless once again as Ino explained, "I grew up with him. I could tell when he's faking it."

But Shikamaru's nose did bleed like a faucet, so he was shipped off to sport's med.

Now, six years later, he's on the ground, nose bleeding, but Ino isn't beside me anymore.

I sighed and slumped beside him and stared in a nostalgic way, while my boss, Uchiha Sasuke, quickly phoned for a first aid kid and the company health department member to get up here.

While Shikamaru was escorted down, I asked Sasuke, "What is he doing here?"

Sasuke appears to have no discretion in front of me, because he said, "He's working on a case involving a member of Akatsuki, and he informed me supposably there is a spy infiltrated in Uchiha Corp."

"Isn't that dangerous?" I frowned.

He raised an eyebrow, "Depending on how good he is. What do you have there?"

"It could be a she." I argued because I couldn't control my imagination and the tunnel that connect it and my mouth. "She could seduce you and make you tell her all your secrets in bed."

He stared at me.

I quickly put the review on his desk. "From our department."

"Right." He replied. Then asked, "Which is...?"

I stared at him and got lost in his eyes. For some reason, when he looked straight at me, I had a flashback of when he thrusts into me, his eyes were completely on me. I could see my tiny reflection within his eyes, and he was beautiful, beyond words.

"Haruno-san?" He frowned, tapping his desk with his pen.

I quickly jumped back to reality and said,"Anti-homophobic department."

He looked annoyed at me, because he wanted to get rid of me as fast as possible by waving his hand at my direction, "Please refrain from causing any troubles or sending anyone to the hospital within the building."

"I can promise this building, not this room." I glared, then stomped on my pumps and walked right out.

Damn, should've worn actual stilettos instead of wedges. Would've had a better effect.

II.

Had cake tasting with Tenten today. She insisted cake tasting first, then dress picking. Suppose it makes her feel better when she doesn't have to actually diet for the dress.

There was the sweetest traditional bakery at the corner of a street in downtown called "Wish", and the owner had bright purple hair and beautiful long and narrowed eyes. Her name is Anko, and she laid out every possible flavors in front of us while showing pictures of the cake itself. We tasted slivers of cake with drinking champagne and wine. At last I asked, "It must be wonderful to be you, Anko-san. You have a wonderful job."

She smiled a little uncomfortably before introducing a new line of mini-cupcakes that could be used as appetizers.

Tenten beamed while she and I literally tasted every single type, and we finally decided on a multi-tier cake that had different flavors on each layer. She insisted on fresh fruit and organic ingredients, so she paid for the deposit and suggested sushi for lunch.

When we were walking out, I pushed the door open and discovered there's a man standing right outside, staring at me. I gasped when I realize who that is. The pale and slender figure-I would never forget. He gives me nightmares.

He obvious recognize me too, but he smiles and winks, then entered the bakery without acknowledging me.

"Sakura?" Tenten pushed on my arm.

I came around, "Oh, yeah. Hi. Ok."

"What's the matter with you?" She asked, her eyes worried.

"No, no, nothing." I replied.

She thought about it, then said, "Sakura. I think you need a man."

"..." I probably do.

"I think I shall set you up."

"Uh..."I was about to refuse, but then was reminded of Sasuke and his warning of not to fall in love with him. "Sure." I said weakly, "I'm pretty much free this week."

"Perfect!" Tenten smiled widely at me, "I'll ask Neji to look around."

No offence to any Hyuuga, but I would never date a Hyuuga.

III.

Son of a bitch. My Residence Assistant application came through. I applied for the position like at the beginning of summer, but they never replied back. Someone must've died or something, and they need me to fill the position!

This means moving out. This means away from my parents, away from the life I currently know, and build myself an entire new life -about 60 miles away from where I currently live. So yes, commute to school just got a lot easier.

Of course I'm eager to take the position. I'm ready for anything! I am so happy that I get to escape this-because every corner I turn around the house, I get sad.

So I told nanna what I was going to do, and she sighed while waving her hand and turned her back at me, which I took as a universal acknowledgment as "whatever". So I packed up my stuff and rented a car, and moved in.

This all happened yesterday. Now it's the first of July, and I'm sitting in my new dorm, with a big room, large closet, a decent cabinet, a nice large desk, and painted dark green walls on one side, and rice colored walls on another. I am so happy to live alone, despite the fact while cooking my first meal I found out I didn't prepare salt, pepper, or a bow.

Huh, trip down to the super market soon.

It would be a lie to say that I did all this without breaking a sweat. In fact during the whole process I feel bitter and happy at the same time. I constantly wanted to cry because of my helplessness, but I also constantly wanted to jump up in happiness. I feel sorry for grandmother, because she's living alone. But I'm competent she can take care of herself, after all, I never really see her to begin with. And even though she has relaxed her rulings over these couple of years, I still remember the things she said to me all through my childhood up until I got engaged. She was strict, firm, and she wanted to mold me into a genius doctor that practices traditional medicine and bury her nose in textbooks all the time-

Yea, with this day and age, that's not going to happen.

This is another time that I figured Neji was right. There's the invention of video games, Youtube, smart phones, and computers. There is no way that kids are abel to fend off such strong distractions. They won't focus their heads on studying, like their parents wished they would. It's very difficult for anybody to concentrate-for heaven's sakes.

Perhaps it is true, only the generation from before who grew up in poverty has the desirer to succeed. Otherwise, the kids that already have it all doesn't have the urge to thrive forward. We've never experienced pain, so we assume that we live in honey jars and just... we're wasted. Our years are wasted, our minds are wasted, and we will continue to decline will the poverty stricken nations thrive.

Anyways, my two cents in my new dorm. So tired after moving.

IV.

Tenten called me today asking me where I am, and I told her I now live on campus residence. She barged in and took a look around the apartment, and looked as if she's going to burst into tears.

"How could you think this was big?" She asked, her hands flew to her eyes.

"Uh." I stuttered a little. "I just... It's..."

Well in truth it probably wasn't big. But it felt so big and free after I escaped from nanna's. I shouldn't have used the word escape. How ungrateful am I!

"And look at these-canvas curtains?" She tapped on the thick and large curtains, "Are you freaking kidding me?"

I shook my head and sighed. "Tenten, can you tell me exactly what are you doing here?"

She looked embarrassed before confessing. "I'm a bit worried."

"About what?"

"About... about stuff." She whispered. "This whole thing. The wedding, the family-"

"Jackpot!" I yelled. "You're worried about Neji's family, aren't you?"

She sighed and gave me a look, "they're the Hyuugas, Sakura."

I was fully aware of what they are, but I was not about to tell her the exact full extend to which I know of it. Because the Hyuuga family is so prominent, they hide everything and they're very secretive. But there are a few things that he does which are not secretive. One, they are all extremely ruthless. They stop at nothing to get what they want, and two, they deal business behind the government. That is never a good news. It means Neji must be associated with the whatever shady business they're doing. Since the Uchihas hogged all the firearms business, they're probably involved in drugs or whores. At least, I don't think they have a hand in the entertainment business, or the tech stuff... Huh. I should find out.

What the fuck Sakura, what are you going to do when you find out? It's not like you'll just write this whole shit in your journal and then imagine your imaginary readers to-

Holy shit.

Oh my God.

Journal. Journalism. Making a difference. Holy fucking shit...

I just found my true calling in life.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: It took her 14 chapters to find it. Man she's a bit slow. But since I love her it's Ok.

I can't believe my posting speed is caught up to the actual date.


	15. Chapter 15

July 7, 2013

I.

All is right with the world. First of all, I have enrolled in summer courses. But I have not decided what to take yet, so I put in anthropology and psychology as place holders. Classes starts like... Tomorrow. And I'm finishing my thesis this week and then stamp it and hand it in the drop box. They will grant me a ... I don't know. I certificate or a diploma of some kind that says I have basic knowledge and a tiny bit of research knowledge on traditional medicine, and since I won't bother kept on pursuing it, I move on with my life with basic knowledge of the arts and crafts that my family has been passing down generation after generation-it ends here, with me. Man I'm a douche.

But I found my true calling in life, as I was writing my diary yesterday. I call it a journal because it's less embarrassing, but really, come on, it's a diary.

After tossing my key card within Uchiha Corp. for like two weeks, I went to retrieve it, and found that my card has accumulated 360 hours, and if I take this to human resources, I would be around five thousand dollars richer.

But the question remains, should I be humane and moral and leave it, or should I take the five grand from Uchiha Corp without shame? Mhmm, tough choice. Even though I am very hard on money right now, I am not edging poverty. In fact the constant consumption of white bread and rice and unhealthy snacks has made me gain some weight. Huh. Should exercise.

Ok, I've decided, right at this moment (as in, this week), I don't really need the money, therefore I shall not take it right now.

Now, my path on journalism. Should I take some courses on journalism? I'm taking some on anthropology right now. I need just a few more to graduate, but if I want to pursue journalism, should I take legit courses and find a job after a certificate? I already have a diploma in English. I think I should be fine if I was required to write some articles... But what kind of articles should I be writing? I mean, I've seen the trash written in newspaper nowadays, and I really, really, really, don't think I could write any better. Perhaps I could write more truthful crap, but seriously, with the audience so hyper stimulated now days, they want something that shocks them. It would be much more interesting to read a headline: UCHIHA SASUKE IS GAY! Rather than: UCHIHA SASUKE MAY OR MAY NOT BE BISEXUAL-HE IS YET TO BE DETERMINED, AND REFUSED TO BE DEFINED.

Why are we going around talking about him now? For heaven's sakes, I don't want to talk about him! He is a complete pathetic excuse for a man! He is too promiscuous to be even considered as a ...

Why did he?

I should ask him. I should ask him why did he turn to both gender. Or does he only exclusively fuck men?

I really should go ask him. Because now that I think about it, he has never hide anything from me. Or at least, didn't hide anything deliberately. Because as far as I could tell, everything he has told me has been the truth, and he rarely denies me the answers. If I ask him things regarding the Hyuuga Clan...

Before that though, I need to draft up my resume and send it to all newspaper publishing houses in town.

II.

I arrived at Starbucks a bit early, and Tenten was supposed to meet me here, along with her wedding planner.

Her wedding planner, however, is a pregnant lady. At first, because all I could see of her was her bulging stomach. Please forgive me for saying this. But it was indeed what I saw. It was after until they sat down that I stared.

"Kurenai-sensei!" I almost yelled.

She smiled weakly at me. "Sakura, hi."

"What are you doing here? Where is Asuma-sensei?" I yelled louder.

She sighed, and then said, "We split up."

Tenten then begin to talk about the wedding, but my mind was in a perpetual spiral of "we split up, we split up, we split up..."

I went to Kurenai-sensei's wedding when I was young, it was like, oh God, ten years ago? And it was a wonderful fairy tale wedding. She retired from teaching, and she was my favorite teacher when I was still in middle school. Her husband, Asuma-sensei, was a university professor back then, and we all looked at her with awe and jealousy because of how beautiful she was and how wonderful she was to us. She was perfection in my mind, and I always meant to visit her from time to time. We did see each other in formal occasions or lectures, but five years has passed since I have saw her, and I have no idea this was how she ended up.

This is awful, this is just awful! She's now a wedding planner?

Tenten has shot like ten glares at me already, forcing me to focus on the task at hand. I couldn't help it. I kept spacing out. I distinctly remembered how excited and happy Kurenai sensei was, and she was so literally gleaming from all the excitement. I knew Asuma-sensei loved her, because even at my young age, I could tell.

How come it all just fell apart?

Well, at least I was tactful enough not to ask what happened right away... Or am I?

Ok I admit, I am not known for my tact. In fact I may be the most untactful person ever graced this planet. But upon staring at Kurenai-sensei's tired and unenergetic face, I bit back my questions and listened to Tenten's luxurious and completely over the top wedding plans.

III.

Son of a bitch. This morning I woke up with like, ten rejection letters form various newspaper companies. Apparently being an Lit major does squat in the journal world. Suppose I know how to write, but for fucks sakes, there are so many other people also have that skill. I need to do something extraordinary-

Ah, at least a letter that doesn't reject me outright, but they asked if I have time next week to go in for an interview. Also I need to bring an article that is newsworthy and well written. What the heck? Is this newspaper asking for publishable articles from interviewees now?

I glanced at the bottom of the email and my heart nearly leaped out. It's actually a very ... abundant company. I cannot guarantee their quality of information, but I do guarantee that half of the citizens in Konoha read it. Because it's so cheap, so thin, and very portable. In fact that's the reason why I read some on bus too. I know nowadays people read their phones or their iPads on buses, but since books are so heavy, reading a thin newspaper on print is one of the few ways I can give off the feeling that I'm smarter to other people I have never met and probably will never see again.

So this means, I need to find a juicy enough story for the company to hire me. Where should I begin?

It did occur to me that I should unveil the nature of Kimimaro-senpai, but even I am not evil enough to do that. I personally think there is nothing wrong with it, but I'm not him, and he tried so hard to hide his secret, and I can't possibly jeopardize that.

Then I shall discover something that actually means something. Like a secret fact, or a story that is shocking enough for the whole world. Because only then I would be able to accomplish what I am here to do-to inform, and to make a difference.

What shall I write on? I really don't know! Should I dig around the Hyuuga family? Should I go dig around the Uchihas? What the hell Sakura, you know yourself too better to be able to poke around these dangerous stuff. I could be killed, or be silenced. Then what else is shocking enough?

I should poke around Orochimaru.

This idea popped into my mind when I was brainstorming on what to write. And then when the idea formed, I suddenly realized this is it. This is my true life's calling. this is what I was meant to do. How should I do it though?

Penetrate into it.

But I'm not a beautiful boy. I have no use for Orochimaru-

Wait. Gaara said he targets vulnerable younger boys.

Holy shit, there's tons of them in this dorm building. I mean, other than the frat ones, the rest are all vulnerable and young boys ripe for picking-

Ok, a little too far over the line there. Then there must be something, a code or a signal of some sort between members of Akatsuki right? Since the boys are still so young, maybe Orochimaru is feeding them small dosages of poison. Maybe they don't know better and thinks Akatsuki can give them the tools for their ambition...

I immediately took the bus directly to Gaara's. I wish I can say that I took a cab, but looking at my account, seeing after rent and groceries there are less than two hundred dollars in there. I felt it can't take anymore beating.

Gaara's place is not far from downtown. It's on a huge skyscraper with a view of various other sky scrapers. I went through the janitor's door, showing the guard over there a text message sent from Gaara's phone, and then I was allowed to board a tiny elevator that goes directly from floor to penthouse.

It opens to his living room, and he was leaning on his fur lined leather couch, with piercing on his left nipple and linked to the piercing on his bottom lip. He had one hand at the back of his head, and another on his stomach. He looked a little annoyed and pained at the same time, which just poked right through my heart. I love this expression on men, especially when they're dressed in a sleeveless expensive diamond studded leather jacket and a pair of artistically ripped jeans with various buckles.

"Just finished a concert?" I thank god that I have received an immunity to his charms and fame after talking with him so frequently. I found after getting through his cool exterior, his interior is actually very kind and very responsible. He takes great care of his friends, and often one may cross the line from stranger to a friend without knowing it. One will, when one realize that Gaara is actually responding to your text messages, instead of forwarding your messages to his assistant. He has a strange definition of friendship, I don't question it because I have it, and I'm afraid of loosing it.

He nodded and sighed. "I'm so tired."

This is a subtle text saying that I should leave him alone. But I also find, when interacting with Gaara, familiarity is not enough, because Gaara will never be the guy who takes the first step forward. So if you want to him to pay attention to you, you must ask him questions without any shame in mind.

So I sat right down in front of him and got straight to the point. "I want to ask you about Akatsuki."

He looked annoyed, but that's the extend of his expression. I suppose he would still look that way if he wanted to slam my head against a wall.

"I want to know exactly how Orochimaru picks his boys." I whispered to him.

He leaned forward and whispered back, "I don't know."

"How can you not?" I hissed.

He hissed back, "because I was not involved in the picking and choosing process!"

"For fuck's sakes!" I sighed. "How did you get picked?"

He shrugged. "I used to fight a lot."

"What?" I asked, my eyes widened, "but I thought he picks them by talent!"

He gave me a look that says "don't push it."

I pursed my lips. "Tell me more."

He frowned and went down memory lane. He thought about it a lot until he begin, "I think-I think back when I was a teen, I used to fight all the time. I get picked on in school, and I throw punches. It got worse and worse that I was attraction attentions from the media. Not because of my fights, but because my father was a very influential man."

I nodded and encouraged him to continue.

"And he tried to discipline me by brutal force. It didn't work, of course. Because I could punch him onto the ground within matters of seconds. If it weren't for his body guards, he'd be dead. So he disowned me after that. I continued to fight, and one day it got so bad that I was left out onto the streets to die..."

"And Orochimaru saved you." I finished.

He nodded.

What the... this is just like a book. I can't believe this happened to him. I suppose Orochimaru not only search for talents, he also search for potential soldiers then. If Gaara is really a great fighter, then it meant that he must be very clever. I know that fighting is more about technique and brains rather than just brutal force. Gaara must have amazing reflexes.

Then... What did he do in Akatsuki?

Upon finding out that I can't hide it any longer, I asked him straight up. "Gaara, what did you do in Akatsuki?"

Gaara looked away and begin to undress.

I stood up and crossed my arms, refusing to move even a bit.

He took off all his accessories, leaving only pants. He turned around, and said in dismay, "You're still here?"

"Distraction won't work." I told him plainly. "I really, really, want to know."

Gaara unzipped his pants.

I stared straight at him face and said, "Gaara, I look to you as to a mother hen to her chicks. I have my reasons, and I promise I am smart enough not to mess with them and get myself into trouble with the Akatsuki. Please, tell me now."

He groaned, then sighed. He looked at me, and finally said, "Oh fine! You are so annoying!"

This phrase paired up with his deep and melodical voice seemed so ridiculous to me. As if a child complaining about unable to get a toy he wanted while walking through windowed malls.

"Please?" I asked, my eyes wide and clasping my hands together so he would know my sincerity. "Please trust me! I'm just curious!"

Finally he said, "Well. There's such thing-well... I... I mainly deal with frontal combat. Like... I train news recruits, I get assigned to protection units, security teams.. etc."

"Oh, I see. Anything relating to full frontal combat?" I asked.

He nodded, looked relieved.

"What did the others do?" I asked.

He looked dismayed again. "Who?"

"Others." I repeated. "You know, people like Kimimaro-senpai, Anko-san, Uchiha Sasuke, your sister, your brother, Sai..."

Gaara officially looked as if he wanted to kill himself, or something else. "How did you know so many members?!"

I shrugged. I knew a long time ago. One look could tell. Beside with Anko-san, I saw Orochimaru right out the door. With Temari and Sai,it's obvious because of their eyes, their face, the way they dress, and their behaviour. The moment Sai enters a new environment, his eyes darts towards all possible exits, windows, head count and security features. He may not notice it, but I know that when he's studying or concentrating really hard, he will frown a little while holding his breath and intake as little air as possible. With Temari, I noticed not only the strange cloud tattoo on the underside of her arm, also the way she glared at me. It was cold and calm, and her eyes darting towards all my vitals, as if counting all the possible way to end my life. I noticed it with Uchiha Sasuke too, when he first laid his eyes on me. Despite him being drunk as hell and lying on Naruto, his eyes looked at me with such fierce and calm coldness it nearly froze me over. Which is one of the main reasons why I didn't smash his fucking head open with a lamp right then, because obviously it will result in my death.

Gaara finally gives up after another ten minutes of me begging, threatening, pleading, cooing, and continued bothering. He give me as much as information as possible. Kimimaro was in charge of assassinations. He is an expert in small weapons. He could get close to famous targets because of his fame in the classical music world. Uchiha Sasuke worked under his brother before Itachi went rogue. He worked as strategic commander. He became the face of Akatsuki after Itachi's betrayal, and he himself betrayed Akatsuki when Orochimaru threatened him. Sai and Temari are both snipers and excel in long range combats. Anko was a spy, and Sasori used to be a negotiator. He had a special knack for trading and business opportunities, and he was -well I suppose he still is- a genius inventor.

So there's all sorts of egg in the Akatsuki basket.

Why do I want to know? Because I think there's this one kid in the fifth floor dorm that I was in charge of-is in Akatsuki.

IV.

I admit. I never thought that moving out would be so... annoying. I had a suit case full of crap I had to organize into my closet, and I haven't done them because I have been working or shopping all week. I am worried about where my next meal is going to come from, so I have no time to organize my closet-is it even supposed to be organized? Can't I just... stuff everything in?

Well, to be fair, I have been a bit of a mess lately. Not only my part time job, which is to watch over two floor worth of frat boys and spoilt girls, also with my personal life. Now I did already promise Tenten I would be there for her every step of the way, but she's not making each step easy for me. I understand she's the bride and she wants everything to be perfect, but I honestly don't see how anyone could have a complete perfect wedding without a single mishap. She's searching for perfection-also for the fact that her future husband is from a branch family and standing up against the main family is a way of her saying "bitch you ain't got shit on us", to them.

Now I love her to death, but sometimes she can drive me crazy. Yesterday, a typical day for me, I did rounds around the dorm, then went to downtown and bothered Gaara, and afterwards, Tenten asked me to come to her dress re-fitting. Apparently she hallucinated that she gained ten pounds and no matter what the scale tells her, she needs to go to the tailor's to confirm. By the time we finished, and confirmed that she hallucinated the weight, it was already close to eight. Haven't eaten anything all day, Neji took us to a restaurant where he paid and I pigged out while Tenten stared at me with jealousy. She is crazy with desire to eat, but upon picking up each piece of meat or vegetable, she dip them in hot water to brush off all the excess cooking oil first. Only then would she put it in her mouth, as she chewed it thirty two times, the suggested amount of chews for dieting girls, and then swallow.

Throughout the whole thing I scarfed down a bowl of fried rice, a huge chunk of large meatball, and many spicy fish fillets.

Tenten would says, "Sakura, stop eating so fast!"

And Neji looked as if he agree.

Then I say, "I'm not the person who's getting married!"

That shut them up.

I feel guilty on bringing up my failed engagement every time someone criticize me for something, but it has made my life a lot easier so far, so I'm not going to stop doing it, or at least, until I find someone to full up the empty hole in my-

Who am I kidding. Alright I'll try to control it.

Tenten stood up form her seat and said, "I'm going to the washroom."

Knowing her too well, she's basically saying something along the lines of, "I'm going to go to the back kitchen and I will bribe anyone who will give me some food". This will take her a while, so I edged closer to Neji, who looked uncomfortable.

"Neji." I said.

He frowned at me before I even voiced my wishes.

I ignored him and asked, "Neji, I want to know-about the Akatsuki."

He immediately said, "I don't know anything."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry, I will ask you specific questions, all you have to do is to say yes or no."

"No." He said.

I ignored him again and continued with some questions that has been bothering me for a while, "I know Orochimaru poisons his boys, and I need to know if you know exactly what it is. Grandma has been trying to cure those who are poisoned by him, but I think he uses a variety different sets of poison for different people. I want to know other than poison, does he use any other methods to control his henchmen?"

Neji looked at me and said, "That wasn't very specific."

"Please." I said. "I... I want to know."

He then made an exasperated sound and scolded, "Why Sakura? Why did you want to know? Why is it that you must know this? Don't you know no good will from ever knowing stuff like this? I know that guy's... whatever his name was, his death offended you, but don't you think it's in his wishes too to not to let you get into danger? Do you realize what it is that we do here? Just stay in the light and-don't go explore what you can't handle. Including going to Uchiha Sasuke. Do you understand me?"

I laugh, "Why are you warning me off against Sasuke?"

Neji sighed. "Can we have a nice dinner? And you should know right now, you're not getting any information from me."

"Why?" I glared.

He replied, "Tenten will be sad if you're dead."

I looked up from the window and saw Tenten emerging from the kitchen still chewing on a bun. She swallowed and smiled at me from a distance while gesturing don't tell Neji about her secret eating.

I smiled back.

V.

When I was young, those TV shows and movies often showed a modern and chic city girl walking downtown, holding Starbucks and wearing flowery and flowy scarves and stepping in heels and fully armed with makeup. I used to think it would be so cool to be one of them, to have full makeup on and stroll down the street with pretty clothing and shoes. Because when I was young, grandmother raised me. She didn't offer me these things, nor did she care much about them. And as a young girl it's natural that you want to be beautiful and have pretty things. When I was in my teen years I discovered that I wasn't like them. When my head was full of names of herbs, they were full of brands and makeup. I slowly gained the conscious to be pretty, especially when one day I looked in the mirror and discovered that I'm at best could be classified as average.

I opened my eyes and begin to spend money on these things. Shoes, clothing, makeup, accessories and different bags. I slowly gained an idea of what it meant to have these, and how society immediately treats you different because of them. Nobody would look at me twice if I was still the girl who had her mind wrapped around different herbs and medicine and needle.

I don't know exactly when I crossed the line from a nerd to a sort of girlish person, but one day I turned around and I realized I have a closet full of beautiful clothing, at least twenty different bags and matching shoes. I realized when walking down the street, it just... is. I get glances from people, I gain confidence, and I have a sense to distinguish the difference between stylish and clash, but that's all there is. At the end of the day, I impress people I don't want to impress, and those who were impressed by me weren't because of outer appearance.

I walked into the Uchiha Corp with a sigh. Despite the click of my heels and the Coach on my shoulders, I feel so very insignificant. Especially when I was waiting outside of Uchiha Sasuke's office, apparently he has it locked.

Sasuke's assistant, Ryuku, poured me a cup of juice, which I was sipping quietly on. I leaned back and felt a little nauseous. Looking at Ryuku, the man was typing on his computer like crazy. I drank my juice and asked, "Ryuku-san. Were you in Akatsuki?"

He was apparently so shocked he slammed his fingers on a particular key and broke it. "Haruno-san." He looked at me and said seriously, "please refrain from talking about them in public. Thank you very much."

I knew that was the extend which he's going to talk about it with me, so I let it go.

Sasuke's office opened, and a girl with red hair emerged, who was busy straightening out her blouse and pencil skirt. One look at her and any fool could tell what they were doing just now. But I do applaud his superb sound control system. I certainly didn't hear anything.

She gave me a look and walked towards the elevator. Her steps wobbled a little and she looked as if she was trembling between her thighs. I thought sarcastically that it must've been great sex for her to react like that. My nausea came back with a vengeance, and I could hardly stand up straight.

"Haruno-san?" Ryuku stood up from his seat.

I waved it off, and then walked into his office. That beautiful son of a bitch looked perfect, as not a single hair was out of place. His eyes are glued onto his computer as he told me, "You have 8 minutes."

I snorted, then said, "I want to know how does Orochimaru poison his... henchmen."

Sasuke stopped looking at his computer and said, "It's simple. He does it like a pimp does to his hookers. He gets them hooked on something, or grasp their one weakness and exploits it. His methods are effective and efficient. He doesn't necessarily use the same drugs on everybody. For example, if a person has a strong will to live, he controls his life and the extent of it. If another has family members he cares about, he takes a hold of them and make sure-"

"I get it, I get it." I held up my hand and wanting to throw up somehow. I quickly moved to my next question, "How do...Is there a secret base or office?"

Sasuke smiled, "Of course there is. It's very obvious."

"Parson me if I'm slow."

He pointed at the building behind him, which is also a very tall skyscraper, and said, "That's it."

The top of the building says, "Ame Corp".

I stared, because it's such a famous company that supplies basically most of this city's power.

He shrugged. "Orochimaru is sitting on that top tower right now."

"Do you sometimes stand up and wave at one another?" I asked sarcastically.

He has the sense of humour to give a smile, then said, "Sakura, I'm a very busy man."

"Another thing-" I asked. "How did you get out of Akatsuki?"

"My brother." Sasuke replied.

I raised my eyebrow, signalling him to continue. He chuckled a little, then said, "long story short, I chose the winning side."

This made me a little surprised. Because his statement hint that that he once had the thought to choose Orochimaru's side. Obviously Itachi has the ability to go against Orochimaru, why are they not head to head? Or they are, just not everybody is seeing it? What exactly does he do now?

"Since you're here, running the company." I begin to think more like a journalist. "What does your brother do? He rarely shows himself in the spotlight, but everybody in this city has have heard of him, and depending on the person, he is either a God or the devil."

Sasuke tossed me a look of disdain, "Why don't you ask him that?"

"I don't-" I was going to say I don't want to bother him because in actuality he terrifies me. But it's very embarrassing to say that, so I pretend to blush a little and look away, "he's too pretty." I said in my most girlish voice.

Sasuke looked as if he's disgusted. Of course he knows his brother is too pretty, but to hear that from a girl he has slept with-or a girl he doesn't like to begin with-must irritate him. It's not a surprise when he pointed at the door and said, "Sakura, you have ten seconds to decide either to lock that door and strip naked in front of me, or get out and bother somebody else."

I stood up and stared at him in the most contempt a look could hold, "Uchiha Sasuke. Are you not ashamed of what you are doing? Are you not ashamed of fucking your way around town-be it men or women-"

"Haruno Sakura." He stood up, "I'm counting from ten."

I quickly yelled, "You are the epitome of the lowest depth a human being could sunk to, you are a fucking disgrace to your gender, and even though you are beautiful, you are so rotten on the inside it disgusts me!"

After yelling that, I ran.

Huh, I suppose somewhere deep deep down inside my heart, I hate his guts, especially after he fucked someone else just a few minutes ago.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: I updated two of my stories within 24 hours, I think I deserve a candy or something.


	16. Chapter 16

July 14, 2013

I.

I had such a wonderful dream yesterday. So wonderful that I didn't want to wake up.

I was roaming around in the dormitory when a boy came up to me and yelled in a hurry, "Sakura-san, you have to come! They're drinking and having a party in public!"

I of course grab all my key cards and folders and ran, but when I arrived at the top floor(which is 23rd), I saw nothing and no one. I flipped back to see where the boy had gone, but he disappeared out of thin air. I quickly pressed all the buttons on the elevator, but none of them came. The light then flickered and slowly burnt out one by one. I was so horrified I pressed myself against the wall, and tried to close my eyes, and breath. When I open them, I saw Uchiha Sasuke.

In my dream consciousness I did not realize Uchiha Sasuke meant THE Uchiha Sasuke. Because all I could see is a man so handsome that I might cry from the lack of touch from him. Every bit of him is in proportion, and despite all his perfect features,the most mesmerizing ones are his eyes and lips. They are incredibly deep and narrow,and they stared into me with the gentlest look that I did not think he was capable of. He reached over and scolded me gently, "Sakura, why are you here all by yourself? I thought I told you not to get into any danger."

I think I half wailed and half cried in front of him, and I reached up to circle my arms around him, then kissed his lips. They were as wonderful as I thought they were. Despite the fact we rarely kissed in real life, I couldn't resist the temptation to taste more of him. Because in this dream, he cared a great deal for me. He circled his arms around me and protects me from any harm.

When I pulled my lips from his, he smiled down at me, "It's not safe for you to be here, let's go."

He pressed the elevator button, and surprisingly it opened. I could only follow him numbly into the elevators, where he circled his arms around me tighter, because he knew I am curious as to what exactly was going on in the top floor.

I didn't care then, because I was so happy I found him. I found someone who loved me back unconditionally, and I found someone who is handsome, wonderful, and powerful all at the same time. He is my perfect version of what my future husband should look like, and when I wrap my arms around him, it felt right-as if all universe is in its rightful place, and my heart beats faster than anyone could ever count. He stimulates me, just by giving me a gentle look or a kiss on my hair. He wield all the power when it comes to me, and in my dream, I did not think too much about all this, but I knew that feeling. The distinct feeling that tossed me up above the nine layers of clouds and into the heaven-that feeling of pure bliss. I loved it. I want it, and I found myself addicted to him, unable to peel myself off of him even when the elevator door opened and he urged me to go out. I wouldn't go, because I wanted to stay with him.

In the end he kissed me, and carried me out onto my floor, and his kiss was so entrancing that I did not know what I was doing until he released me, and the I saw the elevator door closing on him.

I woke up with a jolt, and I found myself unable to remember if the elevator had dropped and fell or not.

II.

Man, this Community Assistant crap is hard.

I used to be so proud of myself that I could handle any obstacle that was blocking my way. And I'm even more proud because of the fact that I found a job that requires me to leave home, and I can live somewhere else-away from the controlling nature of my Grandmother, who haven't called me in eight days, by the way.

I am literally living pay check by paycheck, even though the first of my paycheck didn't arrive yet, I am already planning my meal down to the dime. I can't afford to buy anything slightly luxurious or expensive at all. Things like brand names, or lobsters. It's not that I'm particularly fond of seafood, but after knowing I can't afford it, I want to eat it twenty-four seven. That's how I treat most things around me, apparently, including my boyfriend, so I have been told.

Anyways, getting back to my living situation. Basically being a Community Assistant meant that I had to go around my floor and make sure nothing bad happens. Like no drinking, no gambling, no drugs, no loud noise. It's annoying because there will always be crap like that that would happen. It's a tiring job but it's rewarding sometimes. Like working long hours and having many days off. This being one of them, having worked a 5pm to 8am shift, I woke up and forced myself to clean myself up and get dressed. After putting on some makeup, I grabbed my purse and made my way down towards the exit.

After a series of bus turns, I stood in front of the Uchiha Manor, not quite sure what to do. I'm sure they've seen me, because there's many cameras and things I suspect such as sniper rifles around the gates. But I couldn't bring myself to knock on the door, and it wasn't until Erika got off from her limo that pulled up behind me, she frowned. "What are you doing her?"

I made up a lie, "I'm here to... talk to your mother."

She blinked. "I see. Any particular reason?"

"I..." I tried pathetically, "I'm her friend."

She then rolled her eyes, "Yeah, she's known to take charity cases. Come on, let's go."

I looked at myself, wanting to confirm the fact that I don't look too pathetic, but the problem with that was-I do, compared to Erika. Despite my decent BCBG dress, I could tell Erika is wearing the latest from Raulph Lauren, with Armani sunglasses and a bag from Hermes. Things like that I could never afford, and would be deliriously happy if I owned one or two of them. I suppose this is what it's like to be born within the gates of Uchiha.

I followed her obediently through the gates, and what greeted me was a vast grass field and staircase that led up to the manor itself, and it looked more like a castle with it's elaborately decorated front door and statues. Erika swiped her fingers at the door handle, and apparently it has fingerprint recognition because it let her in. She yelled, "Mom! Haruno Sakura is here!"

I could hear her mother's voice yelling back, "Who?"

"Sakura! The pink haired girl!"

"Oh!"

A minute later, Chiro emerged in completely comfortable sweats, and she was so excited to see me. She must not have many visitors or friends, because she hugged me and asked if I wanted any cream puffs.

I nodded, because I would never deny food. If I have a chance to stuff myself outside, it seriously saves a lot of time and money so I don't have to eat back in dorm.

She led me to the kitchen-which doesn't really look like one, because there are silk drapes and curtains hanging all around. She pulled the fridge open (and I realized there are three of them) and grabbed a packet of cream puffs. I also saw there are various other snacks that need to be put in the fridge in there-so it's a fridge entirely consist of frozen snacks. What the hell, is this place paradise?

She paid them on the table and attempt to reach her fancy china plates, and I quickly said, "please, let just eat by hand. There's no need-"

"Thank god. I can never reach the cupboards." She retreated and then ripped open the package with such expertise I suspect she lived off of them. Then she handed one to me and started popping them in her mouth. After a few, she swallowed and said, "Itachi won't allow me snacks unless there are guests."

This is about the most chauvinistic thing I have ever heard.

"So, what is it that you want to talk about?" She asked.

I begin, "Well, I was bothered about Kimimaro-senpai's death, and I have this desire to find out exactly happened. Then I asked around, and nobody wanted to disclose any information except for... Uchiha Sasuke. Your brother in law, and as I asked, he directed me here, saying the questions I was asking could only be answered by his brother. And Itachi-sama intimidates me."

She laughed at this, then patted my head. "Dearest, this isn't something you should know."

"I know." I said, my eyes emitting sincereness, "I really want to know what happened though."

She sighed, then said, "Well, I can't exactly give you the specifics, but there are some details that are very... Wait. Are you writing about this or what?"

I was taken aback, because seriously, I did not expect her to be this smart. This made me look at her in an entirely different light as I frowned and admitted, "I want to go into journalism."

"Why?" She asked.

"Because... I want to make a difference." I continued. I have long learnt that dealing with smart people that there is no other way other than complete and sincere honesty.

She seemed to understand, because she asked me, "Did the death of Kimimaro scar you emotionally?"

When she put it that bluntly, it did, somehow. I nodded numbly, thinking about all this entire society and the web like network within it. "There are just too many questions that everybody has been telling me to ignore, because I wasn't supposed to know. But I want to know-I want to know because then I can make a difference from it. I want everybody else to know too-"

She held up a hand to stop me from my ranting. "Sakura." She said, "this entire thing is way too complicated. I don't even know the full extent of it, and I'm appalled that Sasuke dared to tell you all that, he-"

"-Is a selfish bastard, I know." I finished.

Her warm eyes smiled at me, "It's a very long story, Sakura-chan."

"I've got time." I said, turning over my purse and jackets to her, "look, I'm not recording anything. I'm just interested, and I will take a few notes now and then, just to job my memory. I won't make an article out of you, and I won't quote from you either. I just want some basic information, and I thought it would be a great idea to hear the actual story from a person who has been in such conflict."

She nodded. "I see..."

"And I really admire you. You understand, you have insight, you're clever, and I think that's why Uchiha Itachi..."

She laughed aloud, and said, "You don't need to butter me up. I'm going to tell you everything I know. Since I see no reason not to."

I sighed in relief. Praising someone is not something that I am good at. She laughed at my reaction, and tapped me on my shoulders. "Let's go to my drawing room. This isn't safe to talk here."

I think she's changing location just for the sake of not getting caught by other members of the house, because she was stuffing them into my backpack when she led me up to her drawing room.

Upon opening it, I could only say... She must be loved.

It was a great huge room with heavy drapes and many different stretched canvas on boards. There's rows and rows of shelves of pain and colors that's even more specific than a paint store. Mainly because paint stores sell cheap paints too, but I recognize the brands, they are all very expensive and at least around eighty dollars a tube. She not only have oil paints, there's acrylic, water, and paint brushes and paint sprayers. Her brushes are top notch too, and they're all lined up beside the rows of paints, forming a shelf of her own. There's a main cleaning some brushes by the corner, I almost didn't see her if it wasn't for Chiro's, "Rika, that's enough. Leave us now please. Go have lunch."

The girl bowed and quickly left the room as fast as possible, closing the door behind her.

I sighed in envy, because this is what I dreamt of. Well, I dreamt of a great huge library first, but painting is one of my passions too. This is just a dream that's too far for me to reach. Thinking back at the flimsy watercolors I have at home, I resist the urge to shout and squeal, instead I smiled, "these are wonderful, Chiro-san."

She smiled knowingly, "One day, Sasuke will buy these for you too."

I looked at her weirdly. How will she know? Does she know about the fuck sessions Sasuke and I have?

She shook her head and sat down in front of an unfinished painting of a landscape in the country, "Come on, I will tel you as I work on this."

"It's beautiful." I said from the bottom of my heart as I saw beside her.

She smiled warmly at me and begin to mix some colors. I looked around the room and found most are landscapes and portraits of herself or Erika. This is strange.  
"Why didn't you paint your husband?" I asked.

She looked away in slight embarrassment, "I can't do him justice."

This was right. He is too beautiful.

Then she continued, closing her eyes and placing her hand in her heart, "I memorized him, in here. I know every line, every color, every shape of him. But despite the best of my ability, I couldn't capture the essence of who he is. Even in photography, a snap shot of him seemed beautiful enough, but dull and bland in comparison to the memory you have of him. Same with Sasuke, I couldn't capture those two no matter how hard I tried, and in the end I give up."

"Even if you think you can't, you create of them, which is perfect in its own right." I said. Because I knew too well what she meant. There's something only I could identify in him in person, and any copies of him in print is lost in transition. I suppose then, it's an inferiority complex that will never be gotten rid of when placing oneself in front of the Uchiha brothers. Becuase that's who they are and what they meant-better than the rest of us.

I am very ashamed to even think about this, because I am a firm advocate of feminism. It disturbs me that i have fantasies of placing myself in danger and waiting to be rescued even though I have complete control of it. But somehow it just doesn't feel nice when I am the one who climbs the mountains, conquers plains, crosses rivers, and slays the dragons. The prince charming or the knight of shining armour isn't ever going to get old, is it? Why is it that in history princesses needs to be rescued?

But Sasuke is sort of like a princess in this case, because Naruto rescued him... Right? Oh my god, it occurred to me that I STILL didn't know what the fuck was going on between those two. Are they ... how did they begin? I knew there was a time when Naruto was running around and coming home late because of Sasuke. He told me in his blabbering ways that his best friend of like, thirteen years suddenly resurfaced in the face of society, but appeared in the form of a villain representing an evil group of people. He's trying his best to pull him back into the light, and apparently it's not good enough, because he isn't budging.

Oh what the heck? Why am I writing off topic now? I can't believe this has happened. I should get back to the topic at hand, because it's very... shocking. How should I right this? In dialogue or in monologue? Or should I tell the story myself, as objectively as I possibly could? I even jot down so much notes because of the complicated natures of the entire thing. She didn't even finish today, I need to go back tomorrow-oh shit, I can't, I have work tomorrow morning. Maybe tomorrow evening. Note to self, text Chiro-chan to confirm the time.

III.

Apparently Akatsuki did not start with Orochimaru. It started with this man named Pein. His name sounded oddly familiar to me, because when I was really young, he re-defined terrorism in this city.

It was people like Kakashi-sensei, Sarutobi-sensei, Tsunade and Jiraiya-sensei, and various other people (including Sarutobi-sensei's tortoise Ari), reinstated order. But they would not have done it without the help of Uchiha Itachi. In this whole thing, he was the one who sacrificed the most. At least, according to his wife. But after hearing half the story, I had the idea that he really did help a lot. At least, for the first half.

Pein is a very... eccentric character. He is the pupil of Jiraiya-sensei, but throughout various struggles in his life, he begin to loose faith in society and in this world. This happened so many times in various other victims of society, but rarely anyone is as powerful as Pein comes along and actually did something about it. He wanted a change so drastic and so great that he was willing to murder mass people by it. One could not judge him as right or wrong, because at the time, Konoha city really was messed up, yes. There was no health care, and the discrepancy between the rich and the poor became so wide that there's almost no middle class in between. So many kids grew up in the poorest areas of the city, and the could climb over the walls and see rich kids tossing cakes and candy around like they were garbage. Especially when it got so bad to the point that it's impossible to raise more than one children, and there are often signs of abandoned babies somewhere along the road and in the dumpster.

Pein grew up in this type of society, where the children could not differentiate hatred from happiness, because they have never experienced the latter. Survival, is the key. Survival against cunning adults, against other competition, against themselves. He begin to learn these things through tricks and manipulation. Many anecdotes Chiro told me about him were hardly believable, but I think they are the truth, because truth is often stranger than fiction. Chiro said Pein has been through a lot in life, including betting an arm against someone else for a meal. Killing other kids his age to prove himself worthy... I thought it was like a real life version of The Hunger Games, but it's continuous and constant. He emerged through this society and evolved himself on the top of the food chain, and he looked around, founding himself wanting to change this city.

But change doesn't come easy, no it does not. All those revolutions that they have written in books they don't happen over night. Rarely a drastic change occured without blood shed. It's incredibly pitiful, how stubborn humans are, and how they refuse to change. Pein knows that, and he knew that he is going to have a very hard time changing society without violence, so he established Akatsuki.

At first it was very simple. There was a total of around five people. All of them are elite of the elite, and they made quite some difference in this world. They were recognized by others, and mostly rich people in society. Uchiha Itachi joined at the age of thirteen, and after a mere five years, he made the Akatsuki known within the entire city. He solely in charged of one section of Akatsuki, and that was the firearms department. He sold and bought shipments that would start wars, and rumour has it that he has enough to finish off a small country. That's when Itachi started to gain recognition. However, at the height of his power, he resigned by staying low for a couple of years, and that's when Orochimaru joined.

Orochimaru begin a system of recruiting very talented boys and girls. Mostly boys, because he believed boys are physically and intellectually superior. The first ones he recruited are actually the Suna twins and Kimimaro. He used them in anyway that he could. Because he specialized in science and and biochemistry, he had an idea to create super soldiers. Soldiers that would perform tasks of five men and still would not get tired. Soldiers that would be thrive in different areas of assassination, terrorism, sabotage, and corruption. They would bring the change that was needed.

Unfortunately though, despite the fact that Orochimaru was taught by the best sensei in the world, he himself is not a good sensei at all. He tortured and imprisoned children, and most of his experiments tried to escape and caused many trouble for the organization. It was then Itachi stepped in to take care of these messes, as instructed by Pein. He created the rule of completing a "Last mission" for those who wanted out, and if they succeed, it would benefit both the organization, and the agent who completed it.

It's cruel, though, because it's almost impossible to complete. Many died, and it wouldn't matter to the organization, because the moment they want out, they are considered traitors. Traitors must die, because Akatsuki never forgets, and Akatsuki never forgives.

This system was reinforced with Orochimaru's developments of various drugs and poison. It further established loyalty within, and it's a fail proof plan to reassure loyalty, and it was very effective.

So this is basically the background to the Chiro's story, and her story begin before Orochimaru joined, and after Itachi gained significant amount of power already.

Her first encounter with Pein was a few years ago when she accidentally rescued him from a government set up. After that her life expense was offered on a silver platter, and she was basically placed in a luxurious mansion under house arrest.

Now this is the really interesting part. Suppose that Itachi fell in love with her at first sight-or at least, that was what she told me. It's hard to imagine Itachi as the type of person that would fall in love with anyone at first sight. But since she claims it's true, I believe her. Also she shook me and forced me to trust her on it, because she told me that if she have had known what Itachi was, she would never fall in love with him.

Apparently it was inevitable, because Itachi had her in the palms of his hand, and he wasn't about to let go. He trapped her and forced her to love him-it wasn't hard, since it's not hard to force anyone to love him. She admit she was foolish back then, and if she had known better, she'd avoid him. Because of all that shit that happened later.

First of all, Chiro was already familiar with most people in Akatsuki, in a way that is only superficial. Because she had a vague idea of what they are doing, yet she does not have the energy or the curiosity to explore exactly what horrors were they releasing upon this city. She told me that there was one time when she was lying on the couch watching a movie, and it jumped to commercials, so she switched to a random channel, and it turned out it was the news broadcast, and the screen was replying a bombing incident over and over again, while the headline says, "Akatsuki to blame". She turn her head to look at Pein, who was reading a book beside her. He lightly curved his lips at her and patted her on the head before switching the channel back to her movie.

I suppose in a way, she is smart in ignorance. What could she do? She was basically placed in a prison in the beginning. There was nothing she could do without damaging her reputation herself. She was trapped in place where ignorance was the best strategy in everything. Besides, she was only allowed to live with the condition of being good and quiet.

She said the moment she saw Orochiimaru, she hated him. Me too. When I see that man I get a sick feeling crawling up in my stomach which made me very uncomfortable. Chiro told me that Orochimaru brought Kimimaro in to see Pein, because he was one of the first experiments that actually succeeded. At the same time it poisoned Kimimaro-senpai to no end, but back then they didn't know that, nor would they care. Chiro talked with him for a while, and offering him cakes and food that she was making. Orochimaru and Pein was talking in another room, while Kimimaro watched her make milk tea and preparing cakes for two.

He has the gentlest soul. His eyes are pure and bright, and despite of all those horrible experimental torture that happened to him, he didn't blame anyone, or life. He pulled through and did his job as dutifully as he could, and he often brought Chiro flowers whenever he could, or mail her post cards from various locations he was around the world while completing assignments.

Just a couple months after Chiro met Itachi, however, she was kidnapped.

It happened all very fast, because she was walking around campus and wondering what to eat for dinner because she had to stay late, she was suddenly pulled away behind a pillar, and something pressed against her mouth and nose. She immediately blacked out.

The next time she woke up, she was naked, blindfolded and muffed.

Up to this day she had no idea who kidnapped her, because no one would tell her. But she could remembering crying silently and wishing for someone to pull her out of this life. She really did nothing wrong other than saving Pein's life, and look where it has gotten her.

She stayed like that for almost 36 hours with nothing to eat and no water. When she was released she was severely dehydrated and starved.

When she woke up again, she was in a hospital and wires and tubes all attached around her. It was Uchiha Itachi who entered. She didn't care who he was, because in all truth she would've said the same thing to anybody who she saw first. She begged him to take her out of this life, away from Akatsuki and from this constant fear and security. She wants to have a normal life and a normal job, and she refuse to live in luxury if this was the price.

He agreed, of course, but he didn't act upon it until much later. When it was a bit late.

Kimimaro was outside of her hospital room, and she knew he played a hand in her rescue, because when she was released from her binds, she could feel his voice in her ear, asking her not to faint. But from that kidnapping on, she rarely sees him for the next couple of years.

Now I should mention, up until this point of the story, Chiro was munching on green-tea pastries while stirring her watermelon juice, which I suspect was squeezed from actual watermelons without any chemical processing. I could tell the difference between cheap and expensive stuff, it's a talent. I was surprised that she could tell this story with so much calmness in her voice, so I asked, "Didn't this traumatize you?"

She laughed, "Oh, this? No way, the real shit came later."

I didn't think I could be shocked further. So I politely asked her to continue while I scarfed down a piece of tiramisu, having the idea that I might loose my appetite later.

Akatsuki was already a mess by then. Pein is experiencing internal conflict and external conflict at the same time. Internal caused by Orochimaru, and external caused by Itachi. Those three always have a difference of opinions, and like all leaders, they are not satisfied with being put on equal grounds. It was then that Orochimaru begin to mass collecting experimental subjects for his super soldiers. Itachi was doing.. God knows what, because he was extremely secretive and nobody knew what he was doing. Probably why nobody wants to mess with him.

Little did he know, however, that Orochimaru recruited Uchiha Sasuke.

Having another Uchiha under his palms, he felt the need to overthrown Pein, and in turn threaten Uchiha Itachi.

Several things happened at once around that time. First, Chiro got pregnant. She has always loved children and volunteered at various daycares. This made her deliriously happy, but she has yet to tell anyone. Their relationship isn't public to others outside of their own circle.

Second, Orochimaru was evil enough to try to stick a thorn between the Uchiha brothers by sending Sasuke on a mission to kill Chiro.

Third, Itachi was trying to kill Pein.

So in the middle of all this mess, Chiro felt something was wrong, and she hesitated before calling the police. She was in time to save her life, because if they arrive a bit later, she'd be dead.

At that time Kakashi wasn't the Commissonner yet, he was just a sergeant with an honorary title. He received Chiro's panic call arrived on scene immediately. By then Sasuke was about to kill her, but hearing the ruckus with the police, he turned it into a hostage situation.

With all this tension, threats of bullets and pressure, she tried to escape by struggling. Sasuke got annoyed and he bumped her head against a table. The corner hit her pelvis, and she immediately collapsed and rivers of blood pooled beneath her.

At this point in the story, I was wiping away tears and had such a sad and solemn face on. My whole mood was incredibly depressed and I cursed at Uchiha Sasuke, that bastard. Well in his defence he didn't know it was his brother's child. Probably wouldn't have made a difference because of he blames Itachi for walking out on him when he was young. But regardless, it made Chiro so sad that she started to have suicidal tendencies. She told me she was so depressed at that time that she wanted nothing more to join her unborn baby in the other side of the world. She would bury her head in her pillow and cry for hours and hours, refusing to eat or to drink. She would scream if she sees a Uchiha in her view, and she hated both of them with such a vengeance that she went mad at the sight of them.

As much as I want to hear what happened next, the actual Uchiha Itachi walked into the drawing room. He put his hand on his wife's shoulders and asked us kindly what we were doing. She told him we were chatting and painting. He smiled and kissed her, saying it's time for her afternoon nap.

And I was sent away. For heaven's sakes.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: basically the same thing from Apathy. I am too tired to create another universe. Potato.


	17. Chapter 17

July 17, 2013

I.

The deadline to my article ends in a few days and I still have no idea what I should write on. Anything Chiro told me might be too private to put into the newspaper, not to mention, it might be biased. Even though the news are all about biased opinion these days, I still would like to deliver some truth. Besides, I can't just advertise her pains and suffering as if it was all nothing. I need to think of a new way to start this.

The day before yesterday, when I got back from the Uchiha Manors, I felt exhausted. Even though all I did was listening to stories. I cried most of the time when she was speaking, and I couldn't stop myself. It seemed that everything that has happened to her is like, a watermelon compared to a sesame seed compared to me. I justify it, however, by arguing that her life right now is so much better than mine, so it all makes up for everything. But it's unfortunate though, she desperately wanted a boy, but she can never have a child again.

The story ended last time when Sasuke killed his nephew. It was unintentional, and I don't know how he felt about it, but I bet it's not good. I hope he beat himself over it so much that he too suffered a lot. It wouldn't be fair if he doesn't.

So, the story continued.

Chiro was in such a depression that she did not want to see any Uchihas. She moved out of the large mansion herself and reside in a small apartment in Hamptons with very tight security, under the radar of the Uchihas, of course.

She knew the feeling of being followed, because it's an awful feeling. She could sense someone watching her twenty four seven, and she knows that she doesn't have any privacy. After a month of living like that, she got a visit from Kimimaro.

Kimimaro purely wanted to make sure he was alright. He first saw that she was healthy and fine, so he let out a breath of relief, but then Chiro soon confided in him that she's going insane. She felt like killing herself if she is going to be couped up in here any longer. She wants to start over, she wants somewhere far away from Konoha and start a new life. Even though she knew it was impossible, she kind of hoped that both Orochimaru and Itachi would let her go. If they don't however, then she supposed death was her only option.

At this point in the story Chiro told me how ashamed she was of asking Kimimaro of such a difficult task. She did not realize that he still held his loyalty to Orochmaru and the organization, and betrayal only meant death. In addition to the fact that Kimimaro was a man of great responsibility and empathy. He did not want to betray anyone, so he first promised Chiro a brand new life somewhere else, far away form here, then he said he needs a little time. Since she couldn't wait, he will be a week, tops.

He then went to Orochimaru, asking him if he could release him from this contract. By that time the rule of "last task" was already in place, and Orochimaru was very annoyed at Sasuke for not completing his mission. Sasuke was equally annoyed at Orochimaru for sending him to kill his own sister-in-law and nephew, so when Kimimaro came with this request, it was during a very bad time. Orochimaru personally said, "if you murder Pein, you can have your freedom."

Kimimaro actually believed him and therefore attempted to do it. But knowing Pein isn't an easy target, he prepared and paved the path for Chiro to get out of the country first. He spent a large sum of money to prepare her a new identity, and gave her everything she needed to start fresh. Then he proceeded to prepare to kill Pein.

Chiro didn't know the price one had to pay to resign from Akatsuki. She thought it was as simple as signing a letter, or buying a stack of cupcakes. She thought that life was good, and everything has finally gone on her favor, and she felt like she was going to live a new life without the grasp of Uchiha Itachi.

She waited at the airport, remembering what Kimimaro told her. If he does not show up before boarding time, leave without him. She waited and waited and waited, but she turned around, and saw a tired and desperate Uchiha Itachi, waiting for her at the gates.

Uchiha Itachi has just got off from an intense battle with Pein. He succeeded. But even he was not too sure of the outcome. Imagine his surprise when he was exhausted and depleted, and the news of his wife to be attempting to leave him. It would drive anybody crazy, and therefore he ruthless cut off all Chiro's outside contacts, and once again imprisoned her in this big mansion, and this time, she had no chance to escape.

Kimimaro didn't have to kill Pein, since Itachi did it for him. However, Orochimaru was unwilling to let him go. Kimimaro was very loyal and honest, letting him go would be letting go an extremely useful asset. He has no morals or ethics, and therefore he drugged Pein into submission.

Knowing that Itachi was coming for him next, Orochimaru decided to strick back immediately. He led a small army of his soldiers into Uchiha Manor, and blew the place to pieces. However, he found that what waits him within ruins isn't Itachi. It was Uchiha Sasuke.

Uchiha Sasuke critically wounded Orochimaru, and he barely escaped alive.

That was the end of Orochiimaru... at least, for the next six years.

Back to Chiro. She attempted suicide several times, and during the last time, when she swallowed too much sleeping pills, she discovered that she was pregnant.

It saved her from depression, as a small baby inside her was now her main source of happiness and the reason why she's still alive until now. She was extremely overprotective, and she wouldn't let anyone near her who isn't wearing a white coat. Even the father of the baby stayed back-as she wished.

It lasted for a long time-even until after Erika had born.

Chiro isn't one to forgive or forget. She hold grudges for a long time. So during the next few years, she first pretended he didn't exist.

After a while, she begin to talk to him in very simple sentences. Mostly just to order him around, or to fulfill her needs such as more paint, more money, or more snacks. During the first few years, she lived however she wanted. She could go to Rome, and there still would be a dozen body guards with her. She could eat anything she want without caring about her health, and she did. Because if Itachi said no, she would stare at him coldly with threats to commit suicide.

So Erika grew up in an environment where she knew that her mommy did not like her daddy. She thought it was normal, it was the way of life. Until she saw other families, she begin to ask questions.

Those questions were soon silenced, however, as she was extremely smart and sensitive. She knew all along that her mother has always wanted a boy, and she knew that she had a brother too, but he died before he could be born. She knew it devastated her mother, and she tried very hard to be the perfect daughter that she should be.

She was the prodigy of her generation. She showed great talent in everything she does at such a young age, as if every single gene in her body she inherited from the Uchiha family. She was uncannily intelligent, and at the age of five, she could already apply algorithms and recite many lines from classical poems.

However, at the age of six, she was kidnapped.

At this point in the story, it was time for lunch. So we trotted downstairs to have lunch. It was very unusual to see Uchiha Itachi and his daughter already sitting at the table, waiting for us. It freaked me out a little, and I suggested I should go home and make my own lunch. Chiro laughed it off and asked them to stop freaking me out. As if it's easier said than done, because I was even more freaked out when the two Uchihas who looked so beautiful sitting in front of me smiling at me as if I'm a valued guest. Also I kind of a prejudice of them now, now that I discovered this was what happened to Chiro.

"So." Her daughter cut a piece of dainty steak and put it in her mouth as graceful as a thirteen year old could allow. She looked at me, then at her mother, then she spoke, "Mother, what were you and Sakura talking about?"

That little brat, she should call me Sakura-san, since I'm her senior. Although since she's in my research group, I really don't have that authority.

Chiro said blithely, "Oh, just old times. She wanted to know what happened when I was young."

I gulped, and refuse to look at the two Uchihas who has their eyes fixated on me. I looked down at my squash and butter soup, and cursed myself for wanting to eat so much, and also that their food tastes amazing. I was wondering if I could raise my hand and ask if I could order another set of garlic bread when Uchiha Itachi spoke politely, "Oh? Which part did you get to?"

I looked away in complete shame because in Chiro's perspective he wasn't portrayed in a good light at all. Even though it's bad to defile someone so pretty, but really he did do a lot of terrible things. But his looks could forgive everything... Could it? Maybe I am just shallow. But My heart basically strung up in a string when Chiro replied with equal politeness, "Oh, we're almost finished. The part where Erika got kidnapped."

Erika made a sound that's between a snort and a sneer, which earned a disapproving look from her father. He turned to his wife and said with the utmost sincerity, "I hope you guys are having fun."

"Of course we are." Chiro smiled brightly at him, "Sakura's thinking of becoming a journalist!"

I wanted to choke her. Isn't think the same thing as telling him that I'm prying information from his wife's mind and ready to write it out in articles? I think I was about to hyperventilate from fear, when Itachi said, "oh? That was an interesting story."

"Yes it was." Chiro agreed and smiling fondly at her memory, "Erika escaped by using a combination of acting, lock picking, and walked to the nearest police station. Oh, and also, Sasori helped."

"Yes." Erika said, "he helped by giving me a gun."

I was speechless as I stared at all three of them. Itachi put his knife down, "That's why I owed him a favor. If it wasn't for the gun you would've made it out."

"I could've." Erika argued. "He just made everything easier."

"Who did she shoot?" I asked incredibly.

"Kabuto-" Chiro begin, but was interrupted by a maid running into the dining room, "Ma'am, misses. Sir, your brother is here."

Itachi smiled the never fading smile on his lips and said, "Great, send him in."

He didn't need to be sent in, as Uchiha Sasuke stride into the dining room with big steps, I stared at him as he glanced at all of us, and sat down on the opposite end of the table from Itachi. "Soup and steak, please." He ordered, "Also, more garlic bread for her. She's been staring at the breadbasket." He pointed at me.

The maid retreated, which left us all in an awkward silence, until Itachi said, "Brother, you know Sakura. She has been coming here to keep Chiro company."

"Oh?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "I heard. My sister-in-law likes to reminisce the good old days."

"Somethings just sticks with you, I guess." She replied casually.

I cowered in front of them, and I really don't know what I should do now. Maybe coming here was a mistake. They are such an eccentric family that held so many secrets that it's almost impossible for me to not pry into them. It's so interesting, like a book that just goes on and on. However, they're also very dangerous. I suppose I have to watch my back every time I turn around.

"I see that. She has been crying." Sasuke commented on my face and swollen gold fish eyes. I quickly lowered my head further, and Erika said, "that's all I could hear when I walked past mother's drawing studio. How much tears could she have shed? I didn't even cry this much when I got kidnapped."

I wanted to dig a hole on the ground and never get out. This is getting way too embarrassing for me. I want nothing more than to leave here, and as if they could sense it, Itachi spoke, "Sakura-san. I heard you're going into journalism."

I coughed, and after swallowing a few gulp of water, I nodded, "yes, I applied for a few companies."

"Any luck?"

"The Guardian asked me for an interview." I replied, "In fact, it's just the day after tomorrow."

I felt the need to be completely honest with him, because let's face it. They all have this uncanny ability to detect lies.

"Ah, that's wonderful. The Guardian belonged to...?" He raised his eyebrow at Sasuke, who answered, "The government, brother. They belong to the Konoha government."

"I see." Itachi answered, "I wish you all the luck in the world."

I stood up, "Thank you very much, I think it's time for me to go, I have to go prepare for my article."

"Great. Sasuke, drive her." Itachi said.

I was about to open my mouth to protest, but Itachi's eyes fixated on me and spoke, "Yes?"

I closed my mouth without making any sounds.

If Sasuke has a habit of rolling his eyes, he would do it right now. He didn't, however, as he stood up and said, "I'll take my steak to go."

"I will have it delivered at your door." Itachi smiled at him.

Chiro giggled a little before hugging me and said, "Bye! Come again soon! After your interview?"

"Of course." I smiled with difficulty, and exited the dining room with Sasuke.

The moment we walked out of the Uchiha Gates, he glared at me with a look so fierce that I almost stumbled upon sight. I immediately turned around and said, "I'll take a cab-"

"With the money left on your bank account?" He sneered.

I didn't know whether to be offended or appalled, so I replied, "... to a bus station..."

His eyes glared into mine and said with difficulty, "You need to learn your place."

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. When I tried to close it, I found myself uttering a stuttering strands of sounds that sounds like something familiar like "O...o... y... you..."

He looked annoyed, "Do you honestly think yourself as clever, attacking the weakest member of my family?"

I didn't know where he got the impression of to attack, but since he kept on talking, I went silent.

"My sister-in-law is very fragile to begin with, I don't understand why you're forcing her to tell you the story which you could've find by going to Sasori or Gaara-"

"They wouldn't tell me!" I yelled.

He shot me another harsh glare, and I looked away in annoyance as he continued, "Do you understand, the importance of tact? Do you realize, how inappropriate it is for you to chase her down because of ... whatever this is, an article? You're writing?"

"I'm not going to put her in it!" I protested.

He opened the door to his Ferrari for me. It's bright red and very loud. I refused to go in, so he shoved me inside and I fell onto the seats. He didn't even allow me to sit in front, instead I was graced with the wide backseat.

"Whatever you're writing," he swiped his finger along a sensor and the car started, "leave our family out of it. I'm going to deal with you in the same way as I deal with most publishing companies. If I see our name in print used in a context that I did not like, you can stay at home and wait for a lawsuit."

I frowned, and suddenly has the urge to leap out of his Ferrari. But he already slammed his foot on the gas petal, and the car itself shot forward like a rocket. I quickly fastened my seatbelt, and resisted the urge to cry.

When we arrived towards downtown, I asked him to stop. "This is good, I can go back from there."

He tossed me a look and continued driving. At last we reached a tall skyscraper with the character "Ame" scripted on the side.

"What is this?" I asked him.

"Since you wanted so much to find out what happened," He nodded towards the building, "I suggest you join the Akatsuki itself and see what it's like."

I stared at him incredulously, and wondered if he was joking. Apparently he wasn't, because he motioned for me to get off. I quickly did, and he drove off down the streets in a heartbeat.

My eyes widened and I wanted desperately to cry. But it would be no use, since Uchiha Sasuke has left already. Besides, I don't think he'd be the type of person who would be swayed by tears. At this point, I really don't know what to do.

I suppose it's every girl's nightmare when one wake up one day and realized that no one around you loved you anymore.

This is my nightmare.

II.

Yesterday, my article was due. I quickly wrote a few random papers starting with my experience of having my heart broken-

Alright, alright. I admit, I just changed the first two entry of my diary and rewrote it to something that resembled the beginning of an article. I eliminated all the part where I talk about myself and wrote it in a sort of unbiased perspective. I titled it "Konoha's Children". A freaking crappy title, I know. I don't even know why I'm hoping for anything at all. I brought it into the interview, and they asked me to read a few paragraphs. Even though some of the interviewers didn't seem impressed, they asked me to leave the manuscripts and they will call me back in a few days with the result.

I left, rolling my eyes. It looks like my career in journalism ended before it even begin.

Meanwhile, just now, I just finished a... afternoon tea, with Uchiha Itachi's wife. She claimed that she ran into me completely by accident, and I doubt that she just entered this particular Starbucks and found me in it. I suspected she used her powers as an Uchiha to track my whereabouts. Because when I felt something sitting down in front of me, I looked up, and saw her smiling face.

"Hi." She said.

I blinked for a few times, then answered in surprise, "Hi! I'm... Sorry, I just spaced out for a few moments. I... Chiro-chan, what are you doing here?"

She smiled sweetly at me, and said, "I convinced 'The Guardian' to let you have a column. Which you can run around approximately 2k words on a weekly basis."

Oh my god! I stared at her as if my entire world just rebuilt itself up again. 1000 words! That's like a miracle! It's a freaking miracle in heaven! It will take like, at least half a page, right? And what string would she have to pull to pull this off? I am suddenly so happy with what she was doing that I found it hard not to jump up and down in excitement and wave my hands around. I don't show happiness well, so it would look like a series of really bad jumping jacks, but I am hoping it would show, because my face screamed happiness and she smiled back at me and repeated, "I understand, dearest, I understand."

I couldn't speak of how happy I was, and the next things she said calmed me down a little. She said, "I went to the Guardian myself and looked over your article entry. I really liked your... What is it called? Is it a story?"

"Sure, story." I stuttered. Because it was written in third person point of view, and I changed all the names of most people. But anyone in this circle would see it as pretty obvious who I was talking about. Then it occurred to me that I didn't put Uchiha Sasuke in a totally positive light. Why did she like it? Is it because that I bashed him? Note to self, more bashing. But Uchiha Bastard already told me that if he sees his name... Technically it's not there, but what if he reads it and decided to kill me?

My expression must've said it, because she placed a hand on mine and said, "Don't worry about the brothers. I will talk to them."

I imagine since the hell they have put her through, it must've been very hard to say no to her. A sudden envy and pity filled me up and I looked at her with the same expression that I look at a puppy drained in the rain of, but then immediately shifted it to the way I look at Tsunade-san, with countless admiration in my eyes.

She laughed at me and patted my head, "the reason I tell you this, is for you to learn from my mistakes. I imagine you will join our family very soon..."

I was confused. "Join, as in, having dinner?"

She laughed harder. "Sure. Whatever you think. But please, I trust you to have your own discretion..."

"Of course!" I said, knowing what she meant.

She smiled at me warmly and said, "Sakura, there's something else you have to know."

I listened with the utmost focus.

"You know that, I could only protect you from my family. Other than that..."

I smiled at her and replied that I completely understand. Even thought that I probably don't.

She hugged me warmly and handed me a key card that is coated in expensive metal, and said, "Keep this with you."

"What is it?" I asked.

She smiled, "It's a key. If you ever need anything-anything at all..."

I tucked it inside my wallet and hugged her back. I imagine I'm looking at her like a puppy looking at his master.

She patted my head and exited Starbucks.

It seemed to me that she has this firm belief that one day, I will end up with Uchiha Sasuke. I don't know where she got her faith from, because it's fucking ludicrous.

Other than that she's a perfect saint.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: It seemed that in every story of mine, Itachi is somehow married.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

July 30, 2013

I.

Oh my god.

Even as I'm writing right now my hand is quivering from fear. I am not cut out for this, I want to quit, I really should not dig further. I think I have bitten more than I could handle, and I think I should stop right here and don't go any further. What the fuck was wrong with me, thinking that I could possibly challenge an entire organization all by my self...

It is one of the times I could say that I truly am afraid of something physical. A person or an organization. I don't know if I have the energy or the time or the strength to go on. I felt as if the part of me that felt safe and secure has been torn out of my body, and the rest of me is just pure paranoia.

Let me start at the beginning, because I think I need to write everything down in detail and smooth it all over in my mind. Maybe I will find some organization in my jumbled thoughts.

It all started last week, when there was a kid in my dorm floor, whom I secretly suspected that he belongs in Akatsuki.

Now when I say kid, I meant a boy that's barely an adult. He must be close to seventeen or eighteen, as in, freshmen in university. He rarely attended group meetings, and on the days that he showed, he is often bruised or hurt in some way. His eyes showed a glint that seemed dangerous to me. Nobody really wanted to mess with him, and the girls often gossiped behind his back, wondering what his deal was. Whether he do drugs or he cuts himself. Either way it's all just speculation at this point. The reason I'm telling this because it all started with this kid.

When I'm working my on-call shifts, I usually go around each floor of the dorm to check if there's any noise complaints. Usually I just go to every floor and make sure there isn't anybody having loud parties. Then I went each exit and stairs to check if all the fire escapes are unobstructed. So far they are all clean and portable, so I held onto my binder and walked happily back to my dorm. I was at first floor then, and I thought I might as well do some exercise and walk up to the fifth floor by stairs to burn some calories. I ate a huge plate of spaghetti and meatballs for dinner and I was not ashamed to admit that I think it all went to my belly.

So when I climbed up to the fifth floor, I was very tired to the point of lying on the staircase. But thinking of all the meat on my stomach, I attempted to do some sit ups, and I actually did a few. However, when I reached my third one, I rolled my eyes back, thinking I'm reaching the end of my patience and capacity, the corner of my eye caught a black metallic stick-like structure. My eyes popped open and I stared at it. It's directly above me, on the stair ahead. I got up and approached up the stairs to find out exactly what it was.

It's various sticks formed together like telescope or camera structure. Like photographers taking photos, but much smaller. It's made pointed to the window, and I looked through the window, there isn't much sceneries over there other than the other huge dorm building called Cascades, where all the rich kids lived. My dorm building is called "Tower", and that was all it was, a tower.

"Huh." I made a sound, circling the structure, and debating to myself whether to take it to the garbage or lost and found. Finally I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and I quickly ducked below this one. Now that I reflect back onto my behaviour, I think deep in my bone I have this instinct to protect myself, and I knew that I should not just jump out and demand the owner of this strange structure to show him or herself. Instead I did something that was illogical. Despite my job as a monitor of floors, I ducked and hid.

Also I made myself as small as possible, crouching below the stairs and staring up through narrow floor slits in between each floor angle, I felt as if I was a criminal.

A guy came to the strange structure and begin to dissemble it. I breathed as slow as quiet as possible, and I tried to peek, and what I saw truly terrified me. It's a miracle I didn't yelp and jump out. Because I saw a boy in all black-the boy who lived on my floor who I suspected to be a bit emo-and he was dissembling a rifle.

Relax, I could tell the difference between a telescope and a rifle, and that freaking thing is definitely a rifle. I'm not a gun nut, but I could tell what a trigger or handle of a gun was, and what he was dissembling is definitely it.

I leaned my head back to a wall behind me and tried my very best to breathe as slowly as possible in order to not be detected. Fear rose up against my chest and I realized for the first time that there's a machine that is designed to kill humans mere meters away from me. That is more terrifying is that it's in the hands of a boy that's a few years younger than I am. I was curious and I looked over his file, Konohamaru, currently has no family relations to anyone, and his record is as clean as a sheet. In other words, he's boring.

Definitely not now.

It was five minutes after he has gone that I trembled up from my spot and climbed up to the door and got into the fifth floor hallway. I wobbled down to the elevator and attempted to get to the first floor, where my manager was.

Should I tell them? Or should I not?

I was still debating when the elevator reached the first floor, and I wobbled up to the front desk, my mouth opened but nothing came out. My manager, a jolly man a few years older than me smiled at me, "Sakura-chan, what's up?"

I tried to speak, but after a few seconds nothing came out. I was instead interrupted by a girl running into the front desk with nothing but a towel on her and yelling, "He's dead, he's dead, he's dead!"

My head felt as if it exploded as my manager quickly went to take care of the girl, "Who is dead? Who are you taking about?"

As in a movie, I saw the manager motion at me, "Sakura, grab a camera and come and take notes!"

I felt my body move but I could not register the movements because I believed that I was still in shock. But by the time we get to the Cascades and found the body on the third floor at the end of the hall, all of us cowered in disgust.

"Start taking photos." My manager instructed me while he started fanatically dialing on his phone.

I am pretty sure this has never happened in the last five years of residence-someone lying in a pool of blood, died. And I instinctively knew how this came to be. My head flipped around towards the window, and not to my surprise, it was open.

I watched in numbness as the police came, and everybody stared at the scene before the police taped the entire area. I sat on the bench at the end of the hallway while there's a blanket covering me. I hugged myself as I stared at everything in front, and a familiar figure appeared.

Konohamaru.

I looked on as he glanced his surroundings while following a crowd of noisy kids. He put on his hoodie before walking back to the Tower, and disappeared from sight.

Ok, my life has just turned from a romantic comedy to a tragedy to a horror.

II.

The murder thing made the papers.

That's right. Primarily because the murderer is still at large, and I am debating right now if I should goto the police or not.

The thing about it is, it's a murder involving Orochimaru and his company, and recently I have been so terrified of them that I kept staying in public places just to get away from the deafening silence in my room. I think I am going insane with the burden of seeing a murder, and also the after effect of it.

I researched into herbal tea and began drinking nonstop.

Even though I didn't actually see the murder, but it haunts me. I want to forget about it, and I wish I haven't seen it. At the very least, I wish I could talk to someone about it. But there are none-there is nobody in my life right now that I could talk to about this. Most of them wouldn't care or advise me to stay the hell away from all this, and my close friend Tenten is going to get married in like, a month. So she need to be completely focused in her wedding.

Speaking of her and weddings...

I think there is a innate behaviour to share your happiness to the whole world when you got it, and also there is an innate jealousy that rose up at whatever the other person have that I don't.

Well first of all, they make it very obvious. She posted all her pre wedding photos around all social networking sites, and she wear her engagement ring-which is shiny enough-all the time, and show it to everyone whom she talks to. She love being engaged, and about to get married, because it marked the next correct stage that a woman would go through in life. When I stare at her shiny ring, I realize I don't have one. When I accompany her to pick out dresses, I realize I am very far away from getting married. I don't even have a boyfriend yet. Also it reminded me that I was very close to getting married once-but that was a screw up. We were not meant to be to begin with.

Tenten could sense that I am out of it for these few days so she relieved me from maid of honour duty for a while to calm myself down. I really think I need to sit down and collect myself, because it's all getting too complicated.

I think if I don't tell anyone, I am going to burst.

Who should I go to?

Definitely not Sasuke. He warned me to stay away from this, and somehow I think I would get very little sympathy from him.

As I was debating, I didn't even have to make the choice, because the moment that I walked out of Starbucks while looking through my phone, I was invited to sit in a dark dark limo with two men in suits.

I gawked, and pressed down the button on my phone which I was hesitating to do, and went in.

III.

If this isn't like the movies, I don't know what is.

Inside, sits Orochimaru.

Orochimaru, like most of the guys I encounter, has the ability to read people. The difference is that he is incredibly evil and he doesn't care about you.

"Sakura-chan." He smiled at me so sweetly, and said my name with perfect politeness while reaching for my drink, "May I take this away from you? These seats, leather, you know."

So my green-tea latte was taken away.

"It has come to my attention..." He cleared his throat before looking ahead and spoke the rest, "that you have been meddling with my playthings. Or... ex-playthings, as you would call them."

I want to puke.

His greasy hair and pale skin and elongated fingers tapping at the side of the limo made me very unnerving.

"I don't understand." I said as innocently as possible.

"Do you realize." He begin again, and turning to me for the last few words, "that you are utterly useless?"

I did realize that, yes, so I nodded.

He smiled, "but the people around you..." A chuckle, "Oh, those around you... are priceless."

Seriously. Please let me out, I want to puke.

"For example..." He begin, "your friend, who is marrying a Hyuuga. Or your Grandmother."

I then said, "Are you kidding me? Tenten has a whole army protecting her, and my Grandmother has been protecting herself when she was my age. Why don't you enter her house and try her?"

He laughed, "So you have no sense of regret if something happened to them?"

I cut to the chase, "What do you want?"

"For you to stop prying." He said sweetly, "Especially when you're working for that paper now, I need you to stop writing things about us into the government paper."

"Why?" I asked, "They all happened in the past."

"Image". He said, "My dear Sakura-chan. Image."

"Are you going to let me go?" I asked.

He bared his teeth and said, "I see, you have no patience. But I think it is essential to keep in mind, when you caught the attention of me, it is very important to carry some of that virtue with you. Who knows, one day my hands may slip, and I may break your pretty little neck."

He did this while tracing my jawline.

Suddenly, a shot fired at the limo.

The thing itself is bullet proof, but it didn't stop me from flinching and yelling. Orochimaru laughed a little as he opened the door from the other side and literally kicked me out. I was rolling on the streets when I was helped up by a pair of large hands and a, "Sakura-chan, are you alright?"

I look up to see Naruto, in all his blond glory.

"Thank you." I said to him, my mouth dry. "I..."

"It's alright." He didn't ask for an explanation as he gathered my things and put them within my hands.

I stare at him, and I feel like crying. Not only because I have bruises and scraps all over my body, but also because whenever I am facing him, I want to cry.

At last I spoke, "I need to talk to you."

He nodded slowly, "I think that would be a good idea."

IV.

We were at a penthouse suite in downtown, and I swear, nothing makes sense anymore.

At first I asked, "Is this where you and Hinata lives?"

He shook his head, "No, it's... I haven't been here in a long time. Hinata never set foot in the place."

I was a bit happy when he yelled from the kitchen, "Tea?"

"Sure." I yelled back, looking around at all this furniture. It was all brand new, and seemed to be cleaned very often. Oh, I forgot, Naruto's family is filthy rich.

But now he stood, tall and serious, with tea in his hands. I felt as if over the past eight mouth he has matured so much it was frightening.

He sat down directly in front of me while carefully not touching me, "Tell me what's going on."

I slowly told him what was going on. Beginning with the murder that happened at my residence.

After hearing that, his face become solemn and he went into deep thought.

I know. Naruto, deep thought. Ironic.

He then looked straight into my eyes, and said, "Sakura-chan."

I listened.

"Do you want to hear the whole story?" He asked.

I paused a few seconds before nodding slowly.

"There is a reason." He began, "that I know Sasuke, and he was the way he was."

And for the next two hours, my mind was blown.

V.

When Erika was kidnapped, she escaped fine, yes. But there was something already inside her that was messing her up. She claimed she did not know what they did to her, and apparently she doesn't remember any of it during the first few hours of the kidnapping. All she knows is that it hurts from inside out, and she needs to escape.

When the Uchihas got her back, they were relieved, of course. But soon they discovered something wrong with her. She begin to develop a slight speech impediment, her voice got quieter and quieter, and she begin to loose interest in academia. There are days where she spaces out and return back to reality with no knowledge of how she spaced out.

The Uchihas were terrified-and they invited the best pediatrician in the country, but to no avail, the results all concludes that she's fine.

This happened during a period of a couple years. By the time she was ten, her intellect became average-and even slightly below average.

And during these time, Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Sasuke personally went to track down Orochimaru, for he is excellent at avoiding being caught. They chased him all over the world until catching him behind a small church in Celeste, and they demand for a cure, or an explanation on what is going on with the youngest Uchiha.

His response was that if Chiyo, master of traditional medicine, couldn't do anything, he couldn't either.

Uchiha Itachi's response is to point a gun to his head, "In that case, I would like to kill you."

But Sasuke stopped him just in time, and asked Orochimaru, "tell me, what is it that you want?"

And his response was, "I want a vessel. I want an Uchiha. I want someone who would willing to do my bidding without questions, and I want someone who would never, ever, defy me."

At this point in the story I stood up and almost screamed. "What the hell does he mean a vessel? Does he mean someone he can fuck with, or be with? Or be a part of?"

Naruto gave me a look and said, "Sakura-chan, please calm down. Do you remember in history class there was the great war..."

"What about it?" I asked, flipping through my image of the history textbook in my mind. "You mean the ones where our parents fought?"

Right. Now would be a good time to gave everybody a short history lesson on the war that took place a couple of decades ago. It was when my parents were still alive, and my grandparents were young-sort of. When our mayor was a little older than a teenager, he saved us all.

One would question why or how could a teenager ever do that, but the truth was, he had extensive help, but he strike the winning blow by going to the enemy base and assassinated their leader.

Yes, a war veteran for a mayor, that's Konoha.

The nature of this war started by a competition for resources, because there was a vast natural resource of an odd colored metal material up in Celeste, when it was first discovered, it cost fortunes. It could act as burning fuel in its liquid form, and it could mold structures and dry into

Soon people discovered that there were more and more of them when you go dig deeper within the mines. And soon, there was a war.

On the edge of Celeste,there was a mine that was split in between two territories. No one claimed it because of its insignificance, but ever since the fuel was exposed, each country is fighting over it like bees over honey. Because whoever takes over the mines, meant a great step forward than the rest.

This was one of the times where the government cannot maintain the mass chaos. Peace cannot created over democracy because human greed will forever be the strongest opposing factor to security.

So a war broke out. This war isn't something that is only fought by militaries and governments. This is a time for business, for smuggling, for recruiting...

Anyways long story short, Konoha is the only harbor that allowed anything to get pass to Celeste. And they fought over the territory and control of this place, which eventually led to an all out war. And with war, came a many outstanding heroes. Some are bad, some are good, and all of them wanted to win, to take over, whether to restore peace or to create chaos, it did not matter, because eventually the mine was depleted, and nothing was left in Celeste rather than large military bases and miles and miles of ice.

The most important point that came out from the war, was that many people died, and many survived. There was one that survived, Orochimaru, turned bad. He had his back on honour and begin to fuck around with many chemicals, experiments, weapons, and trades. At the beginning of the war he prolonged it by creating various bombs or weapons of destruction. Towards the middle and the end he begin to focus on strange experiments. Everyone ignored him at first, that is, before he appeared in battle field with a ridiculous claim that he engineered an army of super soldiers that could win this war-

And he was right, sort of. Well, in the textbook it says that there is a great villain who took the corpse of dead and loved ones and face them against the living. So the living would not fight them. The technical term for this would be "scientific abomination".

This abomination was terminated none other than the combination of Naruto's dad and his teacher, Sarutobi-sensei. They captured Orochimaru, and eventually tracked down each puppets and burnt them all. Their actions caused a lot of controversy, because after all some people would like to be with the shadow of their loved ones other than being with nothing at all. And so this created a split in the policies of this city. One group would strongly agree with Sarutobi and Minato-san, and others would turn against them and claim they have no sense of slight sentimentality. Anyways the more opposing sides gave rise to Pein (he was very young back then) and therefore the leader of Akatsuki.

Now, the rest is what Naruto told me.

Pein was very clever. He first used the pain and grief of people he controlled, and promised them to capture Orochimaru and re-verse the effect, so they can be with their dead ones again, while he obviously knows that it's a terrible act that is against nature. And during all this he focused on recruiting younger children who showed potential, and fed them and provided shelter. He used a combination of manipulation and paternal care to strengthen his army. This is not all he was excellent at, however, as he was also the main source of the underworld to the government. He would balance between connection of the public, and the private. He ran arms business under the eyelids of the public, while stuffing the securities with bribes, presents, some sorts of favours... Basically he was a legend that became the middle man between the good and evil.

But soon, some people questioned him. Those who followed him in the beginning began to question him on his policies and his original intent. And they believed he only created Akatsuki to profit, and not to bring back the dead-

Ridiculous, I know. But the pain and grief of loosing someone in the war was so great they would follow anyone who would promise them this. And so they started to revolt-which result in a trap planned together by men under his control and the government-and Pein jumped right into it.

Now we're getting closer and closer to what we were originally talking about. Because When Pein fell into that trap, the person who saved his life was Itachi's future wife. Chiro rescued him by accident, actually. She was just strolling through the woods behind her campus and her worried were how to pass her exams, when her life flipped upside down and she harboured a fugitive back into her dorm campus.

Of course they couldn't outrightly barge into a campus full of five thousand or so university students. And that's how Pein survived a death blow, and he lifted up Chiro from her sad life which she could barely pay tuition into a huge mansion guarded by hundreds of soldiers.

I remember this part because she told it to me, and at this point she also said, "if you have any resentment over your life right now, I wish there could be a scenario where you had so much money that you wouldn't know what to do with it, and you would know-that it isn't everything in life."

To which I replied. "I have about a thousand problems, and money could solve about nine hundred of them."

She laughed and patted on my hand, and then said, "Well, back then, I only had one problem... Freedom. And no amount of money could reverse time and let me get back to the way my life was."

But it was a good thing, because she met her future husband. So overall, I am happy for her. But I did not dare to ask her the question of if she had the choice, would she reverse time and live her life over without every encountering Pein... Because she sounded that the answer would be a different one.

Anyways, a bit off topic. Back to the topic at hand, Pein was clearly loosing his powers of Akatsuki, and luckily at the time he still had the loyalty of Itachi. He sent Itachi to find Orochimaru, while systematically killing off those who betrayed him. When Itachi came back with Orochimaru, Orochimaru already started a new experiment, a new plan, and Pein seemed to agree with it. So he left the recruiting and experimental procedures with him, while quietly ordering Itachi to watch over him.

And this time, Orochimaru did not focus on creating zombies. He focused on a group of super soldiers injected with various chemicals onto young kids, and train them in a physical and intellectual level. But he did not simply put them in labs, as he created a web that literally covered all areas of the social world. Hence Kimimaro senpai and his world of music, and Gaara with his excellence at... screaming on stage. Also there are various others such as a strange kid named Kabuto, is a world renowned social anthropologist. Note to self, Google him after finish with this entry.

Another thing that Orochimaru focused on, and one of the reasons Itachi quit Akatsuki, was his fascination with a naturally superb body of a young man. A vessel, if you will. Because he was dead determined on one day transfering his mind and thought into the body of a young boy that is a genius in his own time. His first target was Uchiha Itachi. And we all know how that turned out, because like, obviously Itachi would bitch slap Orochimaru into his next life before he could have a chance to even touch him.

Orochimaru isn't a stupid either. And therefore he approached Uchiha Sasuke, Itachi's literally long-lost brother.

Sasuke, out of resentment of his brother and a natural madness within himself, agreed.

In exchange for what, you say? Power, of course.

And the rest came along I already knew.

I am very sorry, but I think I'm going to end the entry here. Today Naruto gave me so much information that I only jotted down half. As to what exactly was he doing with Sasuke for the past two years I will jot them down in a future entry later. Because right now I just got a text that Tenten need to sort out her seating arrangement and I should go help her. Later we are going to sit in front of her wedding dress and cry.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: Because Tenten's dress is so pretty.

Ok, some confusion seems apparent. The backstory of Itachi's family is the exact same thing from "Apathy", I thought that was clear. But I changed and tweaked a lot to make the small details important.

I wrote this and the next chapter all in one go, and I will post that chapter tomorrow night, because it does seem a bit cruel to leave my dearest readers hanging. I know I might be updating too fast, but I hate it when I finish a chapter and just save it and not updating it. It's like kind of cheating to readers... I know if I'm following a story I'd want the author to just gave me all the stash chapters.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

August 10, 2013

I.

I felt so awful. I am such a bitch.

I really want to finish my entry from last time, so I will continue on where I left off. Because what happened this week is pretty... shocking too. It made me doubt my value and self worth. Also I regret everything I have ever said to Naruto ever.

Anyways. We are at the point in which Orochimaru is back in Konoha and raising the next generation of villains. Skip some time forward, most of them are shipped off into the world, and the ones that were just recruited or was so young, they have no place to go and going to train to be an assassin is so much better than staying on streets. Because being one guaranteed education and a future. Maybe not a steady future, but there is the promise that if you train very hard and become very strong, you could create a future for yourself. All this is are just illusions, but kids, they fall for them, and nobody is dumb enough to oppose him or care. So they kept being sent to Orochimaru's lair.

Anyways Sasuke worked for him, and he accidentally killed his nephew and traumatized his sister in law. He got out of the organization and worked for Itachi for a few years-eight, to be exact, until the date Erika was kidnapped.

So they got her back, and she became very weird. Her father and uncle hunt down Orochimaru, who fled, and ready to kill him, that's when Orochimaru expressed the desire for a vessel. Something that contain his mind and personality while having the perfect natural specimen.

I was so grossed out by this, but I couldn't judge. Because indeed it was a very difficult choice. Two pure blooded Uchihas, facing a man with the leverage. If he died, Erika will eventually die as a mentally challenged girl, which is such a shame because she was so smart. And Naruto said that he remembered when she was around six or seven, before she was kidnapped, she showed so much talent that everybody praised her intellect and predicted a future for her even greater than her father and uncles. She was the princess of the Uchihas, and she could do so much with so little, she showed interest in arts, science, arithmetics, and critical thinking. She is being trained by all the greatest senseis in the world. The Uchihas provided her with so much-and with one injection, she would loose everything.

So imagine the difficulty-

And I was so tired of Naruto not getting to the point I slapped him on the back of his arm and yelled, "What happened!? What did they choose? Get the hell on with it!"

Even though in my heart I knew. Because duh, Erika is in my research group. She's incredibly smart even now.

Uchiha Itachi was in a hell of a dilemma. He went into deep thought on what he should do. Now standing from his point of view, I could understand. It would be no contest if he only had to consider himself and his daughter. But at his home there was a wife that he killed, slaughtered, manipulated, and played many, many people for. He loves her more than life itself, and if he is gone, she would be doomed.

So he said to his younger brother, "you must so whatever you could to protect her... both of them."

Sasuke's response was, "Hell no."

So he made the deal with Orochimaru- five years. He would work with Orochimaru, and whatever it was, after five years, Orochimaru would finish his experiment, and he would take over Sasuke's body. Sasuke told him he could profit with him, but not at the risk of his family. Any others-whatever.

Orochimaru cured Erika while injecting Sasuke with something that would make him keep up with his end of the deal. But it wasn't lethal, probably because he doesn't want to damage his future vessel, and with each year goes by, his health deteriorates-

So he signed off his life lease.

And when he reached his point I shook Naruto on his shoulders, "how long! How long does he have left!?"

Naruto cleared his throat, "Um... actually, Sakura, six month."

I felt as if a lighting bolt struck me where I sat.

And then Naruto begin to tell his viewpoint of the story.

He met Sasuke when he was ending his tour in Silva. Naruto was originally shipped off to the military on the order of his dear dad. In Silva he met the Suna twins, and practiced many drills, shooting, combat... etc.

One time, he was on duty guarding a crystal mine, when he encountered Uchiha Sasuke.

Just as well, Uchiha Sasuke was sent to examine the quality and value of these crystals.

So they faced off each other and started to proceed in an attempt to kill each other. Sasuke already put his life out of his mind when he fights, and Naruto has a god given talent in combat, so they were both heavily injured after a few hours of fighting, and when discovered, both of them were shipped off to the hospital.

Temari recognized them both, and begin to forward calls to Konoha and identified the two. Later she shipped them both back to Konoha. And Naruto, having never met anyone who would gave him this much shit without being careful of the fact that he is the mayor's son, begin to visit Sasuke frequently. Soon they became buddies. By buddies, Naruto meant that he spoke most of the time, while Sasuke kept silent.

And two years later, they became BFFs.

Exactly how it went down Naruto blurred everything because he knew that I do not want to hear about it, but he said something very sincerely to me, "Sakura-san, you have to keep in mind that Uchiha Sasuke is a dead man walking. He is going to cease to exist in a few months, and everything he did, or has done, has no regards for other people or himself. Especially himself-because he doesn't care, Sakura, he doesn't care anymore."

This is like an arrow straight to the heart.

"So... the reason these couple years he went so out of bounds and ridiculous was..." I spoke with a very harsh difficulty.

"Yes, because he wouldn't be here to face the consequence." Naruto said, "And these years, I tried everything to help him. I went to see Orochimaru, I went to see your grandmother, and I went all over the world to search for a cure, for something that would get him out of this deal. Orochimaru injected him with something so he wouldn't back out, you know how he is. Sakura-chan, I am very sorry."

I went silence for a while, and then raised my head, "what are you sorry for?"

He said in quietly, "I am sorry, because I dragged you into all of this."

"Pardon me?" I asked.

"Because I meddled, Orochimaru was already very unhappy with me, and do you remember there was one time when you got into a strange limo like car, and they escorted you from downtown back to our home?"

Our home has such as strange sound to it coming from him, but my mind was too clouded with too much shit to sort what he had to say out loud, so without following his train of thought I nodded randomly.

"Well." He begin, "at that time they already threatened me. They threatened if I don't drop it, they would harm you. Sakura-chan, dear Sakura-chan, please forgive me for saying this, but honestly at that time you had nothing to protect you other than I. And I was so useless I had no other alternative or the power to protect you while helping Uchiha, and I tried hard to keep you out of harm's way, but you argued that I don't gave you enough freedom, and that's when you were kidnapped, without you knowing. That was a wakeup call, and while you were in that limo, I was negotiating with Orochimaru to let you go..."

I snapped my head up and stared at his with the widest eye I have ever opened.

"I had no choice. I cannot gave up on Sasuke. The Uchihas helped us so much and built a better Konoha along with my Dad. They donated so much money, and held so many charities... They built so many homeless shelters and orphanages, I really ... and Sasuke himself is s desperate, I couldn't leave him alone. His eyes-they were already dead, Sakura. They showed such hopelessness that I felt so awful when I see him that anyone in the world had to go through something like this. I can't drag you in, you were so innocent and clueless... and that's when Hinata-chan..."

My head spun around as I stopped him and said, "I can figure out the rest. Let me guess, Hinata offered a solution, right? You ditch me, and saving my life in the process, while she offered an alternative-because she had such a strong background that she couldn't be touched. Right? Is that what happened? And let me guess, everybody knew-Everybody! Even Ino, Neji, Hinata, Shikamaru, Gaara... everybody knew, right? Everybody knew except for me!"

He lowered his head.

In the middle of this quiet and small cafe, we were the only ones in the back. I leaned my head against the soft cushioned couch and closed my eyes.

After a while I took a napkin to cover my face.

I laid there for a long time, until it turned dark.

He drove me back to my residence, and neither of us said anything.

Before I got off, I kissed him on the forehead, and watched as he drove his car away and disappeared on the streets.

II.

I just realized, I am the most stupid girl on this earth.

III.

I think I cried my self to sleep.

IV.

I think, the most painful thing I have got out of all this is the fact that I am completely, and utterly, in love with him.

V.

I went to Gaara's large penthouse suite, because it's large and beautiful and furnished with priceless guitars and paintings.

I curled on his couch while he left a plate of cookies and some milk beside me as if I was a pet cat. Then he went to a photo shoot while leaving me with a key and a blanket.

I need to organize my thoughts straight. I think being in a new environment helps me think. In my own room it is so cramped and small that it was suffocating.

Watching the darkened skyline, I felt so tiny and large at the same time. In this city of millions, I am only one small being, and yet I am standing so tall, watching everyone. The lights, the cars, the planes that takes on and off on either side of the city, and the harbor which light up as bright as an amusement park...

It's so easy to read these stories in textbooks and not gave a fuck, but if one could stop to consider the consequence of each decision made in history to cause us to be where we are right now, one would think that it's so unfair that we were so blessed with so much, and somewhere in this mass skyline Orochimaru is doing his sick experiments.

There was a point in my life which I did not understand the value of health, and I took it for granted. My grandmother took such good care of me she had me bath in herbs and ate various soups from medicine. She was so disapproving when I ate junk food, and she had me take care of all those green plants at our back garden, and I took it all for granted.

It angers me, how Orochimaru could possibly play with someone's life like this. I was so mad that I kept pounding on the glass.

Fortunately Gaara's place installed with bullet proof glass.

Now that I think back, there was so many things that was so strange but made so much sense. The most obvious one was the thing with Kimimaro. He warned me, and he hinted. Senpai told me to ask Sasuke exactly what his relationship with Orochimaru was. He also told me to leave him alone, along with basically everybody else in the world. A more subtle hint was Naruto, why he never spoke anything about the incident, and he only apologized over and over, and it must have killed him inside, how sad I was back then and how mad I was and reacted to him. On a closer thought, Itachi's daughter Erika spent almost all her time in the lab, and we used to laugh at her and called her a geek genius, and she ignored us while focusing her entire energy on her research project. She is miles ahead of us, and she didn't ever stop. She spent so much time isolating and identifying different kind of poison, and I could practically see her waiting in front of Tsunade's office every time I leave campus. And then there was Sasuke's warning, and he told me, he specifically told me never to fall in love with him.

Everybody, everybody who knows about it was desperately trying to help him, and he just sinks further and further in to true despair.

I think, the problem lies in we care too much. We care too much about each other, we care too much about the safety and health of our loved ones. It became our weakest point. I could simplify everything and blame it at that, but in truth it sure is a low blow that Orochimaru landed on them.

I called Chiro-chan, and I asked her where Uchiha Sasuke lived. She gave me the address, and I took a cab.

Yes I don't think this calls for any skimping.

And so it was around 1 in the morning when I used Chiro's key card to open up the large glass building. After taking the elevator up to the penthouse, I stood in front of his door for like ten minutes deciding what to do. I want to back down, and I want to go back. But now that I am here, I might as well. But then I'm worried he might be asleep, so maybe he wouldn't want to be disturbed.

I was deciding, when the door opened in front of me.

He stood right there, with smoldering eyes and dark hair and as glorious as ever, and meant to be doomed.

We stared at each other for a while, and then I heard dripping.

His abdomen, on the side, there was a huge and poorly bandaged wound and it was dripping blood.

"We have to fix that." I pointed.

He took a step back and let me in.

Ah, I see, he was in the process of bandaging his wound. There's the first aid kit on the coffee table. He sat down, regardless of his blood dripping onto his carpet and leather couch. I carefully cleaned it and wrapped the white bandage around his wound. It was a gunshot. He already used a tweezer to pull out the actual bullet itself. I made sure it won't start bleeding again, and then said to him, "look after this."

I figured he had enough wound in his life to know what he should do next to keep his wound from tearing again.

"Sakura." He sighed at me, and I blinked at his voice. It's because I have never heard anything so tired and full of weary. It was one of those times which I start to ache, from the bottom and the pit of my stomach up, reaching my heart and spreading through all over. It hurt so bad that I have trouble breathing. I want desperately to fix this, to make it all better.

I sat straight while he lied on the couch and his head leaning against my stomach. His hair messy and face so stunning. His large eyes seemed empty and cheekbones more hollowed. I used my fingers to trace over his lips, and his hairline, his nose and his jaw, and I don't know how it happened, but my tears started dripping on his face.

He didn't move, and it looked as if he already gone. His eyes closed and eyebrows slightly frowning, as if painful. I wrapped one arm around his neck and bending down while burying my face in his hair. My shoulders started to shiver, and my heart quivers at the sight of him.

"I love you." I breathed out. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

He trailed a hand through my hair, and guiding me down to kiss him. Our lips touch, and he calmed down all my quivering.

"Do you remember when you were young..." He spoke, "When we frequently visited your Grandmother for sessions. I would wait in the garden and watch you count herbs."

I don't remember, because I am a heartless bitch.

"I loved you then." He whispered against my lips.

I wiped my eyes and stared at him incredulously. "You..."

I had a faint memory suddenly. There was a figure standing at the door when I was taking care of Grandmother's precious herbs. I was so terrified of being punished by her I was very focused on the herbs themselves. I watered them with a mixture of milk and water with the most care and loosened their soil so their roots can breathe. I like the work too, because it's often quiet. I allowed that pretty eyed boy to watch me because it was quiet and peaceful. But whenever I look up and want to talk to him, he would be gone.

Now I do the math, that was when I was early teens, and by rough calculating, he must have just accidentally created Chiro's miscarriage. That must be the reason he was so quiet. And he never talked to me.

A feeling slowly rose up in my heart. It's like I have chasing him for so long, and only turning around to find him was chasing me longer than I have set eyes on him.

And I thought it was weird, the way he looked at me, a slight frown and soft look. I thought that was the look of annoyance, but now that I think about it, it was the same look that one would be given to a spoilt lover. He can't say no to me, he tells me everything, he gave me everything I want, and he protected me from all those humiliations. And he was so careful when we made love, and I thought all those tenderness in his eyes were illusions...

He longed for me more than I him.

We could've been so happily in love.

VI.

I lay on top of him, on the wound free side, and entangled my legs and arm around his torso. I really don't want to be apart from him.

This felt so surreal that I thought I was dreaming. After making sure I wasn't dreaming I am having trouble believing it to be completely true. I felt the heat coming from his body but he was so still that I am constantly afraid of loosing him. I think I cried more than I have ever did. More than when Naruto abandoned me, more than when I realized my parents were never coming back. Eventually it turned into small sobs that I quivered with when I lay on top of his chest.

After I regained my peace I could feel his breathing, soft and slow, going up and down, up and down.

After a while, I dozed off, and I knew he didn't sleep at all. Because I didn't go into a heavy sleep, and I could feel slow and small gestures he did to prove that he was right beside me. Sometime he would stroke my hair, or wipe my tears away. He knew too, he knew everything that I felt, everything that I was afraid of, and he knows everything about me that he was so comfortable around me. However, I resent the only thing he hid from me, which is the fact that he thought it would be a good idea to be separated from me for all these time, and for him to go on without me ever knowing that there was someone who loved me without expecting anything back.

I wake up in tears, and goes in and out of sleep with constant tears. It was the first time that I faced with this dilemma, and I don't know what to do.

All sorts of emotions hit me. Happiness, hate, annoyance, sadness, chagrin, hurt...

What a fucking dramatic life.

When I was on the verge of crying again, he spoke.

"Your grandmother..."

I looked up at him, and he said in a softened expression. "I promised her to never approach you."

I replied, "I don't care. I really don't care."

He let out a inaudible sigh. I felt his breath near my ear, and I hugged him tighter.

He then spoke again. "For all those time in the past..."

I looked up at him.

"What would you like?" His expression genuine, "You can have everything you want, anything you want, take anything, anything, anything..."

I almost bursted into tears. He knew, and he cared more than anyone else.

I placed a hand on his cheek and brushed over his cheekbone and bright eyes. "I'm going to figure all this out, and you're going to help me."

He smiled in a slight bitterness. "Sakura-"

"We're not going to give up." I said. "We have such a long life ahead of us, and we are never, ever, going to give this up easily. We are going to sort this all out, and we will kill that snake of a man for everything he did-"

He leaned forward and kissed me.

It made my heart ache.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: Getting dramatic, huh!?

Well, there need to be a few things sorted out. First let's talk about plot. Some may feel that it's moving too fast, but seriously, after 19 chapters there out to be a few twist and turns and actually introducing the climax. This is edging away from a diary and into the territory of a novel. And over the last two chapters turned the entire fic around... and maybe some people didn't expect it, but I cannot leave too much hints in previous chapters. This is the diary of Haruno Sakura, not the diary of Uchiha Sasuke. If it was the diary of Uchiha Sasuke there would be hearts and flowers around Sakura's name (haha joking, no way). And Sakura, when she first started, was a shallow and cute little girl who doesn't have any regards for the bigger picture. So she focuses on everything that was taking place at hand, right now, at this moment. That's why there were so many random crap jotted down in her diary. She likes to write down whatever was the most important to her, and documenting every little detail of other people's expression, emotions and inner turmoil isn't possible.  
Think of this. In Pride and Prejudice Darcy appeared in like 10% of the entire thing. Yet we find that the fact he loved Liz madly entirely probable. Please gave me the same understanding, despite how badly written this is.. Seriously it was going to be a diary of a silly girl. Not like a masterpiece of mine or something.  
That aside, I'm actually quite proud of these past couple of chapters. Anyone who is against it, speak to me not in a guest form. Because hiding behind a internet facade while leaving flames, that's just bullshit.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

August 20, 2013

I.

I have tried my very best not to fall into depression. I think me being a pile of goo that cries all day isn't very becoming anyways. There is the chance of either picking myself up and do something useful, or I can just lay in his arms all day and never get up.

Huh, well. No reason not to do both.

This is what happened last Saturday when he and I... I don't know. We um, I guess, admit each other's feelings?

Oh god that sound so cheesy even coming from my mouth.

I treated his wound while he rested. There was so much to talk about, and so much I want him to know. But first, we have to get something straight.

I started with, "I think Orochimaru is plotting something. I just witnessed a murder."

"I heard." He had a jacket around him while reaching for a cup of coffee. Surprise, he likes it black. "In the university, right?"

"Yes, residence." I said, then I added, "I live there now, by the way."

He raised an eyebrow.

"The rooms are really small." I said.

He then replied, "Move in here."

Ohhh, the way he said it, it's so masculine and so... manly, I want to jump him-but I don't think he appreciate it much since he spent like all day the day before to peel me off. Now that I think about it, I may have been a bit clingy. Because the next came:

"And um, I still have a few courses next semester. I'm thinking I should um, take some time off."

He put his coffee down and darted a look towards me.

To which I quickly glared back, "Problem?"

He retracted his look, and then raised his coffee again. "What would you like to do when I'm at the office all day?"

I replied, "I will be in lab. With Erika."

"I bet she'll love it." His voice dry.

"And I want to finish this minor I am doing." I told him. "So I won't be totally useless."

His response was to sip coffee and block me out while researching on his laptop.

Seriously, if he had never told me that he loved me for a long time, I really would have guessed differently. I don't think Uchihas are meant to show too much emotions, because even after everything was made clear, his reaction to me bumped up from being annoyed at me to think of me as some what tolerable. I think it's a miracle to even force him to admit that he loved me. Maybe that's the only time he will ever say it to me-ever. Huh, I really hope he at least include it in our wedding vow-

Get back to topic, Sakura. Get back to topic.

"Orochimaru is always planning something." He said while flipping through the papers, "He could easily create any sort of disasters, whether they were natural or man made. He has already crossed the beings of living and nature and over to the hoodoo, juju, or some fucked up alchemy..."

"Dear, dear." I patted him on the shoulder. "Leave the description to the language pro here."

And I mean me.

He glared at me from the side of his eye while I racked my brain to think of something to describe Orochimaru's experiments.

"Uh... magic."

He stiffens a little.

"A dark magic." I replied, "I mean, yes. That."

"Do you think our life is a fairy princes tale?" he mocked.

I paused before choking out a, "...N..no."

Inside, I was bleeding. My short story idea-a princess crossing rivers, over mountains, slaying dragons and kissing the sleeping prince-was over before it begin.

He gave me a look before going back to his laptop.

"I think the problem is, that we don't know what he wants." I said to him, "Orochimaru didn't exactly provide us with a open heart."

"We know too much of what he wants." Sasuke said while tapping away on his device.

"But exactly what does he want to do with immortality?" I asked, "Do we know much about this person? Like, other than your body, what else did he fought for? Is he aiming for like, power and domination? He wants to turn Konoha into a battlefield? I mean, what was he going to do after he gets your body?"

He actually waited for me to finish. Damn, after being with Naruto so long I actually was used to explain every single little detail to him. But with Sasuke I could tell from the moment I finished the first 5 works coming out from my mouth, he understood. But I can't seem to stop myself to dumb it down. What the hell why am I so mean to people in general?

"Now that we're on the topic-" He replied, "I suspect his utmost desire is power over anything and everything. Right now he experiments with boys and creating them into super soldiers-"

"Yeah how did that go?" I asked him.

"It has its moments." Sasuke said, "He knows his experiments are lacking. He needs more time, more energy, more resources-"

"Resources?" I asked with interest.

"Yes, did you think that his drugs were conjured up from thin air?"

"What kind of drugs?" I asked with more interest.

"Traditional kind. They have a tremendous effect if mixed with modern science. He gathers herbs and various precious treasures. He also has a taste for various antique."

"Antiques?" I was quite surprised. "Why antiques?"

"He likes to have things that are one of a kind."

"So he's just a lonely and and selfish brat..."I tapped my finger on my chin as I tried to sort all this out. "Do you have more information on that kid he just order to have killed? What significance is he?"

"Quite twisted, actually." He turned his laptop around, "See here-The boy murdered belonged to the Taira family, and they just acquired a quaint grandfather clock made from - a top quality jadette."

"He wants it?" I gasped, "It's so pretty, oooo it's decorated in amethyst- ah-they're burying it with him. It's a family heirloom."

"That was auctioned off to the Taira a couple of years ago. In truth, it's worth more than the life of the boy, but not to the Taira themselves. Then again, it's not something that is so precious that he needs to actually kill someone for it. I wonder what's his interest in it."

"We have to get it before he does." I said. "This could be vital to your survival."

He glared at me, "Cut the cheesy lines. As much as I agree, it's impossible to pry that off from the boy's dead caskets."

"Is he even in the grave yet?" I asked, scanning over the article, "They said the burial is next Friday. Can you get into it?"

"It's not a party, Sakura." He sighed.

I glared back at him, "Seriously? Your brother?"

"He's not a tool, Sakura. I think we're wasting time on this, dear, let's just move on."

At the mention of the word "dear", I lunged towards him and cuddled against him, "Sasuke..."

He flipped down the laptop and hugged me in his arms, "Mhmm?"

"Tell me the story again, how you fell in love with me."

"It's loosing significance after about the hundredth time."

"Shut up, no way. You're lying. Tell it!"

"..."

II.

The fact of the matter was... I never listen to anyone.

So I ran to lab at eight in the morning on a Monday, which is something I hardly ever do. And I saw Erika, who was busy doing some analyst and synthesizing... of something. Man I gotta return here once in a while to do some real stuff. I could feel myself loosing touch of my roots.

"I need your help." I told her.

She hardly raised an eyebrow.

"It's actually for your uncle." I said.

She lifted her head.

"Ok, here, you know the murder that happened last week." I started explaining, "I was actually there, I witnessed it, and I know for a fact that the murderer is one of Orochiimaru's posse... things. And I know that he must want to get that clock the dead kid's family has. They're burying it with him because the clock passed onto the kid. Now I know you may thing this is not worth checking out, but seriously, using logic, anything that has Orochimaru interested is worth something." I finished.

That wasn't exactly the things I said word for word. But if I have to fill this journal with rest of our conversation about me persuading her, I would continue on for like, ten thousand words.

Finally she agreed to making a house call to them, and only the two of us. She said she's only in charge of getting us in, and after that I'm on my own.

So we exit the campus and got to the underground garage. At first I was a bit scared. Since what are we doing in the garage? I thought we were taking the bus. That was until she turned to a very subtle but expensive car that is a light gray and has silver tint stripes beside it.

Is this what a silver panther would look like if it was a car?

What's more shocking, is that she got onto the driver's seat and asked me in her shrilly and cruel voice, "What are you doing!? Get in!"

I quickly got in, because I find that voice too demanding and I'm a bit scared of it.

Seriously the Uchiha genes are so strong that they overtook most of the Erika's genes. Her long black hair and dark eyes, with high cheekbones and pale face. She could be a model, or a singer, or a politician. She's a child genius, and she-

It was already ten minutes pass until I realized that we're literally on the highway.

Then I begin panicking, "What the hell are you doing? You're 14!"

"Turning 15." She smiled at me, and said in a calm voice, "Which my ojii-san would never make it to my birthday party if you don't shut up."

That shut me right up.

III.

Apparently Itachi went off to an auction with his wife. So they're both gone. Erika snuck into her mom's room and got me a nice little semi formal black dress. Because she said her dresses were a few size too small for me, and I was ashamed because it was true.

And so we got all dressed up, and Erika called in a professional make-up artist to make me "at least presentable" her words, not mine, and we were off on our way-again, she's driving.

Hmmph. When I become her aunt-in-law, she's gonna have an ear full coming from us.

But how could she drive-it's against the freaking law-but wait, I don't think anybody in her family has never done anything that isn't against the law.

Meanwhile she dragged me from my train of thought and asked, "Tell me then, what is your theory of this clock thing?"

"Well..." I didn't really have one. Because I was just thinking to explore it and ask why is Orochimaru so interested in it. Sasuke said that the only possible solution for that boy's murder is the clock that is attached to his name. Because in truth that boy had nothing. He didn't do anything, or did he family ever make enemies with the Akatsuki in general. The boy just turned 18, and the clock is in his possession, in life or death.

The clock is actually a big deal, since all the news are taking photos of it and emphasizing it's value and criticizing the Taira family for not donating it to a museum. The family itself adopted a devil-may-care attitude and even said not in these exact words "we bought it, we own it, we're gonna bury it and there ain't nothing anyone's gonna do about it"

Since the family is so.. snobbish, I thought the only way to get in is to brought another family that is even more snobbish than they are. The Uchihas naturally popped into mind. Because I tried to get in on Sunday last time, and they threw me out.

"Remember, I'm your future aunt-in-law." I said to her after extensively explaining our plan of justifying our presence there.

We pulled up to a large house that is decorated very traditionally with a lot of tiles, bricks, and carvings. We got off, and I told Erika, "we should've worn robes."

She rolled her eyes at me and punched a few numbers on the intercom, which a maid answered. She gave out her name, and the door opened.

We walked in, and a very elegant lady wearing a traditional clothing of long sleeves and up do hair with chopsticks in them (ivory chopsticks) greeted us pleasantly and smiled at us.

"Erika, it's so good to see you." She spoke, "and who is this?"

"Haruno Sakura." Erika spoke.

I pinched her arm.

"My uncle's fiancee." She added very reluctantly.

"Oh, I didn't know the younger Uchiha was engaged." She subtly glanced at my finger, which I slipped on a fake ring, and she introduced herself. "I'm Momo Taira, lady of the house. Is there anything I could help with you girls?"

Erika pulled out a silk wrapped gift box from her ridiculously large handbag and said, "This is a token for my condolences. Your son-Ramada Taira was in one of my classes. This is a tragic incident and we want to pay our respects-privately first. He was a dear friend to us, and we would never forget him."

Momo-san's eye teared up. "Let me show you to his room..."

Ok as it turned out, his room was larger than the lobby of my office. And it's very neat and clean, with a large altar in the middle and some candles burning-and a picture of him right in front.

Man, what a cute guy, shame he had to die so young. He is quite a catch too, very athletic and rich and apparently a womanizer.

We both knelt down and bowed three times to show our respects, and lit a fresh new candle and put it beside the piles of burning candles. I turned my head and suddenly saw that clock-

Holy crap, it's actually made from jadette.

Now is not the time to tell my readers my extensive research in jade and jadette, but just know that jadette is worth ten times more than jade. It's harder, prettier, and comes in various different colors and sizes. The most valuable being the water or the crystal style jadette, where the entire body itself shows some slivers of flaws while the surface is entirely transcluscent. It is incredibly hard to find one piece that large, and it was actually made into a small clock. With all the needles and time carved on top, and each hour garnished with large purple amethysts. Is this family trying to get their son's grave robbed?

But at the time I thought of Orochimaru and quickly nudged Erika, who clutched her stomach and whimpered, "Momo-chan, my stomach, I am having some acid reflux lately, pardon me while I find some-" then it's pretending to search in the bag, and cue the gasp, "Oh my god, I left my tums at home-"

"I am sure we have some, dear!" Momo panicked, but mainly it's because I suspected what would happen to her family if the Uchihas found out their heiress was in pain-within walls of Taira's family.

So we all followed her to the hallway, but half way many servants came and I quickly snuck back into that kid's alter.

It did occur to me at some point that what I'm about to do is quite unethical, but I think lives are at stake at this point. How was it possible that I have time to think about what is ethical and what is not right now? I am about to marry someone who is dying-

Man, you'd think I'd know the difference between pretend and reality.

Anyways I knocked over the glass cover and grabbed onto the clock. Upon a first examination it's about as large as three apples-yes I heard the smurf reference-and I twisted it around. Other than the priceless thing itself I really don't see what's valuable about it. It has a top, a bottom, a clock itself, and that thing that acts like a pendulum by swinging back and forth...

Oh my god, was Uchiha Sasuke right? This thing has no value in itself? All it does is actually being expensive, and nothing else? What the fuck-

I did not realize I had the thing for five minutes already, because I could hear a scream and a yell, "What the hell are you doing!?"

Momo Taira is standing in her son's room's doorway, screaming at me. She can't actually wrestle me to the floor because she's a fragile lady, so she pointed to me and yelled for her servants, "Stop her, stop her, she's stealing my baby's clock-"

I was so deafened by her yell that I dropped the clock.

Now I did mention that jadettes are known for their tenacity. So don't worry, it didn't smash into a million little pieces, but however, it did get chipped and also the bottom completely fell out from the top. It's like a bottom lid that just cracked open. I widened my eyes as I saw a small ball tube like structure also very green and jade like bulging out from the bottom lid.

Momo didn't scream because I think her heart stopped. But immediately behind her, Erika yelled, "Ah, the pain! My stomach-Daddy! Daddy! Someone call Daddy!"

Taira was so afraid of her that she quickly turned around to ask how Erika was. Meanwhile I knelt down and quickly tried to grab the small tube bulge, but it didn't budge so I smacked it onto the alter, which all collapsed-candles and pictures and all. But the good news I separated the lid from the small tube, and quickly tucked it in my bra without anyone seeing. Almost two seconds after I did that I was man handled by a couple of man servants who dragged me from all the drama and the mess. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the altar and the tatami mats on fire...

The result was a bunch of people running and screaming and carrying water buckets and putting out fires and trying to scavenge the scraps altar...

Seriously, now that I think about it, I would've laughed if it wasn't for me actually messing with a dead kid's altar.

But it is true that we were in big trouble. And two hours later, we were sitting on the porch with a very angry Taira and a very amused Uchiha talking about our behaviour.

I think despite the importance of what happened next, I should spend a few words describing what happened.

So we were made to sit together-and we can't leave because Momo Taira called her husband, who in turn called Erika's Dad. Erika was freaking out-which was very funny because I have never seen the kid actually freak out. She was always so elegant and calm and collected that we had speculations that she was a vampire or a robot. But the all the speculations fell apart when she grabbed on my hand so hard that I could feel all the blood being squeezed out from my hand. Her eyes showed true fear, and her lips quivered while glaring at me with a hatred that told me how serious the consequences of this was.

Ok I agree that at the time I was a little scared-

Ok I agree that at the time I was very scared-

FINE I admit I was also terrified-

Until I saw Chiro-chan walking into the front gates after her husband.

Whoa, they are both dressed in formal attire and they both look like they stepped off a red carpet-but I bet they walk that thing all the time.

One thing Erika and I have in common, is the basic and primal instinct to seek protection. We both stared and searched and trying to catch Chiro's eyes with desperation. She, however, darted her eyes at us and gave us a reassuring smile, which caused us to sigh in relief, except when Uchiha Itachi's voice came to our years-

"Taira-san, I am deeply sorry for my daughter's behaviour. Also for my sister-in-law's."

I actually shivered. Me, shivered. I was shivering when I suddenly frowned and reminded myself of what he just said. Seriously? Sister-in-law?

Chiro winked at me and smiled.

Ok, whoa, now we know who wears the pants in this house.

Itachi continued, "However, you realize Erika-chan is still underage. I suggest I take her home and discipline her, and she will make sure this does not happen again. She will pay the full damages she inflicted to your lovely home-from her own possession."

I could hear a little whimper coming from Erika's throat as she squeezed my arm this time.

Wow never mind. Scratch that previous pant comment.

And then we both were made to apologize, and that was when that old man Taira suggested ship me off to jail. I think his words were somewhere along the lines of, "This one isn't a Uchiha, please gave us the pleasure of grill her under justice."

Maybe not, but the fact that I was going to jail is sort of obvious.

That was when Chiro stepped in, "We already agreed to pay full damaged, and they apologized. I think that is enough. I am very sorry for your loss, but please don't push it."

"Don't push it? She ruined my boy's altar!" Momo Taira screamed at us. "She tried to steal that clock!"

And then something amazing happened-something I don't think I have ever seen-Chiro-chan being rude.

She sneered and made a snort noise, "Please, that thing only cost a few hundred thousand." But she said in this very contempt way that had us all astonished. Well maybe except for her husband.

I don't think Momo expected it either. Because she took a step back and stuttered, "It's... it's broken-"

"I highly doubt it. Who are you trying to scam here? That thing could be glued back as good as new. Jadette is known for it's tenacity."

That's what I've been saying! I mean, thinking.

"Are you saying that it's a fake?" Momo-chan almost yelled.

"I'm saying, the parts that fell off did not stick together when it was made." Chiro said calmly.

"This-this woman-" Momo almost fell down if it wasn't for her hand clutching on her husband.

She then demonstrated the last blow, "Your son wasn't exactly a saint when he was alive. Didn't you guys hide the scandal of him impregnating a minor? Or is this something you'd like to get out in the open now? Our Uchihas are not meant for jail-let alone to be pushed in by people like you. Let's go, girls. Let's stop for sundae on the way."

Her husband did not speak a single syllable during all this, and he certainly didn't make a sound when the Taira's looked towards him, "Is this what you... Uchiha-san-"

Itachi simply took off his coat and put it on his wife, "Don't get angry, dearest, remember there are things to get angry for, this isn't one of them. Girls, apologize one more time. Taira-san, send us the bill. Now let's go, we're going to have to talk about sundae, you can't eat anything too cold, how about yogurt and fruits..."

And those two already walked down the steps towards the gates while talking about snacks. We quickly muttered a "We're sorry..." and running after them. I think those two are glaring us with such anger and hatred that if looks could kill we would be dead.

IV.

I think that was the best yogurt and fruit smoothie I ever had.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: Because there was two spoonful of honey in it.

There are more mistakes in my writing than I like to admit. Recruiting efficient betas.


	21. Chapter 21

August 27, 2013

I.

Last Tuesday I took the small tube to Sasuke's suite, and I tried everything to break it open without actually breaking it. None worked, because I suspected it was sealed by jade glue. So when Sasuke came home I asked for his help.

Home. Teehee.

But the helping didn't actually start before he asked, "you burnt down an altar for a dead kid?"

I distracted him by kissing him-and he never pushes me away-and then presenting him with this.

"It was glued to the bottom. I smashed it against the...something, and it came off." I gave him the tube that is no bigger than my index finger.

"You tried to pry it open, didn't you?" He noted the bite and scratch marks on the surface. "Let's just smash it open. I don't hear any clinking in it, therefore it must not be anything hard."

He didn't have a hammer in his suite, so we borrowed one from the maintenance.

He put it on the surface of a piece of ply wood and smashed.

Let's skip the smashing-just know it took a few times-before it actually cracked open.

There was a roll of paper.

"What the heck?" I gasped at it.

He smoothed it out-it turned out to be a torn piece of paper. And it looked very old.

"It's a ... map." He looked close at it, and then read the bottom line, "this contains the location-"

"What's next?" I urged.

"Nothing. It's a torn piece. The first piece, it looks like." He frowned at it.

"What, is Orochimaru a pirate now!?" I yelled, "He's hunting for treasures!?"

"Hang on." Sasuke motioned, and then his finger traced on the piece of paper with scratches of what resembles mountains and rivers or something, there was a red line flowing across it, and he paused for a few seconds before speaking- "I've seen this."

"What?!" I yelled, "Where have you seen this? This exact thing?"

"No, not this exact piece, but it was another torn piece-it was on..in.. Orochimaru's office." He frowned, "It was framed and hung on top, and there was two pieces of them."

I fell frowned. "Do you remember what it said?"

"Yes-they were next to each other, and they said something about death and life, and a thin line of some sort..."

And within an hour, we pulled up to his brother's mansion.

Ok, they can be so chauvinistic sometimes.

"I found that! I should have a say in what it meant! I want to listen!" I yelled at the two of them, and they were prepared to go into Itachi's study to discuss this thing.

Sasuke responded with, "This is dangerous, and I am sure that whatever it was, it isn't something good. Now I promise to tell you everything that we talk about, but we need some priv-"

"This isn't fair!" I yelled louder.

And Chiro walked idly by us and tossed out a, "just let them be, Sakura, they will find a way to hide things from you."

I began to pinch his arm. To which he took the pain and kissed me very passionately. I think the inside of my organs melted while he chewed on my lips lightly and whispered, "be good-"

And when I realized what was going on, the brothers were gone and Chiro had a bag of lobster chips in her hand and nudging at me, "they locked his study. Trust me, it's sound proof."

I crunched a lot of lobster chips because they are yummy, also because I was angry. "Where did you get this?" I scooped out a handful of them, "They're so yummy."

"Our chef makes them." She said.

I think it's becoming a habit to come here on an empty stomach, because the food they make is so delicious. Then I glanced at Chiro with envy in my eyes. I can't believe she's so lucky, to have someone who loved her so much-I wonder if I should base my new novel on her. Because recently I was thinking about starting a novel. I am determined this time I will actual follow through with it-not abandon it along the way, like my every other novels.

However, my other novels has no realistic figure to set as backdrops. Only this one then. I really should getting a start on it. Thinking about this, I approached her and asked, "Hey, do you mind if I write something sort of based on your life?"

She shrugged, "if you have nothing else to do."

I am not an idiot. I could tell that Uchiha Itachi is sort of pissed at me for digging up her past and making her remember it again. But it's not like she forgot... And besides, it's good to look back once in a while, to remember your origins.

I think there were so much back story to each of them that it's impossible to document them all. I know I only got the very superficial gist of it, but I am determined to understand it. The people around us are always more fascinating than my own life. And as if this journal isn't a complete reminder of what a fucked up life I have, also it's a bit narcissistic.

Looking back at my previous entries, I have found that I did focus too much on myself and gave no indication of acknowledging others. There were so many hints that I could have dig up further on, and just a little farther, I could've had more time with him. I remembered, even when Naruto and I were engaged at the time, Sasuke rarely visited us. I disliked his devil-may-care attitude, and I assumed he hated my guts. But we did have dinner together every once in a while, because I thought he was Naruto's friend so I should at least be civil. And during those dinners I assumed he stared at me because he hated my face or something. Which was why I have always assumed he disliked me. He constantly stared, and I think he has the face of a never changing attitude of an ice block. In my defence it was very hard to determine the difference between love and hate with those expressions.

Besides, who was he, the great Uchiha Sasuke? He could mask his emotions quite well. I don't think even Naruto realized he was in love with me, because Naruto would've definitely talked to him and tell me about it.

Speaking of Naruto, I should pay him a visit sometimes. I can't believe I received his wedding invitation-he's going to follow through with that fake wedding of his? But it's fake-I mean, it's completely NOT real. He doesn't even love her!

I suppose it's very narcissistic of me to assume he still loves me.

A realization hit.

Since I was so confident that he loved me-he hid all those secrets from in because he fears that I will get into trouble knowing them. But the indication of him telling me hints that he doesn't love me anymore.

We could always be friends... I guess.

But it's something, to think that something that was there the entire time was lost before you even acknowledge it.

So right now I am facing my Facebook page and staring at the various profiles in front of my tablet screen. Chiro reminded me to eat my green tea ice-cream, and I scooped some up...

Just as I thought. Bitter and sweet.

I must be a bitch in my previous life. Knowing this, why do I have this urge to have everybody love me?

Ok to be fair, I just got into a relationship like a week ago.

Around an hour passed before the Uchiha brothers opened their secretive door and walked out. Itachi walked directly to his wife and wiped some ice-cream on the edge of her lips, "I told you no snacks before dinner."

His tone sounds scolding, but love filled each syllable that they overflowed.

She smiled and buried her head within his embrace, "It's because Sakura wanted some."

I stood there and didn't know what to do. Luckily Itachi knew what his wife was doing, so he hugged her while walking out of the library, "I think dinner is just about ready. You must eat what's on your plate-Sasuke, dinner?"

Sasuke looked at me, and I shrugged.

"Sure." He replied.

I sat back down, and felt a bit forlorn.

He sat beside me, with legs open and his elbows leaning on them, so he could look at my face more carefully. "Sakura?"

I took the ice-cream and scooped some in my mouth. "Your brother loves her so much."

He laughed a little and replied, "You have no idea."

Don't I?

He answered my look with, "If my sister-in-law points at you and says, 'her hair is shinier than mine, I want it', my brother would pull off the hair from your head one by one and make them into a wig for her to play with."

I was horrified, "has this kind of thing ever happened?"

He frowned and thought back, "Well, there was a time when she was very depressed, and refused to see us. Did you know how my brother forced his way back in?"

I was morbidly interested, and I shook my head while urging him on.

"He asked if she hated him that much, enough to want him to die..." Sasuke's expression was pained, then he let out a breath and said, "then he pulled out a handgun that he crafted for her himself, and asked her to shoot him in the heart."

Ok. Ok. Ok.

"Did she!?" I almost yelled.

"She did." He looked at me with an intense expression. "She missed a bit, however. It did not help when my brother steadied her hand when she pulled the trigger."

My jaw dropped.

"Luckily I had groups of paramedics on standby." He let out a breath of relief. "It happened on the attic, and all of us were below, watching as she pulled the trigger. When she did, my heart stopped too-"

I used my hand to close my jaw back up.

"And everyone who followed us hated her. We wanted her dead-when my brother was in the emergency room." He sunk deep into his memory and recalled, "We may have been a bit mean to her-verbally. She was waiting outside when he was unconscious, and all of us either ignored her or glares at her the entire time. You know the first thing my brother said when he woke up?"

I squeezed on his arm, "what? What!?"

Sasuke chuckled a little at the memory, "he said, 'Sasuke, did anyone give her a hard time? Kill them'."

Ok, if this is not prime romantic fiction material, I don't know what is.

"A week ago, when they went to the auction..." He smiled at me slightly, "she lost an ear ring on the carpets, and my brother bought the entire thing, had his men cut them up piece by piece into small squares to find that earring."

So when they came to our rescue they were in the process of carpet cutting. I sweat dropped.

"I use to think my brother was a fool." He put a hand on my hand and ran through my hair, "now I am beginning to understand how he felt-or feels."

Needless to say I blushed furiously. Then I suddenly remembered, "Erika then? He doesn't spoil her?"

"Of course not. She's born with Uchiha blood." Sasuke said as if it's a matter-of-fact. "He raised her to be a fighter, to excel above all others."

"And she's ok with it?" I blinked.

"Yes." Sasuke smiled wider at the thought of his little niece. "She was so spoilt when she was young, but extreme clever-it tortured us. So we sent her to Kakashi."

"Kakashi-sensei? The commissioner?" I asked.

He nodded. "And he trained her -well, before the whole kidnapping incident."

"Guys! Dinner!" Erika yelled at the mid stairs. We both answered and stood up.

I suddenly breathed out, "I feel a little left out-Sasuke-I don't think I belong here."

"Why?" He asked me with a surprise in his voice.

"Well, for one thing, you didn't include me in your secret conversation..."

"Sakura!"

"Ok, ok fine. To be fair you didn't even ask me to officially be your girlfriend."

"Would you like me to do that now?"

"No, I expect a proposal sometimes soon..."

II.

During the middle of dinner, Itachi received a text on his phone, and he pulled it out and handed it to Sasuke, who widened his eyes a bit and said, "should we get it?"

It turned out to be another piece of the map on auction. This time we have a name. The map itself actually has an origin, and it was famed to be the item of the great Ridoku Sennin. Which is just as incredible as it sounds. That man was practically God who died a long time ago after creating our world. How long has it been? Like a couple hundred years?

Come to think of it a couple hundred years is just a few generations, but I have never heard of anything about a map.

Itachi then explained to us, (by us I meant the girls. Of course he and Sasuke already know of this information) that the Six Path actually existed. He was incredibly wise-and before he died, he watched our world split into different major families. Knowing there would be a pending doom befallen to this world, he split his greatest treasure-which was the map itself, to seven different pieces, and gave it to the seven heads of the family. Since he knew each of them would be too selfish to share them with others. This was not well known because it was kept as a secret and passed onto each head of the family.

So Itachi and Sasuke's dad told Itachi about this before he died-not even personally. It was hidden in a letter in a safebox. Itachi didn't bother to retrieve it for like thirty years. He once took a look at it and decided he lost interest, so it's still in the safe.

"Obviously I need to take a trip to the bank." He concluded. "Sasuke, you said Orochimaru already has two, and we have two within our grasp. If we buy off this one being auctioned, we would have three."

Sasuke frowned, "It's ridiculous-even the beginning bidding is a five figure number."

"Doesn't matter." Itachi said without doubt. "We both know money isn't an issue here."

"It's a convenience, though." Sasuke spoke, "that this thing surfaced right after we discovered its existence. Do you think it's Orochimaru's doing?"

"It must be." Itachi nodded, "Perhaps he does not want to loose too much money on this-let's be careful-but whatever it is, we must get our hands on that map, and it's a large piece." He had his butler open up the same webpage and holding the large computer pad out to us and enlarged it, "this is the rough size of it. We don't have a clear image of the entire thing, they blurred it-"

"When is it on the market?" Sasuke asked, carefully examining the image. And am I the only one who thinks it's ridiculous to have a human being holding up a large pad computer at a dinner table and walking around with it?

"September 7th." Itachi replied. "I will retrieve it for you."

"Thank you." Sasuke replied without much expression, but his voice softened up a bit.

"What does the map actually do?" I asked with interest.

Itachi frowned, "Well, rumours say it holds treasure-a lot of it. Enough to tip our economy-but that's not our main interest. It said to actually contain the secret to life and death."

Erika scoffed, "Daddy, please."

Itachi chuckled, "Erika, don't take my words in a literal sense. You have heard what Orochimaru is capable of. Despite everything, there is a possibility to bring back the dead, however, the only way to defeat them would be to rip them apart and burn them to pieces. Without a complete body, the resurrection Orochimaru practices is simply useless."

"Oh my God." Chiro suddenly dropped her fork.

What happened next I was not kidding. Her husband apparently "appeared" next to her in a heartbeat-in a speed that I did not even know was possible-and asked her with tenderness in his voice, "What's wrong?"

She leaned against him and said, "I just remembered something. Do you remember-a few years ago I was reading that boring old history book for that course I had to take? You were helping me study?"

It must be more than a few years ago, but I was scared to chirp in.

Itachi nods, and all of us leaned in to listen to her.

"And I clearly remember, with the creation story, there was a few lines about the Sixth Path-that he-" Chiro urgently said, but Itachi finished it for her, "-there was no body in his tomb."

Chiro glared. Itachi chuckled and said, "I'm sorry. Please, go on."

She then said to us, "And the historians dug up his tomb and found it to be empty. Then there was the speculation that he buried his body where he indicated on the map."

Which caused us all to look towards Itachi again and confirm, "Is this true?" I asked.

He replied calmly, "I did a research on the internet because she was interested. The last part was not documented in the text because it was a speculation, but there was rumours of he dying within a tomb of his own creation, not the one the public made to honour him."

And Erika asked, "So nobody actually seen him die-he just one day disappeared and no one ever heard of him again?"

"His existence itself was already a legend by the time I understood things." Itachi said while instructing a servant to bring a new fork.

Sasuke finally spoke, "So Orochimaru's desire to find the Sage of the Sixth Path is to resurrect him?"

"That, and among other things." Itachi said.

We all stared at him.

"The flaws-within those corpses he resurrected." He pointed out. "They have merely a fraction of power and likeness with their living counter parts, but Orochimaru used them as a pathos mechanism. His tools were incomplete, but he got the two pieces of that map-and I suspect they give him a head start on this monstrosity."

We all looked at him with awe in our eyes.

Sasuke then contemplated, "So what we're looking for is a body-if it didn't decay yet."

"It does not matter." Itachi said. "I remember the words on the map in our safe. It says only a piece of the remains is needed. Orochimaru must knows of this too, but he only has two maps, therefore only a partial instruction to create flawed beings. With the map in its entirety, he could resurrect anybody he wants to if he has a piece of them."

We were disgusted by this. I was the exception. I don't get to eat food like these everyday so I gulp them down anyways.

I looked at the entire scene with warmth in my heart. It's so nice to see that families loved and supported each other, and they genuinely loved each other. Sometimes no relationship in the world outlast those of kin, and it's based in our evolutionary genes that we want to help our own blood.

Thinking of this, I idly played around with my food while sneaking peeks at the younger Uchiha next to me. Every time I look at him it reminded me that there will only be around six month of him left-perhaps less. And everybody present is trying their hardest to help Sasuke. Yet he seemed like he does not care at all. Everything he did he did with a casual emotionless attitude, and it's as if he was trying to humor us rather than letting us help him.

I frowned, mainly because I think he has given up.

"Classes starts soon." Erika eyed me and said casually.

Sasuke then looked towards me, "I asked Tsunade-san to pull your file, you only have a few courses left to go to graduate."

"What good is a degree these days." I said, hoping that he would drop it.

But instead he said, "I took the liberty of registering your classes for you."

I slammed down the table. "You WHAT?"

He said with a wide eyed innocence, which is absurd because when has he ever been innocent, "Well, both your grandmother and I thought it would be a good idea for you to finish your degree as soon as possible."

"Have you been talking to my grandmother? Why did you talk with her?" I tried to control my temper.

"Because she's your grandmother, Sakura." Sasuke replied, as if that was an explanation to shut me up.

I stared around the table, Chiro looked at us with interest, and Erika was talking with her father under their breath. Sasuke scooped out some clams from the ice trays and handed me one dipped with a creamy sauce.

Then I decided that I wasn't going to have my ways in this matter. Nevermind, it's going to be my prerogative whether I attend classes or not. And besides I have much more important things to concentrate on right now. If worst comes to worst I will just drop those courses.

Does that makes me a horrible person?

Everything is so complicated these days that I couldn't tell the fine line between white and black.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

TBC

A/N: Sorry for the delay. I have decided I will put this story as my priority first then slowly finish the rest. This one is the easiest to write.

Check out my oneshot collection: Ashes to Ashes. New stories updated-and they have endings.


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